Marjolein Robertson
@MarjoleinR
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Comedian, Improviser and Storyteller fae Shetland and your very nightmares.
Shetland
Joined March 2009
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when you take the Glasgow central train to Edinburgh Waverly instead of queen Street
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Forget Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling. This will always be my Barbie and Ken.
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Had the grossest uncalled for heckle today at my fringe show. It's not on. Don't be a heckler, don't be a creep and don't view a woman at her work as your misguided sexual fantasy.
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There's a lot o folk here being quite mean in da comments (in Shetland we use 'd' fir 'th' a lot, comes fae wir old language Norn). Anyway, to those who have come to this post to ridicule da way I speak and type in partial dialect, please be kinder. Let Shetlanders speak Shetland
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If Ben Fogle can do it. So can da islanders.
Join me fir da new exciting television series on:
Wild and Remote Scottish Cities
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Hiyi looking to buy a second home or holiday home up in Shetland? Here's some handy and free advice:
Fuck off.
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Some Shetland dialect fir you. Please enjoy, it took me 12million tonnes of icing sugar in special effects to make this.
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One Christmas I asked for Franz Ferdinand's album. They only had 1 at this point so I didn't think I had to name it.
I did have to name it.
My mam bought me a CD on the history of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria. So that. That is my favourite Franz Ferdinand album.
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Still canna believe I won da Scots Speaker o da Year award fae da
#scotslanguageawards
cheers to
@scotslanguage
and a big big cheers to aa who voted fir me. Here I am we
@DrMDempster
presenting da award.
Skol da hinder quaff tae dee! 💙
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Shetland dialect wird o’ da day.
Starting da moarn... well it wis meant to..
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BOYS O BRESSA! I won da Scots Speaker o da Year fae
@scotslanguage
at da
#ScotsLanguageAwards
😭😭😭😭😭😭
Cheers to everyone who voted for me. Here I am wearing a Shetland lace hap knitted by my grandmidder. Taakin a piece o hame tae da awards. 💙
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@beaton_bruce
@scotslanguage
@DrMDempster
Hiyi, I do, I'm fae Shetland, this is Shetland dialect. But not even fully as if I typed it fully folk wouldn't understand, please be kinder towards other folks dialects and languages in future.
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Steekit mist up here in Shetland.
I hear you've seen da sun sooth, send her here please.
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Disgusted by da anti trans movement I'm seeing in Scotland. Just to be clear here I am pro-trans. My Twitter is mainly jokes/dialect/folklore, but I don't want to be silent when I see so much hate fir da trans community.🏳️⚧️⚧️
Also 'witch' is for practicing witches. Not for hate.
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Got asked on my Timtok to speak Shetland with no subtitles after someone told me Shetland dialect is just 'Lowland Scots'
So here's a challenge, what am I saying?
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"I don't normally find women funny but you were hilarious." This gets said over and over to female comics and it's fucked.
I have a longer video on this. But Twitter only allows 140 seconds. Blame the billionaire.
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Shetland Wird O'Da Day: Fyanna
This one's dedicated to
@Lenniesaurus
fir her birthday.
If anyone does ever invite me to a Fyanna I'll bring cans... And brush this hair. Look at it.
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If you dunna like being called a Tory. Then dunna be one.
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So it turns out when your friends invite you round for a podcast their filming and recording everything you say.
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example of shetland logic: my Shetland pal was in Scotland & got a 49 bus but got off after her stop. So she grabbed a 94 because the logic was the inverted number would take her back again. to this day we are both shocked and appalled that didn't work
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: Knap
(‘K’ is pronounced)
I’m getting better at knapping to you aa, which is something that I forget to do when speaking aboot Shetland wirds..
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So in 2014, in Amsterdam, I wis robbed. Pretty much everything. Including this bass, my brother painted, da front is Ranginui, and da reverse is Papatūānuku.
I've never thought to try this afor, but Twitter, please, do your thing?
I really hope it's not at da bottom o a canal.
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Go easy on
@TheScotsman
it's no like it's clear where it's set. It's no like it's spelled oot in da title or anything.
Love this. Shetland is in the Hebrides according to a newspaper called the
@TheScotsman
- and they put it on the front page of their magazine.
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Hiyi, so sorry but I'm no doing Storytime on Twitch tonight.
Peerie Belle, wir border collie, wis put doon today. I thought Storytime would be a nice distraction but I dunna want to come on and be all sad.
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This took me a million takes as flukra kept slapping me in da face.
Another Shetland dialect video fir you aa:
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Shetland wird O’ da day: loff (love) and elsk (to love)
Loff is loff folks.
Let’s keep homophobia oot o’ Shetland and oot o’ everywhere. 🌈💕🥰
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But if we are all sober.. then who will sleep with the men?
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when he asks you your body count it's only polite to be honest
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😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃✨🎉💕💯🦏🐙🔪🪤⛺
Delighted to announce our latest signing to Off The Kerb, Marjolein Robertson (
@MarjoleinR
)
The award-winning comedian and storyteller from Shetland ranked No. 3 in The List's Hot 100 as one of the top Scottish cultural contributors of last year.
