Kittenfish💖
@Kittenfish817
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Last Seen Profiles
Has anyone sincerely thought “oh, good a musical episode” when watching a non-musical show?
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As a person who’s never had a penis, the idea that you have to shake the lingering piss out of your wiener so it doesn’t get on your pants is extremely funny to me
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I saw someone call Jennifer Connelly an 8 and my vision immediately went solid red
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My friend’s boyfriend’s boss sent a video of himself masturbating in a mirror to all of his employees instead of his fiancé, these were his following messages
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I was SO confused why everyone was saying congratulations because I meant to text this picture with the caption!! I’m so embarrassed! I am not pregnant
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This is happening because Melania insulted Christmas out loud. Santa was watching, he’s always watching.
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Is there a part of you that thinks that sex is deeply gross?
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Hi, I’m Diane Feinstein, and during my 8,000 years here on Earth, I fucked up the Night Stalker case because I was so excited to be on tv.
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This actor from Beetlejuice and Mars Attacks! is the star of the day on TCM and it’s wild to see her so young
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I used to think haunted house movies were dumb because just move out, duh, but as an adult I finally get it that just moving is massively not an option most of the time.
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@tony_magoni
@PissJugTycoon
I’m imagining an actual hole in the ground inhabited by a giant worm
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@EclecticHams
My girl can’t have friends or she’ll fuck them, I say this because I’m a secure alpha
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Wait, Passions did it once that I remember and I did love that one
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I love that multiple directors have been like “what if Batman, but not fun?”
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Oh so you expect the president, a tiny, 81 year old baby, to be able to put a sentence together? To know where he is? To know who he is, at all hours of the day? You smug fucking asshole
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Come here, big shorts. Come here, big shorts. Your shorts belong to me. Give them to me (indiscernible). I want to claim my shorts. I want to claim my shorts. I want to claim my shorts. These are my shorts.
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I used to get a teenager magazine , I think it was Seventeen, when I was like 12 and it always had embarrassing stories people sent in in it and some would be like “I almost tripped in front of my crush!” but others would be like “I had diarrhea on the floor at my grandma’s
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Liberals in the Wizard of Oz:
Umm, hey, munchkins, it’s not cute to celebrate the death of the witch like that. A song, really? A person is dead. Have some class.
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What’s your favorite cinematic interpretation of the devil?
What's your favorite cinematic interpretation of the devil?
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I never liked Alf. Not even for a minute. Stop eating cats, you elephant seal faced mother fucker.
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I would let The Hague stop me. Like if I was really on a tear, and The Hague was like, “cut it out” I would listen
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@deb_fillman
I’m so sorry you went through seeing an item that wasn’t specifically catering to your skin tone. Are you going to be ok? Did you take your temperature?
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I hate when my luscious wife gets even bigger titties. I absolutely hate it. Divorce
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The
@ITYSL
account tweeted this and I liked it but I thought it was a joke😹 I’m so excited to be wrong!
Tim Robinson wins the
#Emmy
for Outstanding Actor in a Short Form Comedy or Drama Series for I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (
@Netflix
)! 🌟
#Emmys
#Emmys2022
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If I had to get a sheet cake made I’d get this printed on it
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My aunt died in her sleep last night. She was a lovely person and I loved her very much and I’ll miss her but she was suffering and I’m glad she’s not anymore. But my uncle. He lost both his identical twin daughters that he spent so much time with and now his wife in the span of
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Where’s the most iconic place you’ve had diarrhea? I’m seriously asking
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Umm they did
They should make a version of men that is appealing to women
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When I said that thing about sex being gross someone QTed me saying that was like thinking eating and sleeping were gross and the truth is I do think eating is gross
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There are some peoples boobs, I like, really want to see
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I don’t like that there’s a hottest *bald* guy like they’re a lower tier of men, rude and wrong
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You ever try out a sex position that was awesome in your head and it just doesn’t work?
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@classiclib3ral
@inihelene
I found the original original and it’s even worse than he could’ve imagined.
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@Lennyjacobson
@chrissyteigen
I love it when he says something like "That's true!" after reading a line. He's clearly reading it for the first time and, buddy, it's good.
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Girl who keeps blowing into the penis while giving head. She asks “Is this thing on?”
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One time I undressed in front of a salesperson at a fancy boutique because I thought he was gay and then he gave me his number when I went to check out
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I called my 4 year old nephew a corn cob at dinner (we were having corn on the cob) and he spent a great deal of time shrieking that he was not a corn cob and I was laughing too hard to explain that that made him even more of one
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@leegaizak
@VicBergerIV
@Gavin_McInnes
Someone who accepts government funding in any way should probably stay quiet about poor children getting lunch from the government.
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We said goodbye to our sweet girl. I’m so heartbroken I don’t even feel human anymore.
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@UweBollocks
I feel like he means “will we get to see the suck each other off” and I feel like the answer is clearly not at that pay bracket
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Ann-Margret, Carnal Knowledge or Jane Fonda, Spirits of the Dead
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