As an end-of-summer treat, I told my 5yo he can stay up as late as he wants tonight. His regular bedtime is 7:30. It’s 7:50 and he’s outside swinging on his swing set telling me this is the best day ever. Will keep you posted on how long he makes it.

My 2yo has been calling mine and my husband’s bedroom “Dada’s room” for ages. I couldn’t figure out why, since I sleep in there, too. I finally realized it’s because she has literally never seen me sleeping in there. I’m always up when she wakes up. Dada? Not so much. 😂

“You’re not entirely wrong.” - Me refusing to admit my husband was right

My kids are so considerate. They like to play and make noise early in the morning on weekends, but they wake me up first to ask if they can.

8:21pm Me: “Good night, I love you.” 6yo: “If you counted for your entire life, what number would you get to?”

6yo: “Mama, what is a headstone?” Me: “A headstone is a rock that marks where you are when you die.” 6: “Why do we need them?” Me: (thinking of an age-appropriate answer) 6: “So you can always find the person you miss?” Me: “Exactly.” Kids never cease to amaze me.

Home with a sick two year old and watching endless episodes of Sesame Street. The letter of the day is R, in case anyone is wondering. Clap clap.

me: dating is hard me on a date: convicted rainbows go to prisms but it’s usually a light sentence

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Ok so my husband and I are mad at each other, and I just noticed on the grocery list he wrote "A Better Attitude" Do I laugh or….?

Kids talking at bedtime are like the marketing emails which you’ve unsubscribed to multiple times

My son was mad at me today so he told me as much punishment I had to go to my room and sleep for 24 hours. If I got hungry, he’d bring me whatever food I wanted, but I was not allowed to leave my bed for one whole day. If you need me, I’ll be on vaca-, I mean, in my room.

“Mama, can we Google a picture of the Tooth Fairy sitting on her pile of teeth that she’s collected?” - My 6yo unlocking a nightmare I never knew I had

Full of sushi and Prosecco. Life is good.

Me:

6yo: “Mama, I learned something today.” Me: “Oh yeah? What did you learn?” 6yo (ominously) “That we’re never alone.”

Have kids, so you can have an entire room of your house dedicated to toys only to listen to them scream-fight over a bowl of dried pasta and a single, specific Matchbox car.

My 6yo asked me to write him a book about mining - so I did! Available on Amazon if anyone else’s kids have a particular interest in mining, mining equipment, or gems. 😂 All About Mines: Cool Mining Facts for Kids

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you find yourself complaining to your husband that you think Land o’ Lakes changed their American cheese recipe because it just doesn’t easily peel apart the way it used to.

Welcome to your 40s you now rely upon your heated seats as pain relief for your aching back