MMA Roasted
@MMARoasted
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MMA Jokes by Comedian Adam Hunter. I love the sport and making people laugh. Hope you enjoy. Check out .
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Here is the BRAND NEW episode of The MMA Roasted Podcast with
@DonFryeFighter
,
@billdawes
,
@SIKJITSU
and
@bradyHiestand1
! Check it out!
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A Man beat a Trans-Woman in an MMA Fight. Props to the Girl, she had balls.
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Conor McGregor arrived in Abu Dhabi and is carrying what appears to be Henry Cejudo
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Tyron Woodley said he’s going to inflict pain on Colby Covington like he’s never experienced. I guess he’s gonna rap in the Octagon.
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The UFC said that Chimaev, Nate Diaz and Kevin Holland are going to be fined for the Backstage Brawl. All the money will go directly to the Nelk Boys.
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A clean urine sample to USADA.
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Francis NGannou said he’s no longer interested in fighting Jon Jones. Makes sense. Francis walks around at 280 and Jones walks around because he has a suspended license.
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Tyron Woodley would beat the shit out of everyone in this room and then ruin the moment by rapping about it.
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Dillon Danis is now calling out dead people.
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He obviously got stoned with the Diaz Brothers 5 minutes before this.
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Dave Chapelle was attacked last night while on stage. Luckily he hired Palhares to be his bodyguard.
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Ronda Rousey announced that she’s pregnant. The unborn baby is already ranked higher than Dillon Danis.
#UFC
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Cody Garbrandt said he didn't have sex in 3 months to prepare for his last fight. If not having sex makes you a better fighter, it’s no wonder Cejudo is so great.
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Mark Zuckerberg is going to have his next fight before Dillon Danis
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Dillon Danis got arrested last night for trying to impersonate an MMA Fighter.
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If the UFC releases Jon Jones he plans on going to Invicta.
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Cody Garbrandt hasn't had sex in 3 months to prepare for his fight. If not having sex makes you a better fighter, then Chase Hooper should be undefeated.
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Jon Jones really has his work cut out for him vs Francis NGannou. Francis walks around at 280 and Jones walks around because he has a suspended license.
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Colby Covington said he’s the King of Miami but is now missing a front tooth. This now makes him the King of Arkansas.
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Congrats to 17 year old Raul Rosas on securing a UFC Contract. His parents Max Holloway and BigFoot Silva are extremely proud.
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This guarantees he won’t pull out of this fight.
I protect myself inside the Octagon,
@trojancondoms
keeps me protected outside.
#ad
#ProtectYourselfAtAllTimes
#TrojanCondoms
#UFC254
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Henry Cejudo’s Stand Up has never been better. Check out his Comedy Debut on “UFC Comedy Jam” now streaming on UFC FightPass.
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Khamzat Chimaev has gotten into more fights in the last 3 days than Dillon Danis has in the last 4 years.
#UFC
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Nevada: Where prostitution, gambling and marijuana are legal...but Jon Jones isn’t.
#UFC232
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Tyron Woodley said he’s going to inflict pain on Luque like he’s never experienced. I guess he’s gonna rap in the Octagon.
#UFC
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Jon Jones announced he will have Cocaine Bear walk him to the Octagon this Saturday Night.
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Joe Rogan got COVID. He will now interview the Bat that caused this entire pandemic on his next podcast.
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Even Jon Jones thinks that Conor McGregor needs to get his life together.
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USADA
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PVZ is either doing a lesbian porno or her Jiu Jitsu really hasn’t developed at all.
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Tomorrow Night’s BKFC Event is a Battle of who hates their Dad the most.
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Tyron Woodley said he’s gonna double his output tonight and throw 2 punches.
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Congrats to Conor McGregor’s son on being the new Head Coach of Team Alpha Male.
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John Kavanagh scored the 1st round of the Islam Makhachev vs Thiago Moises fight for Conor McGregor.
