Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱
@Makiadi_
Followers
157,825
Following
996
Media
5,987
Statuses
262,555
Expatriate in Netherlands🇳🇱,Climate Change Advocate,Real Life Stories,Renowned Author,To buy ‘The Bandit’ and “Escape From Australia” Follow link on bio.
Lelystad| Netherlands
Joined March 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#MetGala
• 2575608 Tweets
Rafah
• 2427023 Tweets
#스키즈_멧갈라_축하해
• 361313 Tweets
ariana
• 261454 Tweets
Zendaya
• 218711 Tweets
Lana
• 190153 Tweets
#الاهلي_الهلال
• 181682 Tweets
Manchester United
• 166535 Tweets
Superman
• 128149 Tweets
مالكوم
• 111700 Tweets
Crystal Palace
• 108479 Tweets
連休明け
• 101493 Tweets
Tyla
• 96517 Tweets
Rihanna
• 83026 Tweets
GW明け
• 80210 Tweets
メットガラ
• 73472 Tweets
Olise
• 73111 Tweets
Casemiro
• 71795 Tweets
#CRYMUN
• 64625 Tweets
Katy Perry
• 60208 Tweets
gigi
• 57996 Tweets
Garden of Time
• 52273 Tweets
Macklemore
• 51764 Tweets
emma chamberlain
• 49298 Tweets
bruna marquezine
• 47020 Tweets
Cardi
• 45194 Tweets
Kendall
• 44078 Tweets
Onana
• 35636 Tweets
Man U
• 35116 Tweets
Anna Wintour
• 33572 Tweets
Blake Lively
• 27478 Tweets
Kylie
• 27423 Tweets
taylor russell
• 27362 Tweets
休み明け
• 24721 Tweets
Hades 2
• 23207 Tweets
Law Roach
• 23066 Tweets
سمير عثمان
• 18676 Tweets
Mateta
• 17418 Tweets
ゴールデンウィーク明け
• 10540 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
THE UNUSUAL ANGEL🧵
During my days working as a clearing agent hapo JKIA, I always wondered kama kuna an unknown spirit, nilitumiwa na mtu nilimkosea kitambo na nikasahau, ikuje inimalize. After landing the lucrative job through my cousin Challenger, who was a veteran….
21
122
369
Vijana muache kutupa CVs ovyo ovyo Sometimes Save some money and participate kwa Stanchart Marathon alafu make sure uko ile bracket ya mwisho yenye hukimbia for 1Km then walk the rest if the race,hapo ndo wamama Matajiri and top CEOs wako.Utakuwa unavuruta wamama mkono …1/n
566
4K
12K
Kenyan Students wameamka 5 a.m kwenda kusoma “Factors affecting Food production in Mesopotamia in 4000BCE”
237
2K
8K
24 hours later, the former record holder Eliud Kipchoge has not yet congratulated Kelvin Kiptum for breaking the Marathon World Record! But nikiongea mtasema niko na issues. Acha Mungu aamue hii kesi.
498
2K
7K
To Survive in Organizations run by Kenyans,never show them you are ambitious. Continue your developments in utmost secrecy alafu always make them believe wewe ni mtu wa sherehe na warembo,top management wakipata wanaambiana…achana na huyo,hajui kitu
199
1K
6K
Social media is powerful,police wameingia kazi CBD.
137
751
6K
Tukitoka Campus tuliangukia Kibarua ingine Hapo Pepsi Baba dogo na kazi yetu ilikuwa kuona Chupa imebaki na uchafu after zimeoshwa,So bright lights were used to avoid any mistakes,Ulikuwa unatoka Shift uko partially blind unazindikizwa na Watchmen hadi Stage.
285
1K
6K
Kuna siku tulifanya Revenue vs Expenses ya Dairy farming ya Ng’ombe mbili ya Grade tukajipata kumbe we have been working for the cow bana ...Losses tupu
311
1K
5K
Ukilewa na matajiri ata hujuangi bill ililipwa saa ngapi unaskianga tu “bro you good?" Then fanya makosa ya kulewa na awa “middle class” wa Nairobi wenye huongea na mapua ,Time ya kulipa bill tension inaingia meza yenu ni kama kuna Breaking News.
