Lily Sullivan
@LilyYily
Followers
27,401
Following
1,127
Media
346
Statuses
3,689
HR Ghost Margo "Spirited"/ "This Book Changed My Life" CBBWorld/“Going Deep" Stitcher / "I Think You Should Leave" Nachos Lady / KJ "The Righteous Gemstones"
Joined May 2012
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Pinned Tweet
my love language is cooking elaborate meals screaming at everyone to get out of the kitchen then loudly announcing the food was NOT MY BEST and waiting for compliments
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for everyone asking: the recipe is you cover whatever you’re eating in olive oil and too much salt and then you roast it at 400 until it’s kinda burned
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sees 1 string of patio lights turned on
me: wow so beautiful i could get married here
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i don’t get why my bridesmaids are pissed at me! i just asked that they pay $300 for a dress, buy a plane ticket, quarantine for 2 weeks at a hotel, get tested, risk their life at my 300 person wedding, and give a long speech about our inside jokes
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i miss going to parties and waking up hungover feeling bad about everything i said to every single person i talked to
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I will now always use this text as my audition monologue
President
#DonaldTrump
holds notes while speaking to the media before departing the White House for Texas 📷: Mark Wilson
#QuidProQuo
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wow this is the only time i’ve ever been interested in sport
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trust fund kids
Birds are fed by their parents in their infancy. When the time comes to feed themselves, there can be some confusion when the food does not go into their mouth by itself.
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As someone who grew up in a ski town with a lot of realtors, let me say, this man is on cocaine.
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i don’t know who needs to hear this but you have clothes in the dryer
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follow my ass for more recipes like when you put garlic in a pan with oil everyone will say “wow dinner smells amazing”
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But I love bars! Where else am I gonna have a guy yell in my ear that he majored in communications???
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In high school when I was friends with the hot girls and I had to convince myself I was the interesting one
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you did a great job capturing his voice here, white house intern.
OUR GREAT USA WANTS & NEEDS STIMULUS. WORK TOGETHER AND GET IT DONE. Thank you!
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me: begging my fiancé to take a pic of me looking cute at dinner
the pics he takes:
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Instagram: My life is perfect
Twitter: The world is ending
Facebook: 3 years ago today I moved to this city to pursue my dreams. It was scary and I didn't know how to ride the subway. But last night it was all worth it when I got to perform with FartProv at Hot Garbage Festival..
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Every so often I am reminded of the time in high school when a guy slapped my ass in front of a bunch of people and I yelled “fuck you!” and then everyone got mad at me for “freaking out”
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@CoreyRittmaster
all of my recipes involve putting an unhinged amount of ingredients on your gigantic kitchen island then mixing it around until it somehow looks even more disgusting than it already did and then announcing “look how good that loooks!”
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today makes me miss girls in tiny dresses and high heels saying “i’m cold”
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Trump: my b lol
Repubs: omg lol no worries
Dems: so annoying .....lol
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if you're drinking a milkshake and you're over 25 it will feel like it's trying to kill you that is just science
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Apparently my mom thought your phone automatically closed your last browser tab when you opened a new one. My brother just sent me this and I can’t 😭
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wondering what kinda dinner Mare is scrounging up tonight without us
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just went grocery shopping so it’s time to go out to dinner and spend a lot of money
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Feeling absolutely BLESSED i got to play KJ on The Righteous Gemstones. This scene with
@EdiPattersonHi
was a true GIFT 💕 KJ and BJ 4ever
@tim_baltz
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My brother gave the dog he’s watch a bath and she came out looking way worse hahahaha
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me after 2 years of no social interaction just absolutely gone talking to the rodents in my infested home
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Shoutout to Lily Sullivan
On this week’s
@ComedyBangBang
Bicky from the Gym (
@LilyYily
) is back to talk about her new career!
Then, Hip-Hop superstar MC Sugar Butt (Carl Tart) returns. Plus, Pastor Pasta (
@eggy_boom
)!
Listen wherever you get podcasts - ad-free at !
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Guy please don't laugh it took me and the other PAs so long to build this set and find the right vest
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men will literally join 10 improv teams instead of going to therapy
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everyday i come on here and everyday i like the tweets about Fran Drescher being hot
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do y’all have “forbidden” pairs you think look alike but also know NO one else is gonna agree?
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the answer is: no i will never stop talking about scott’s love of hentai
On this week’s
@ComedyBangBang
we have the director of Borat 2 & Paul T. Goldman,
@jasonwoliner
!
Then cruise ship worker Chippy Dipps (
@LilyYily
), coffee impresario Bill Smither (
@willhines
), & Joey Salsa (
@caseyfeigh
)!