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Da hilarity o' folk who comment on Scots posts to "Speak English" yet also turn aroond and say "Scots isn't a language".
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: Moorie-Caavie. A snow storm with lots o wind... blizzard?
There is another wird to describe today’s weather and I’ll do that one damoarn. Cause I got cold.
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Refugees weren't responsible for the lack o jobs when the bankers were crashing our economy in 08. Same way as trans people aren't the reason the NHS is crumbling when the Tories have been underfunding it for years. Don't let those in charge, failing us, make us turn on eachother
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SHETLAND'S HELLY NICHTS CONT.:
TAMMASMAS E'EN
ah, da 20th, da e'en (eve) o my favourite day o da entire Yul festivities- Tammasmas, da best Helly Nicht (holy night).
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Sorry I’ve no been on Twitter fir a while, I’ve been very busy inventing this:
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Shetland Wird O Da Day: lift.
Wis I knappin’ enough in this one for you?!
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How to with William: bedroom etiquette
this was a very hard lesson to learn
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When you can be confident on stage, but struggle to walk in past da queue at
@StandComedyClub
to get into da venue and on da actual stage.
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I AM FLYING!!!
I am so happy, cheers so, so, so, so, much to all who have supported Storytime with Marjolein and helped me get Partner. Fae da lovely mods, to chatters, to lurkers and to da trows fir all their great stories fae Shetland!
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Shetland Wird O Da Day: 1st verse o da Unst Boat Song:
Starka, virna, vestilie
Obadeea, obadeea
Starka, virna, vestilie
Obadeea, monye.
Meaning (roughly): strong westerly wind, danger, strong westerly wind, da men are in danger.
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Was going to have a lie in to get ready fir da 12 hour spree to tonight but was woken up by cheers and music. Happy Up Helly Aa. That Raven banner 😍🍻
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A ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review. What. No. How. Cheers so much for this! 😭😭😭 But no thank you as well cause I wis gonna have a quiet night but now I'll NEED to have a dram and celebrate. Never had five stars before!
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: Selkie
Yes it is a magical creature, but in Shetland it’s also a seal. So please do not lose your mind when a Shetlander says they saw ‘twatree selkies destreen’. Unless you really like seals.
Then lose your mind.
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scots speaker o da year
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I didn’t think I cared aboot fitbaa and then I just almost spewed when I thought England wis aboot to score.
Finding myself.
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Shetland Wird o’ Da Day: Stramp.
Walking with purpose.
“I stramped ower da hill to fin yun bloody yowe”
Tr. “I marched over the hill to find that sheep”
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There’s a certain account on here tweeting misogynistic messages of how women should behave and men should avoid women who swear or use ‘vulgar language’. One o their examples: vagina.
I made this to retweet with it. But I didn’t want to give them more attention. So here it is.
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Shetland’s Wird O’ Da Day.
There’s been a lot o speak aboot if da Shetland wird is Scottish or Nordic. Well have fun with this one!
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Coming to Shetland? Great! Unless you’ve not done a lateral flow test. Then don’t come.
You risk endangering a whole community if you’re travelling without checking.
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Shetland Wird O'Da Day: Da
Can't stop thinking aboot this wird ever since
@liamwithnail
's joke aboot me using it.
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hearing disney world meridas accent has fully ruined my whole Sunday
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: twartree
Meaning: a couple, or, a fair few. I ken. Sometimes confusing.
I would use it usually mean a couple fir me anyhoo.
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Any 'exodus' that is happening is folk being oot priced o their own local housing market.
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Shetlanders today who celebrate Auld Yül (old Christmas).
A Göd Yül tae dee aa!
(Merry Christmas everyone - again)
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day:
‘Manyugilti’
Hae some lesser evil manyugilti funs on April 1st.
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I used to be a dog person. Until I discovered that I actually have hands and am human
Anyway everything is now Rufus. Rufussywoofussydoofussydooooooo
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My Fringe show at
@StandComedyClub
(ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵈᵃʸ ⁽ⁿᵒᵗ ¹⁵ᵗʰ⁾ ᵃᵗ ⁴ᵖᵐ ᶦⁿ ˢᵗᵃⁿᵈ ²) is front page
@EdinburghLive_
news!
It only took a little bit of ✨misogyny✨
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Not Shetland.
What do you call this? I had a Geography lecturer from Milton Keynes who called it the Anglo-Irish Archipelago.
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Hiyi
@elonmusk
I don't know what your Twitter situation is, and all that, but if you are here, can you please switch on some Starlink for Shetland so they can get back online? I need to ask my Mam how old is too old for a packet of mince.
Cheers.
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Christmas Rom Com Idea: She's single, he's single, both heading home for Christmas. Until a sudden unexpected clash at the train station where they.. swap bodies! Heading to each other's homes as eachother! She's a mother of four. He's a paedophile. Hilarity ensues.