180
1K
5K
While working in Mombasa it was not Unusual to see Married women hunting for their husbands deep into the night in Nyali pubs,mnapiga sherehe kidogo ngoma imekatwa na Dj alafu mnaskia…“Josphat Owiti,Manager port operations bibi yako anataka kuvunja gari yako Tafadhali Toka Nje”
173
1K
5K
Angekuwa Mrembo Ungeona Governor wa that Region amemwita kwa office yake na kuambiwa…“We saw you being disturbed by a baby elephant and it was cute,Congratulations you are employed as Minister for Tourism and given a trip to Seychelles 🇸🇨 “
163
1K
5K
I now remember Schooling with the son of Ambrose Rachier back in the day,ni wale Siku ya Visiting day walikuwa wanakuja na Tents na Professional cooks sisi tukiletewa Gazeti and assurances Pokots hawajaenda na Ng’ombe.
112
681
5K
How do Ants tell rain is coming even a week before?sometimes I suspect hii dunia kuna other forces we know nothing of.
272
722
4K
Kuna siku Tulikuwa Out na awa wasichana wa Nairobi hukuwa Warembo but hujiona very Complicated .Told my guy aseme natoka Congo na huwa nafanya Biz ya minerals alafu saa hizo naongea broken swahili nikiongeza “Bi na ngai na Respect”…Karibu watu wanipiganie
147
688
4K
Ukiwa na Straight As in High School,Upate 1st class kwa University alafu umefanya hadi Masters,Ukitoka Interview,Chairman wa Board anaambia panelists…“Huyu atatusumbua,tuendelee kutafuta”
102
854
4K
Kuna siri zingine watu wameenda majuu hawaezi waambia na si Gatekeeping, ni kuchunga jina. Kuna kazi zingine ziko na pesa lakini lazima ukaze moyo na ufunge macho ndo uomoke. Unaeza angukia “tender” ya kuosha care homes ya watu wazee then from nowhere mama mzee akuone…
252
965
4K
Waiguru vs Ngirici Saga is the funniest so far in this election ,Waiguru intentionally played victim and Ngirici let down her guard alafu Waiguru akatokea na finisher😂😂😂
107
513
4K
Leo mechi ule Kijana wa Statehouse atapewa, will be one for the books. Kuna mahali atapinduliwa na akianza kupiga nduru juu ya utamu, aambiwe, “this is for today bby!”
210
709
4K
Ukiwa na bibi working kwa hizi big corporates where the“Big Boys” are moneyed,inabidi umekuwa prayer warrior and talk to God daily you never go broke. Ata ikiwezekana,nunua ile Pocket Bible ya green ya Gideons ndo ukiwa unatembea nayo ndo ukuwe na uwepo wa Mungu 24/7. If she is…
145
918
4K
The Clip on Ruto wanting to Slap Jayden has actually Cemented Mt Kenya Votes😂
130
383
4K
Unashangaa wapi your housewife amepata pesa nowdays then one day you come home early kuingia unaskia kuna kelele Bedroom,Kuchungulia unaona bibi amevaa Lingerie mbele ya ring light shaking her boobs akisema “This is for my top gifter Bashir from Dubai,Keep tapping the screen bby”
172
629
4K
Kenya Ukipata mrembo ametulia amd knows what she wants in life lazima ako na mtoto mahali.
117
692
3K
Kuna Siku WhatsApp video call nearly ended my Longterm relationship na nilikuwa nishatoa deposit ya mahari ya Ng’ombe mbili,Mrembo alikuwa Eldoret so alikuwa amepiga simu 6.30am to listen to background noise venye huwa anafanya during her Usual audits especially…1/n
255
688
4K
In Marriage there is no escape route,Unajaribu kwenda gym to keep fit your wife whispers in your ear in the dead of night“Naona umeanza kuunda mwili ndo ufurahishe wasichana,Baba Liam kama hututaki na watoto sema mapema sisi tujipange,usione watu wamenyamaza ukafikiri ni wajinga”
184
821
4K
Westlands mnapatana na CEOs na General Managers kwa Vibanda …ni Kama Jayden alirarua Economy akamaliza
109
696
3K
Hizo picha huwa mnaona online za Rwandan women ni za rich kids…The ground is very Dirty.
