Every time I go to leave twitter I remember the good folk who I know I would be friends with 'in the real world' and I stop myself from leaving. Then I return to my 'for you' feed and want to smash shit up!

If you know, you know. The 'nearly home' trees. #Kernow

En route to gods country for a few days. Driving into the sunset, singing along to The Stylistics. #Kernow

Got to be honest, loving pivot tables! Could almost be an analyst (almost)

Everyone hates Harley's but I don't care, I love mine #HogLife

Will probably have on my left arm as won't cover properly on right arm.

Opinion. Am I too old to have new ink?

@BGatesIsaPyscho Hi @BGatesIsaPyscho - @UKCourtsLive we where live in court in Liverpool for this trial, all the way through, so we can easily set the record straight for you on this one☝️ One of them is in prison & more than likely to stay there, but the Jury couldn’t reach a verdict on the

OP PUSHBACK has commenced, I'm not being everybody's bitch and there's a long queue.

I'm sat just 6 feet away from the toilet, 5 minutes ago that was nearly 6 foot too far!

Face ache memory thing 5 years on, still going strong. #CaymenS #Porsche

True dat.

Sat in garage waiting for car to be MOT'd, elderly lady comes & interrupts my listening pleasure on Spotify. Idle chit chat at first, within 2 minutes she's blaming illegal immigrants for ALL crime. Without being rude I reminded her that most crime is committed by UK nationals

Pass #phew just a couple of minors, wiper blades, track rod and be dust cover, rear tyre close to limit. My bank account is safe this month 😳

Porsche is in for MOT. Wish me luck 🍀

Annual reminder that spineless leadership is nothing new; 40 years ago today a good man died & many others had their lives & health ruined. Rest in peace Keith Blakelock and Richard Coombes too. One day a broadcaster will let us tell the story of serial 502 and the Farm Team.

Bought a set of in ear headphones for my holibobs but these have provided to be difficult to use even with the smallest inserts. Kept falling out etc, good sound but a pain. I've dug out my #Bose sound cancelling wired over ear headphones, with a USB adaptor, so much better....

My son, @CammyRisden, is selling his Honda Deuville 650, it may be 22 years old but has low mileage and mechanically sound. Selling as he only needs one bike now and his good lady is pregnant, so won't be riding pillion any time soon. £950 or thereabouts. Contact me for info

Today was a minor miracle, haven't worn this body warmer ('gillet' for southerners) for 6 months, today I can do it up with room to spare. My weight loss journey is a bit up & down but still 2'st 10lb down so it's a work in progress. Feels good. #winning

copies on DVD, 1 blu-ray and still have the old VHS knocking about somewhere. I remember bunking off school to watch this masterpiece. Cue quotes.....#MontyPython 'welease wodewick'

Couldn't tell you how many times I've watched #lifeofbrian, probably 20-30, feels like a hundred sometimes BUT it remains the one 'funny as f**k' movie I will always go too, even to the point where I've just paid £7.99 on Amazonprime for a copy I can DL to my phone, I own about 3