I've had articles get over a million views. But nothing I've written has generated as much positive feedback as this piece (that I never intended to share). The number of people reaching out to say thanks or to say they're sharing it with their daughter has been truly amazing.

If you’re messy, confused, broken, or incomplete, you’re going to attract relationship partners who find those traits appealing.

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Closeness can feel suffocating. Distance also feels threatening. Greater connection means greater vulnerability. Your amazing partner could drift away and be lost forever. Finding the optimal balance of closeness and connection is a challenge for every couple.

Sometimes you're looking to love someone else because you aren't able to love yourself.

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People withhold emotional closeness to avoid getting hurt if the relationship ends. By that logic, we should all work minimum-wage jobs forever...at least we'd never experience the pain of losing a higher salary. Somehow we know that's absurd when it comes to money, but we live

Break ups don't break your heart, they break your hope.

Be realistic, what’s going to happen first in your relationship? You fixing them or them breaking you?

Be Honest—It’s Sexier Than You Think: Truthfulness isn’t just a moral virtue—it also makes you more attractive. @PsychToday

Avoiding bad relationships is an underrated dating superpower. Clarity reveals compatibility. When you know what you want, you see who’s right for you. @PsychToday

Be careful, because those "just for now" dating relationships can accidentally become "stuck forever" relationships very easily.

Shadow Benchmarking: In dating, this happens when you talk about past partners in unfavorable ways. While it may seem harmless, it sets an unintended benchmark: your current partner automatically measures themselves against that “low bar.” Worse, it signals what kind of treatment

My latest Psychology of Relationships substack... ➡️ Love that demands silence isn’t love that lasts. ➡️ When love means losing yourself, devotion becomes depletion, not connection. ➡️ Why you should want more from your relationship than simply being happy.

Dating is full of fiction. Which lies are you telling yourself? 1) They’ll change. 2) I can't do any better. 3) This is what I always imagined love would be like.

Someone out there needs this reminder: When a relationship doesn’t work, you can be sad, even devastated, and STILL know you made the right choice. Break ups aren’t happy or sad. They’re often both.

Finding your former self or former relationship cringey is a good sign. It means you’re growing.

@LewandowskiPhD Funny thing is, people chase “hustle” and forget how costly instability is. Supportive relationships aren’t just nice-to-haves... they’re performance infrastructure. A calm heart builds sharper focus.

Productivity Hack: Have a healthy relationship with a supportive partner who brings you peace and stability.

Your attachment changes how you perceive reality: Imagine that the person you’re dating says: “Everything between us is good.” What do you think that means? ➡️Avoidant: They hate me…don’t love me. I need to shut down, or run.. ➡️Anxious: OMG they’re leaving me. I MUST do

Who doesn’t want to be more attractive? Check out 10 science-backed ways to boost attraction. @PsychToday

Guys used to send full on love letters from the battlefield of war. Your guy can remember to send a 2 second text.