Michal Lile
@LileHQ
Followers
210
Following
500
Media
178
Statuses
688
Creative Leader in Education and Visual Art (he/they)
Indianapolis, IN
Joined March 2013
Just thinking the same thing earlier today, but thought it as I’d rather die living than live dying because to live dying is not to truly live at all
The paradox of civilization is that the more one is anxious to survive, the less survival is worth the trouble.
0
0
0
Truth that allowed me to surround myself with only the people who are right for me. I found no sense in wasting precious breathe forcing DNA based relationships
Because someone happens to share your name or DNA doesn't mean they automatically "love" you, add value to your life, or are worth the risk or consequences of maintaining a relationship with them.
0
0
0
Cultivating this idea has been central to my centered happiness
It’s a little bit funny, isn’t it, that anything exists at all? Has that ever struck you? I mean, it’d be so much easier for there not to have been anything, because being is a bit of an effort.
0
0
0
Love doesn’t put you in survival mode. It will require sacrifice and can feel scary because of the vulnerability required to receive an offer it back. But, love is not something you’re supposed to heal from. If someone keeps hurting you in the way they love you, it isn’t love.
7
66
397
Truth
Why do children raised by abusive parents often show loyalty or forgiveness? Trauma bonding is a big factor. When abuse is sprinkled with moments of care, it creates a powerful emotional attachment. It’s a survival mechanism shaped by years of manipulation.
0
0
1
This turned out to be one of the best, most life and love affirming decisions I’ve ever made. Happy to share my experience with anyone who might benefit
0
0
0
I was also comfortable with the kind of pain I endured and needed time to recognize the risk of the unknown was more promising than staying and allowing the pain to continue indefinitely
1
0
0
I should add that this was a process that took about three years of reflecting and recognizing patterns I had previously felt (was hurt by) but never had been consciously aware of
1
0
0
This was true for me, except after my realization I actually stopped loving them in the way I had because it felt foolish, and the leaving became much easier.
When you begin to heal, you’ll let go of people you love deeply, because they see your love as an invitation to keep hurting you. The focus becomes offering them more love to get less hurt, until you realize there isn’t enough love to change people like that.
1
0
1
Truth
Foresight is bought at the price of anxiety, and, when overused, it destroys all its own advantages.
0
0
0
Sadly practice makes perfect here too, but I’ve also seen it lead to blindspots for those who fail to develop the ability to recognize who is actually trustworthy
Nobody naturally reads body language and energy like a person who was raised in trauma
0
0
1
Truth
Life is an organization that will not work under dominance. It will only work by cooperation.
0
0
1
To understand why childhood trauma is so detrimental, is to consider what it would be like to be dependent on someone who is hurting you. A child, having to navigate an unsafe person while also needing them for everyday life. If you relate, I’m sending you compassion, & peace.
53
592
3K
Until you realize their denial tells you about them, not about you. Then it’s easy to move away and on
If you’re the first one in a toxic family who chooses to heal, navigating their denial will be one of the hardest parts.
0
0
1
Spot on
How to know whether to heal with or walk away from a parent: A healthy parent is going to reflect on your hurt and begin their own healing journey. An unhealthy parent is going to create chaos because they’re no longer the main character in this chapter of your life.
0
0
1
Lived truth. I’d like to believe I’m doing this less now but probably only minimally. If you identity, please be patient with yourself. If you meet one, please understand it comes from somewhere
Why do people over-explain? 1). They've had their reality denied & are trying to be understood. 2). They got hurt in harsh ways & think it was because they didn't explain themselves better. 3). They were/are often ignored. Sending peace as you rest in your explanations.
0
0
0
Racial covenants found in West Lafayette home deeds featured in exhibit
jconline.com
What began with one West Lafayette resident's deed unearthed dozens of others with racial covenants, inspiring a local group to organize a public exhibit.
0
1
1
Oh my that’s a good one!
Please don’t accept advice from people who were active in your trauma but absent in your healing.
0
0
0
So true
When boundaries are placed or estrangement comes into play, others often create false narratives to avoid the truth behind those decisions. The truth is someone’s had enough & is trying to heal. Those false narratives have no role in your growth, including trying to defend them.
0
0
0