127
452
3K
Alafu Nigerians before Scamming our Intelligent,beautiful Working Class Nairobi women huwa hawana haraka,Goal inakuanga zile long range huwa inapata Keeper unawares kama Za Kevin De Bruyne ama Yaya Toure at his Prime.Nigerian men mostly target wanawake in places of influence 1/n
220
1K
3K
Vijana huku Nairobi walijiona players wakapea different women Mimba,Saa hii Payslip imenyongwa na watu wa FIDA pesa inaingia End month inatoshea Tusker Nne warm
112
629
3K
My wife is excited amepata job Nairobi but mimi najua am done
209
508
3K
Mwanaume ukisota its your own wife who finishes you completely; Kwa bedroom utapewa Shingo Upande but she will wait hadi time unakaribia Climax then slowly whispers a Negative affirmation kwa maskio yako…“Ni kiuno tu ndo unajua kuzungusha but kutafuta pesa ndo umeshindwa kabisa”
197
737
3K
Hakuna kitu mbaya kama Kuoa from a wealthy family,mkikosana,Siku ya kesi Uwanja mzima huwa imejaa gari za kwao then kuna Aunties wake in Abroad wanafuatilia Kesi via Skype alafu saa hiyo family yenu mzima mko na gari moja ya Uncle wenu Tajiri ameingiza family mzima kazi ya Police
152
632
3K
Ukioa from these rich families inakuanga pressure tupu,time ya Holidays Mkitaka kwenda upcountry your own kids ndio huwa wanakuruka…unaskia tu “Tusiende kwa Gogo mwenye hana stima” na saa hizo wanaongelea kwenu.
121
679
3K
@SolecialGirl
I Am a pilot from Kenya 🇰🇪 and no one has ever celebrated me,how is she special?
86
44
3K
Diamond Platnumz made money and switched to making Boujie music targeting Middle Class pesa ikaanza kupotea,to connect with his fanbase that made him wealthy akajikondesha then akaingia studio na kuangusha…“Yatapita,yana mwisho,ipo siku tutayasahau,watatuheshimu walio tudharau”
126
426
3K
Ni kama Bien wa Sauti Sol deep into the night akilala, akipinduka to change his sleeping position, ule bibi yake rich kid mNaija, whispers in his ear in hushed tones…“hao vijana wanakutumia vibaya, fungua macho mtoto wetu!!!”
112
582
3K
There is a group of kids who are now between 30-40 yrs whose parents wea civil servants and lived mostly in Nairobi’s Langata ,South B,Buruburu,Langata etc who are functionally drunk and have nothing to themselves except fond memories of the days they had money
198
897
3K
Utapanda KQ alafu midflight uskie Pilot “Shiiiet tuliongeza mafuta kweli”
91
685
3K
Kuishi kwa hizi middle Income apartments huku Nairobi huwa drama kila siku,Asubuhi unaskia Mwanaume amepiga nduru kwa parking watu wanakimbia to know what’s up kumbe mtoto wa Mama anaishi Ground floor ameandika Alphabet mzima kwa Mercedes ya Daktari.
81
647
3K
Nimeona hiyo video kijana ako na seat mbili za plastic anapiganiwa na 3 women,kuna shida my lords😂
119
443
3K
Kuna siku i was fresh from Marakwet nikatembelea my Cousins in Nairobi alafu wakaweka movie na Home theater iko na surround system acha Risasi zipigwe nikaskia ni kama imetoka nyuma ya nyumba nikalala chini…thought Pokots wamerudi kutumaliza
132
716
3K
The Potatoes you eat at KFC are actually Genetically Modified,So i wonder mbona mkiletewa ya Mahindi mnaanza kujifanya Activists.
175
559
3K
Only smart people know why Miguna Miguna is back…Hint;It will involve the Courts.