👂wherever you get pods -ad-free @
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you don’t need money to be happy you just need someone else’s husband to kiss your inner arm on the red carpet
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Hi. This is my audition tape for “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.” Please help me get cast!
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i so sorry you find a white clumpy hairs in your bird feeder what a sad day for you and birds why you no take your jeep grand cherokee go ride into a volcano of fire ants
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BREAKING: big sweet potatoes eating little sweet potatoes
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i didn’t even know this was being taken of me today I was so exhausted from crocheting lamp shades and making my own ricotta Oh the farm!
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Oh you know i love hearing this ❤️❤️❤️
.
@LilyYily
My wife and I love listening to This Book Changed My Life! I'm sure that she'll rue the day that I finally got her into the CBB universe, but/and we really love your show!
I tell everyone about TBCML, it's our favorite in the CBB World! ()
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my burrito wrapper making its way to the trash
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me: i’m not a people pleaser
also me: doing full stand up routine to make sure the waiter likes me
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Don't support this. Let him do his own research for his addiction.
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I worked on a cruise ship & the Head of Safety told us that when a ship sinks people dont panic. Instead they keep doing what they were doing, eating dinner as water hits their feet. Passengers dont realize the gravity of whats happening until the staff tells them whats happening
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weird my spotify wrapped didn’t include
1) leaf blower
2) neighbor with guitar
3) kid screaming
4) lawnmower
5) random hammering
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*buys baguette once
me: wow i am a gorgeous Parisian woman
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hey it’s me Jason Mantzoukas please listen to this and follow me on my not confusing at all twitter handle
@LilyYily
It’s the
@ComedyBangBang
Holiday Special 2020! An all-star cast drops by to wish the fans holiday cheer!
With Jason Mantzoukas,
@PFTompkins
@TVsAndyDaly
@Gabrus
@laurenlapkus
@eggy_boom
Carl Tart
@LilyYily
@tim_baltz
@shaundiston
&
@danlippertcool
!
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if you put robert pattinson in a movie you are legally required to make him look physically ill
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@ScottAukerman
@ComedyBangBang
@TVsAndyDaly
also if you want to follow Jason Mantzoukas on twitter his handle is
@LilyYily
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Tim and I just got our engagement photos what do you guys think
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look at the childbearing hips on this thing
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if you’re having a good time on new years you’re doing it wrong
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I had such a blast on the
@ComedyBangBang
tour!! Thank you to all of these hilarious gems for such a fun trip and all the incredible crowds! it was absolutely MENTAL!!
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omg i’m 1 follower away from 1M guys make this happen 4 me please
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when people ask me if i have kids i reach into my pocket and pull these out
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I love CBB!!!
Celebrate 15 years of CBB with all your favorites: Jason Mantzoukas, Original Fig, underwater creature Neptuna, Francesca Bolognese, Randy Snutz, Jeffy McSaturday, Quiet the Mime, Scott’s Nana, and The Bronze Boogie Boarder!!
🎧
@earwolf
or
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Maybe my worst accent yet on todays CBB! Please listen 💚
On this week’s
@ComedyBangBang
it’s the return of
@thelonelyisland
’s Andy Samberg, and he’s brought
@neilerdude
with him to talk about their new show DIGMAN!
Then, Sister Margaret (
@LilyYily
), and of course Dirty Dog joins - bark bark!
Listen wherever you get podcasts!
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i have two brothers and a dad so this holiday is really important to me
Tomorrow: International Men's Day (Nov 19)
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get yourself a man who calls you everyday like my boyfriend Scam Likely
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INTRODUCING COMEDY BANG BANG SERIES 1:
@ScottAukerman
@PFTompkins
@shaundiston
@LilyYily
Tim Baltz and Lauren Lapkus!
Figures will release in pairs!
Scott Aukerman and JW Stillwater shipping this week!
Sprague and Big Sue coming this June!
@ComedyBangBang
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shout out to Lily Sullivan
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Francesca Bolognese hard at work
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White House Intern, my edits are below:
-delete the “with their help, i am feeling well!” doesn’t sound like him. He doesn’t acknowledge people’s help usually?
- “feeling well” should be “IM GREAT!”
-overall i suggest more capital letters and exclamation points with this one
Doctors, Nurses and ALL at the GREAT Walter Reed Medical Center, and others from likewise incredible institutions who have joined them, are AMAZING!!!Tremendous progress has been made over the last 6 months in fighting this PLAGUE. With their help, I am feeling well!
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people from high school posting pics of the family they started immediately after graduation
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