#UFCVegas31
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The great
@Benaskren
won 19 fights without any hands.
I fought DJ and Marlon with no legs! This two pump chump broke his nail and can’t compete.
#levels
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Chael Sonnen and Don Frye have fought 6 more people in the past month than Dillon Danis has in the past 3 years.
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Sean Strickland landed more punches in this scuffle than Dillon Danis did against Logan Paul.
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You can never question the dedication of Henry Cejudo. Before he won the Title he abstained from having sex for 31 years.
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True Story. I sat next to
@stylebender
at an Award Show. He could not have been nicer. Took pics with everyone. My 4 year old daughter was with us & accidentally kicked Izzy’s drink all over his tuxedo when it was time to leave. I apologized & Izzy shrugged and said “Kids.” He…
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Looking forward to hearing this next guest on the Joe Rogan podcast.
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Miesha Tate was in labor for 72 hrs when she had her last baby. She said it felt like “Watching 1 Belal Muhammad fight.”
#UFCLongIsland
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Every time Rountree fights I think of him telling his mom to shut up.
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Kevin Holland’s corner just threw in the towel but DC caught it and used it to make weight.
#UFCOrlando
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Michael Chandler is a great guy. He’s always been there for John Dodson.
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Conor McGregor said he will not drink alcohol to prepare for his next fight. In a related story, cocaine sales in Ireland have just went up 700 percent.
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Justin Gaethje's worried that Conor McGregor is gonna get the Title Shot next. McGregor said he's not only going to skip the line, but he's gonna snort it as well.
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Julianna Pena said she’s gonna win tonight because she has bigger ovaries than Amanda Nunes. If this was the case, Dillon Danis would have all the Belts.
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Paige VanZant is charging 5 thousand dollars for a used Sex Toy. I ordered one and Austin Vanderford showed up at my house.
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True Story. I was sitting next to Nate Diaz during the Woodley/Wonderboy 2 Fight. It was dud. I asked Nate “Did you ever have a fight where you couldn’t get going?” He spent 5 minutes telling me about a fight in the 5th Grade. He counted that one as a fight. Legend.
#DiazPaul
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I would rather attend the Ben Askren Boxing Academy than listen to Stephen A Smith talk about MMA.
#UFC
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Calvin Kattar’s corner just threw in the towel but DC caught it and used it to weigh himself.
#UFCFightIsland
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Honest question. Has 1 person ever received 1 dollar from Dillon Danis for liking his tweets?
If Nate Diaz beats Jake Paul l'Il give one person who likes this tweet $5,000
Must be following to win!
@dillondanis
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Dana White signed a 17 year old to compete on The Contender. Pat Barry thinks that’s way too old.
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Dominick Cruz was definitely the kid in school who reminded the Teacher she forgot to give the class homework.
#UFC
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Why am I just finding out that Vanilla Ice became a Country Rapper?
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Well he definitely can’t seem to do it when Dustin is awake.
New footage shows Conor McGregor threatening to kill Dustin and Jolie Poirier “in their sleep” while making a gun sign 😳
#UFC264
#PoirierMcGregor3
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Tony Ferguson said he’s going to Harvard in 3 weeks to get his Business Degree. I feel bad for the 1st person to let him know that he has to apply and be accepted in order to attend the school.
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The UFC announced the new Main Event will be Rachael Ostovich jumping on a trampoline in a bikini while Bryce Mitchell explains Conspiracy Theories.
#UFC279
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Conor McGregor was invited to a Thanksgiving Dinner. He tried to stuff the turkey but it still got the takedown.
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So far the only person who knows what really went down between Colby and Masvidal is Dillon Danis...since he was the valet at the restaurant.
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Conor McGregor showed up to the
#FreeCain
rally very disappointed. He apparently was looking for something else.
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Conor McGregor tried to fight Machine Gun Kelly at the VMA’s tonight. It would’ve been his 1st win in 4 years.
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