99
238
3K
Ukisimamishwa na Traffic police introduce yourself confidently alafu wakiuliza License mwulize kama anajua mtu anaitwa MR Elema wa IPOA,hiyo organization huogopwa sana, utaskia tu umeambiwa Ilikuwa Salamu na ukifika Nairobi Salimia wakubwa.
66
468
3K
My book “The Bandit” which has a collection of real life stories is finally ready ,will be releasing it next week in all media outlets thanks for the support and encouragement.
258
713
3K
Anxiety as Health CS Dr Susan Wafula exposes herself at Citizen Tv just a few days after taking over office.
60
255
3K
HOW TO “CAPTURE” A SUGAR MUMMY IN KENYA 🇰🇪
Hii dunia hakuna formula ya kuunda mali,ukiangukia loophole ya kupata riziki, shikilia hapo. I noticed vijana wengi hawajui siri ya “intercepting” wealthy women to help them bypass the long route to wealth and bright further. Makosa…
246
930
3K
Vijana wanajionea ma Cinema kwa Marriage;Bibi anakudekeza kumbe anamalizia process ya Visa. One Friday unaambiwa wanaenda upcountry then Sunday hangover ikiisha,Unaona Whatsapp Status yake ameshikwa Mkono akiwa na Watoto na Ule Auntie wake wa USA with the Caption…“Free at Last”
126
536
3K
Kuna Conmen hufanyia watu interviews za Job za UN hadi kuna mzungu anakuuliza maswali Via Skype na saa hizo maumbwa wamejificha Nyayo estate
117
799
3K
Men won’t admit but pia sisi huwa sexually harassed in most organizations,unaitwa na Mama top executive alafu anachomoa list ya staff mliandikwa pamoja then looking at you suggestively anakuambia “Chemnjor ona venye wenzako wameendelea na wewe umekwama,fungua macho kijana wangu”
138
550
3K
Ngugi wa Thiongo’s kids have lived all their lives in the USA but can speak Kikuyu fluently ,Alafu wewe Chematia umezaliwa Cheptongei,Ukaenda Cheptulon Girls then ukamalizia masomo Aplhax College Eldoret alafu unakuja kutuambia unaskianga Marakwet but huwezi ongea?…Shenzi sana
152
600
3K
Kulewa na watu hutoka marginalized areas huwa pressure tupu juu ya shida walipitia.Wakiwa high kidogo unaona mmoja wao amechomoa kabambe yake and starts calling while Crying...“Uncle ulinisomesha wakati nilidharauliwa na kila mtu na hukuwa na kitu,Sitawahi kukusahau jomba"
132
607
3K
Drama at JKIA as a woman from Saudia meets her agent live live…I hope Ruto closes All thise Rogue Agencies with Immediate effect
281
1K
3K
Mkiwa kwa hizi “high end” Clubs alafu mchomoe Miraa muanze Kuchana,Upper Middle class huita manager immediately alafu anaulizwa…“Are we Safe?”
107
561
3K
Unachelewa kufika home unapata wife amekaa hapo kwa sitting room amejifunika na shuka ya Maasai alafu anaskia ile wimbo ya Rose Muhando “Mteule uwe Macho” kwa simu Through Bluetooth alafu she keeps repeating ile line ya …“Msherati endelea kufanya Usherati utakwenda na Bomb!!”
96
550
3K
I hope Mark Masai amejenga mahali Nairobi,Pressure ya Rent will make you not Think Straight.