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had to finish my show 'Marj' ootside the
@StandComedyClub
as a woman fainted during the emotional climax of the hour. was it because it was so overpowering? or because global warming? or demonic possession? we will never know
she's fine btw x
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How to with William: Poppers
Also: HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎉✨💕😍
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Shetland Wird O' Da Day is back!
Cause o' my serious lack o' voice please enjoy it fresh fae Tiktok. No complaints.
Misanter.
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Hiyi just to clarify: Folk moving to become part o da community and make their home home here. That's amazing!
If you have never lived in a similar latitude or climate I would highly recommend trying it for a year (specifically Winter) afor you commit! It can be rough for some.
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Shetland Wird o’ Da Day: Sooth Moother.
A term fir folk who have travelled up to Shetland, and did you ken why? I explain here:
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Shetland Wird O Day: ootdön
Meaning: tired.
And I am dat.
Please let me ken if there’s any wirds you want to hear da Shetland version o!
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Every so often you see a map, and think this is da worst representation o' da UK:
- Shetland in a box
- Shetland lowered doon
- Shetland missing
and then Elon Musk comes along with his Stalink map and takes da biscuit by stopping even before da mainland has.
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@TelegraphLife
STOP NORMALISING BEING COLD. IT'S NOT A SHORTAGE OF ENERGY IT'S ENERGY COMPANIES MAKING RECORD PROFIT. IT'S NOT OK TO BE SUDDENLY PRICED OUT OF WARMTH.
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: Slater
As requested!
To be honest I never kent woodlouse wis da English name fir a slater till I wis way older. Thought a woodlouse wis a whole different insect. (This happens often we birds, insects and flowers fir me).
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Spot the difference
No. 5:
Limmy's tweet aboot covid 5 days ago and Limmy's tweet aboot covid noo.
@DaftLimmy
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More photos wi wir
@johnc331
2022 I am very thankful fir dis green dress du bestowed upon me.
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: peerie
Or, is it, far away?
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Shetland Wird O'Da Day: Broch
I have more information aboot them but my brain wouldn't pass it onto my mooth.
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: Sneeb
REAL-TIME FOOTAGE O’ A SNOWFLAKE MELTING ON MY NOSE.
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This wis midnight destreen (yesterday) looking at da simmer dim. Awful boannie.
Also: Me enjoying it/whisky at 12.01am destreen
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: spaegie / hansper / creeks
Three in one! And a wird there’s no specific English equivalent fir (that’s no an acronym). Think this wird o’ da day exemplifies da richness o wir dialect... so many wirds fir one thing!
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Had the annual shoot with
@johnc331
and friends to see if we've aged or if the blood sacrifices are sufficing.
We've been doing it for over a decade (the shoots that is. I've been doing blood sacrifices for centuries).
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Last night whilst on stage a couple of folk in da audience were drunk 'whispering':
"Is that a real accent"
"I can't understand her"
"What is that accent"
This is why we should have a broader range of Scottish voices on telly and radio.
#MoreThanJustACentralBelt
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Another snow related Shetland dialect wird for you aa!
I also ask you to listen to nothing. Because I forgot how soond works.
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Whatever your Christmas wis, it wis never as good as this guy's.
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Scots as a language. Lol don't at me. Respectful discussion is welcome though, also mackerel, fresh mackerel is always welcome, send it my way.
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Lots o discussions these days regarding women's 'body counts' glad to finally be included in this dialogue.
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Heads up, I want to keep this Twitter page as a safe space fir LGBT+ so any comments in reply to this that are in opposition to da original post will be muted.
Trans women are women. Trans men are men. And recognition of all our non binary siblings too.🏳️⚧️⚧️🏳️🌈
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How to with William: salt and peppers
who knew there was more than one condiment? - this gal (now, thanks to willum)
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Watched the Queen's funeral with my 3 year old daughter & she said:
"It's sad some people don't like her & wanted her to give up, she couldn't, she promised to serve all her life & she couldn't break her promise."
And I said "I don't have a daughter." And called the exorcist.
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Shetland Wird O Da Day: Newrdie / Newerday
Currently functioning on 60% drams and 70% tattie soup.
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: Kittle
A two meaning wird. (Boy boy!) Be interested to see if this is used in Scotland/Nordic countries.
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Shetland Wird O’ Da Day: ganzie
As da days grow longer I got caught by surprise that it wis dark and I hadn’t done my wird o da day yet! So here he is, all aboot claes (clothes).
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Shetland wird o’ da day: Doot
And I doot I almost forgot to upload this een!
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Shetland Wird O Da Day: Gaevil
Here’s a wird I never even kent wis a Shetland dialect wird!
I even used to work with historic buildings and I wonder how many document I wrote ‘gaevil’ in...
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It's been a while... Hiyi!
Here's a kind o Shetland Wird O Da Day: Hello Nichts so far special!
I wanted to do one a day but cause o weather, power cuts and being poorly here's a stramash o da first four together.
Noo go and eat some oats.
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i was worried my audience was becoming mostly thirsty men who don't realise I'm making jokes and less the demographic of folk who actually enjoy my humour. so it's really heartening to see in the comments I'm reaching women again
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