The best minds in mental health aren't the docs. They're the trauma survivors who have had to figure out how to stay alive for years with virtually no help. Wanna learn how to psychologically survive under unfathomable stress? Talk to abuse survivors.

The fact that we can, w/ consistency, compassion, & patience, reduce our vulnerability to trauma responses over time does NOT mean that we only suffered in the past because we "failed" to do the "right" thing. We don't have the tools until we do, & we're not ready until we are.

Fashion has no age limit, and neither should style. At SHEIN, we celebrate inclusivity by designing collections that empower and inspire women at every stage of life. Because confidence is timeless, and every woman deserves to feel seen, styled, and unstoppable.

There's no surer way for us survivors to be swallowed whole by our anger than to grit our teeth & refuse to acknowledge it. Yes, I understand anger can feel "pointless." But that doesn't mean we can deny or disown it & be "fine." If it exists in us, we gotta clock it & honor it.

#inktober2025 Day 7, prompt: “starfish”

Here's to everyone struggling to grieve the loss of a family member after realizing, in the course of your trauma recovery, how profoundly they failed to protect you from an abuser once upon a time. There are very few more complicated grieving tasks out there.

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Chances are if you're reading this, you've had to make some tough choices & sacrifices to honor & assert your literal right to exist. Others may assume that's "dramatic," but you know the price you've paid for a chance at genuine recovery. I see you. Keep baby stepping today.

Staying focused on our recovery identity & goals is a tough ask when we're head f*cked about our level of dependence or powerlessness in the moment. Don't let it melt you down. Breathe; blink; focus; & start at the top, reminding yourself who you are & what your life's all about.

There is nothing silly or stupid about the little soothing routines & habits that keep us focused & (relatively) regulated as we work our trauma recovery. Knitting, puzzling, fidget toys & apps-- they're not just "distraction." They literally, physically help us cope & process.

Running around w/ a constantly activated "fight" response doesn't mean you "hate people" or you're "destined" to be alone forever. It likely means part of you is sick & tired of being invalidated, & needs explicit attention in your internal work-- & it's done waiting & hoping.

Imagining the family & mentors we wish we'd had is a mental focus tool that got many of us through periods of abuse, neglect, & bullying-- & a tool we can intentionally leverage now in our trauma recovery. It's not "playing make believe." It's marshaling our internal resources.

Every time we engage our pain or fear w/ compassion patience, acceptance, & realism, it makes a difference. It makes a dent in the neural pathways that drive our trauma responses. Our vulnerability to future trauma responses is diminished every time we have our own back.

#inktober2025 Day 6, prompt: “pierce” #NotAnArtist

You did not lack "character" or "toughness" or intelligence. You lacked safety, support, & realistic tools. Extending yourself grace is not about "making excuses"-- it's acknowledging reality. You're not "the exception" who "should" have been able to figure it out"on your own.

You need to know it's not "crazy" for experiences you endured decades ago to still affect you so much that you need to work a recovery today. The passage of time doesn't heal anything on its own. If anything, it deepens wounds that are not properly understood or acknowledged.

Many survivors don't even realize that their experiences w/ the medical system or a church were painful not just because those experiences sucked-- but because they reopened & deepened wounds left over from childhood neglect or bullying. Recovery is often about connecting dots.

You are not "weak" or "broken" or whatever bullsh*t Trauma Brain is accusing you of being for getting triggered & spiraling. Trauma responses are physical reactions that have zero to do w/ your "character." Resist, resist, resist the reflex to shame yourself for them. Resist.

Wanting to harm yourself is a super common symptom of complex trauma that many misunderstand. They don't get that that's how badly we want to change what we're feeling & experiencing right now-- that it's an impulse that can be driven by self-preservation, not just self-hate.

Remember: our worth does not begin & end w/ what we can do for people, how attractive or entertaining other people find us, or how closely we adhere to anyone's idea of "good." Yeah, we like it when others are drawn to us-- but their affinity for us never "creates" our value.

For trauma recovery to be sustainable, it can't just turn into a "to do" list divorced from the values & goals that actually interest & motivate us. That'll make us feel controlled & trapped real fast, & our nervous system's gonna say, "nope."

#Inktober2025 Day 5, prompt: “deer” #NotAnArtist

Be gentle w/ yourself around the trauma symptom of decision paralysis. The problem is not that you don't have enough pressure or shame to get yourself to act. It's usually the opposite: you don't feel like you have enough safety or support. Try softer, not harder.