60
281
3K
Mimi sijawahi ogopa wealthier men kuniibia mrembo,my biggest worry ni wale ndume huamka 4 am kulima fresh untilled Land(Kitira) bila shati.Unatembea kuInvigilate hapo 7 a.m jamaa anaimba Kichwa ikitoa moshi…hao ni wale wakishika bibi yako anaambiwa…“Ukitosheka nichune maskio”
148
498
3K
End of year parties huwa Chaos tupu,umekaa kwa corner taking beer ukijiSpike na maji ndo usilewe uchome picha alafu unaambiwa umeitwa na Mama flani anakuanga top management,kumpata the tipsy woman whispers in your ear “Chemnjor huwa nakupenda lakini nikikuonjesha ntaharibu kazi”
124
484
3K
Soon mtakwama kwa Jam Mombasa road alafu kuuliza Driver wa Rembo Sacco shida iko wapi uambiwe…“Chase car ya Azziad na Priscilla wa Imani zinapita”
71
549
3K
Eldoret umekaa Tamasha na Slayqueen wako suddenly unapata a message from unsaved number….”Bakule tumetoana mbali,huyo atakumaliza”
107
516
3K
Kuna Tension kubwa in our Family WhatsApp Group…One of my cousins has moved to Australia with his wife before Consulting my Uncle who is well established in the Country,amewauliza "mmepitia wapi?” After a photo of the Couple surfaced wakishikana mkono outside Sydney Intl Airport
123
394
3K
Kwa mazishi yako your friends from Nairobi wataingia na Sunglasses,alafu wamebebana na Chupa za Keringet na ndani wamejaza Gordons,after confirming from villagers that hakuna Nyumba umejenga watakuwa wanarusha mchanga wakisema…“na venye alikuwa anapenda anasa kumbe hana kitu”
98
604
3K
Citizen TV is already feeling the heat,Looks like Ruto wants to revive KBC after realizing how Biased the media was during the campaign period
90
393
3K
DCI headquarters Naambiwa mambo ni moto bana…wueh
66
250
3K
The real owner of China Square is a “powerful” CS of the former regime…hii vita has nothing to do with Chinese products,its personal.
78
378
3K
Siku yetu ya Graduation something unfortunate happened,One of our Top Secretariat wa Marakwet University Student Association (MUSA),hakuambiwa Graduation Gown huvaliwa juu ya Nguo kama kawaida,Bandit alitokea Graduation Square na Gown alafu ndani Amevalia Vest na Boxers.
168
472
3K
Guys in Kenya check the source of the alcohol you are taking. Am told by a doctor kuna a spike of deaths from chronic pancreatitis juu nowdays tunakunywa Pure ethanol imewekwa flavor.
209
768
3K
Kwa hii maisha there is always that Ex you will remember after so many years ata ukiwa happily married to another person.Umekaa tu Sunday afternoon na wife mkiwa Out then unakumbuka…“Sieet leo ni safe days ya Chepkemoi”
137
393
3K
A Typical Kenyan will queue for 3 hrs to get two Maize flour at 100 bob then pass by a local pub and drink alcohol worth 5k,we just have weird behaviors as Michael Joseph once said.
99
516
3K
Niko Embassy of Netherlands and it looks like So Many Kenyans are leaving the Country.
82
223
3K
Sakaja will be a bigger fraud than Sonko,I now Understand why he failed to finish his degree.
80
285
3K
Vijana bado mko Campus,mnaona wale Wasichana hawakai poa, no one notices them na wanapenda sana kwenda Library? Ignore them at your own risk,some of us are living in regrets. Huwa wamepewa nyota na Mungu ya kujiokoa. Tumefanya stock take juzi na kama wote wako in top jobs abroad.
90
482
3K
Bill Gates ako Kenya juu anashangaa aliwapatia Vaccine ya kuwamaliza na bado Mnaishi.
75
467
3K
Dating hii Generation iko nyuma yetu especially those below 25 yrs huwa an extreme sport,unaamka around 9 Am unapata mrembo hayuko unasema atlast umeangukia msichana hardworking then kufika Sitting room unapata mtu anajiongelesha mbele ya “Ring-light” ati anaunda Content.
81
432
3K
SIRI YA NDOA
Usiwahi fanya white wedding,hiyo ndo mistake ya kwanza vijana huwa mnajiingiza ndo muonekane romantic ama mfurahishe your con pastors and church members. Avoid those Caucasian and Colonizer weddings like people with bad luck. As soon as your wife ameLaminate…
154
740
3K
Kuna Soap flani inaitwa SAWA niliona nikajiambia acha niPromote local Products, Iko sawa shida ni moja, huwezi shika na mkono moja alafu kwa bathroom unatumia tu once ikiwa dry, Kutoka hapo ni hide and seek juu ukishika inaSlide, tulikimbizana karibu niSlide nivunje Spinal Cord.
