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Keith Platt Profile
Keith Platt

@KeithPlatt

Followers
217
Following
628
Media
344
Statuses
2K

Widowed five year ago when my dear Sandra got hit by a shopping trolley in Morrisons car park. Now doing stand up. Leeds, Leeds, Leeds! #MOT #ALAW

Joined July 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 months
"The industry claimed it was taking steps to self-regulate and reduce advertising, but yet again they have not kept to their word." @MPIainDS Only surprise is that you are surprised. I can't decide if you're naive or willfully ignorant. There's no reason to self regulate.
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 months
Jesus christ how long and drawn out is that @santanderuk advert with the Geordie chuckleheads. Painfully cringe, kids TV bad 😖
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
4 months
The only thing worse than being a victim of crime is trying to report it to @metpoliceuk Not interested. What an absolute failure to your citizens you really are. Waits for chat bot reply... Wait for it... 🙄
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@TalkingBollockz
TalkingBollocks
8 months
The Official Motörhead Podcast The Motörcast is available in all podcast players♠️😇♠️ https://t.co/VxBKG7Rxv0 #motorhead #themotorcast #motorcast
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
11 months
Real shame as @tamworthfc should now be having a replay @SpursOfficial and much needed revenue but @FA decided to devalue their own competition to benefit, at most, 8 clubs. Guardians of the game my arse 😂😂
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@downstairskhead
Downstairs at the KIng's Head
2 years
COMEDY this week Thu 2/5 Try Out Night with @KeithPlatt And on Saturday 4/5, @charmianhughes hosts @callybeaton @Otiz_Cannelloni @QuincyComedian @LouieGreen88 @MDurchov Hope to see you there. Cheaper in advance. Book soon as shows sell out https://t.co/psJhxYeJO7
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@downstairskhead
Downstairs at the KIng's Head
2 years
COMEDY this week Thu 2/5 Try Out Night with @KeithPlatt And on Saturday 4/5, WINDSOR hosts @callybeaton @Otiz_Cannelloni @QuincyComedian @LouieGreen88 @MDurchov Hope to see you there. Cheaper in advance. Book soon as shows sell out https://t.co/psJhxYeJO7
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Watched the latest @jimmycarr special. It's not so much the jokes that I dislike it's the casting. The bloke who plays Jimmy Carr is so wooden and insincere none of it rings true. Surely they could get somebody better?
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Truth!
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Just gone to post a pair of earrings. Would have been a first class stamp. Because of "the bump" of the envelope. Cost me £1.95. Our @PostOffice is an absolute disgrace. A little bit of competition and they persecute the customers that still use them. Pathetic. @RoyalMailHelp
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@downstairskhead
Downstairs at the KIng's Head
2 years
COMEDY this week Thu 25/1 Try Out Night with @keithplatt Saturday 27/1, @charmianhughes hosts @Thephilellis @RollingComedian @julietmeyers TIM CLARK + RICK RIGHT Hope to see you there. Cheaper in advance. Book soon as shows sell out https://t.co/psJhxYeJO7
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
That is bang out of order! What a shameful way to do business.
@TalkingBollockz
TalkingBollocks
2 years
Apologies for ads appearing on my podcast. My hosting company @podbeancom opted me into their ad programme without my knowledge or consent. First I knew was hearing an advert on my podcast 10 mins ago. I have turned the feature off and will be leaving their platform.
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Very sad to hear about the passing of Shane MacGowan RIP #shanemacgowan
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Dear Everton Fans. It's called financial doping, you were found guilty. Are you new to football? Have you not heard of points deductions? Tke your medicine and shut the fuck up. You're not the first, you won't be the last and you are not special #Everton
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Seeing as how that Twat Musk is trending.....never forget!
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
So sorry to hear all your stories! Good L CK everyone cos @facebook ain't helping.
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Well @Morrisons have dropped the ball. Managed to make one half decent mince pie out of two. If puff pastry with a memory of mince is your thing you'll like these. Maybe head somewhere else for your Xmas ones though, don't want the family thinking you're tight!
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
He's got 99 problems and a pitch ain't one......
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@KeithPlatt
Keith Platt
2 years
Only a matter of time before this lot showed their true colours. Dolphin cunts.
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