165
377
3K
Cuzo alikwama nikaongea na my former boss amtaftie kazi,Kumpata Kijana amevaa ile shati ya maua na watch, ilibidi tumepitia kwangu nikampatia Shati imechanika kwa mabega ndo akasaidika.Mkubwa alinipeka kando akaniambia…“he looks healthy but struggling, let me see what I can do”
74
348
3K
Naskia nowdays vijana wanalipiwa ndege kwenda kupanda Mbegu huko Australia alafu Tajiri akiConfirm Ultrasound iko sawa wanakuwa Deported waendelee kuteseka kwa The City of Champions
108
375
2K
When Men notice a weakness in a woman they will never let her know,huwa anaachiliwa tu polepole.
59
432
2K
Married men, msikunywe smoothie or any liquid substance unsupervised, naskia kuna shida ground.
141
480
3K
Issue ya Chiloba imeleta pressure Upcountry Concerned relatives wameanza kutuma Sleuths to Investigate the Conduct ya Vijana wamechelewa Kuoa wakiwa City,Auntie wa Kamelei anapiga simu kuuliza kama his Favorite Nephew ameonekana na Nguo ya Pink wakimbie kwa wazee wachemshe dawa.
115
444
3K
Alafu every household has that one Drunk Uncle who holds the family’s dirty secrets,anakuanga roho mzuri but hapendi madharau. So in important functions his favorite nephew is assigned to make sure he is well fed na amepewa pombe yake juu one mistake atamwaga mtama mbele ya umati
83
495
3K
When you Marry a certain Section ya our Sisters from the Mountain,ukifika a certain level of Financial Independence unaanza kupewa Special Diet ya Crushed Steel wool ndo utoke dunia mapema.
213
415
2K
I have noticed something very strange, Nowadays I have noticed parents wakipeleka grown kids to Join Universities. Our time sikumbuki nikiona mzazi ata moja, don’t you think we are raising a generation of irresponsible and dependent kids?
371
402
3K
Crocodiles are so entitled sleeping in rivers waiting for wildebeests to cross for easy food…bridges should be built and let those idiots die of hunger
136
615
2K
As a businessman Ukitaka Church yako watu wajae na watoe pesa Mzuri,Invest heavily on Church Choir with good looking people and World Class Instruments.Also come up with unique emotional Praise and worship songs that will capture the masses. Finally import a pastor from a 1/n
151
640
2K
As a Kalenjin ukishajenga 3 bedroom Eldoret you have achieved everything in life and your wife will let you even disappear for months with no worries
123
524
2K
Raila is setting himself up,The dean was still a Child in 1969😂😂😂
205
658
2K
Crypto Billionaires wanamalizwa one by one after Kuosha investors.
63
307
2K
Drama will start when Raila will start leading in Central Kenya.
82
210
2K
Its True Kisii people hupendana sana one goes to Minnesota and brings a whole community aboard…sisi Kalenjins one goes To Australia alafu anashinda whatsapp akisema ..”hiyo process ni ngumu sana,haiwezekani”😂
99
460
2K
Skia Kiburi ya Winnie Odinga when the State House dream was real and Achievable 😂😂😂😂😂
247
737
2K
Watu hawaPost maisha yao Social Media mtatumaliza na pressure,Tumepatana na Cuzo wetu alipotea after being written off by Society,After Drinks kumwitishia taxi,akatupeleka nje Tukaona Mercedes C Class,mimi nikavumilia but my Uncle nguvu Zikamwishia akakaa live live kwa Verandah.
85
365
2K
Nyumba za Bachelors huwa kama Landmines,Ukiingia the first 10 mins mnapewa instructions how things work ndo msilete accidents
53
624
2K
I hope boy wa Chelimo anajua Next Level Ninjas will be taking over.
104
361
2K
I learnt about women and Hypergamy immediately after Campus when we were hustling,Hizo siku i had a beautiful Woman i had great plans for alafu she was connected to a job at Nivea and thats how she went MIA,To date i cant use Nivea because of Trauma.
124
374
2K
I have noticed something na Kenyan Politics,Ni kama our brothers from the Mountain wataoshwa na Doyen soon…kuweni macho.
159
255
2K