Jimmy Carr
@jimmycarr
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My new special Natural Born Killer is out now on @NetflixIsAJoke . Get tour tickets and more here 👇
Joined October 2008
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Last Seen Profiles
Brutal news about Sean Lock today.
I loved him. I’m watching clips of him right now - laughing & crying. I’ll miss him so much.
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I'm going to keep it classy. It would be ‘morally wrong’ and ‘hypocrytical’ to comment on another individual’s tax affairs.
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Spoiler Alert: Sports Personality of the Year: Emma Raducanu
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I can’t find the words but this says it - Warren Zevon - Keep Me In Your Heart via
@YouTube
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Emma Raducanu - 20 straight sets. What a performance?
What a legend?
The game I love played beautifully. I think it’s ok I shed a tear. Congratulations Emma & also well done on those A Levels
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I put my American audience to the test with a selection of my darkest jokes...
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I’m with Sandi
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Whenever the Prime Minister mentions me in Parliament why is it always about tax? He never mentions the 'Best of Tour' or Netflix Special?
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By popular demand - I’m hoping to give everyone Goosebumps.
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The Hollywood Bowl show with the legendary Dave Chappelle was crazy. Just happy everyone’s ok.
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Not only a world renowned physicist & all round genius he also had a wicked sense of humour. Farewell my friend. My thoughts today are with his beautiful family & incredible support team.
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Veteran stand-up comedian Ian Cognito has died on-stage - literally. The audience thought it was part of the act. Died with his boots on. That’s commitment to comedy. I’ll never forget his kindness when I started out & how god damn funny he was.
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Did a show with the legendary
@billburr
last night. I’ve got to say the
@NetflixIsAJoke
festival is really delivering.
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At the Singapore Grand Prix - looks like Mercedes have a new driver.
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I’ve just cried laughing watching again
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Thoroughly enjoy having my ass handed to me by some very funny guests
.
@jimmycarr
's insults are legendary. But some guests have had enough...
#CatsDoesCountdown
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A bit bittersweet doing gigs in Australia this evening, Barry Humphries has passed and no one will ever be as good at crowd work again.
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I'm not saying I rescued her from a burning building or anything
@The_Blue_Cross
let me adopt her.
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If I could invest in anything right now: maternity wards & divorce courts.
People be fucking & fighting.
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Went to see
#IAmBolt
last night. They say never meet your hero's -but I think Usain handled it pretty well
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I’m in New Zealand. First gig of the tour is in New Plymouth, which is frankly no improvement on the original.
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So far this year:
82 flights, 99 shows,
3 continents (2 of them twice)
8 countries, 68 cities. I’ve got a carbon footprint like a fracking Wookie.
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Skegness - where a go on the fruit machine is one of your 5 a day.
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Another 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown compilation airs at 9pm on C4 tonight. God I miss Sean.
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I’m back with
@susie_dent
and
@RachelRileyRR
for all new 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Tonight at 9pm on
@Channel4
.
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This guy is a boss. Jeselnik doesn’t fuck around. Check out his new Netflix special. So damn good.
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I’m in St. John’s, Newfoundland - they’re telling me they’re not Irish, but that’s definitely not a Canadian accent.
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On C4 News Jon Snow predicted a hung parliament this time yesterday - you know nothing Jon Snow. (Finally a reason for me to say that)
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My brand new special, The Best Of, Ultimate, Gold, Greatest Hits, lands on
@NetflixIsAJoke
on March 12th.
#UltimateGoldGreatestHits
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It feels like those days between Christmas & New Year - but they refuse to end.
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I’m in Canberra for two shows tonight. I’m not entirely sure what type of tourists they’re trying to attract.
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Whenever I see Gino D’Acampo cooking on TV I think, ‘I could murder an Italian.’
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I’m in Yarm, the posh bit of Middlesbrough. (So not Middlesbrough then)
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Thanks to everyone that came out for a laugh in Australia and New Zealand. 32 cities, 38 venues, 117 shows. Strewth!
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If Sepp Blatter's staying I wouldn't be surprised if the next World Cup was held in Islamic State. (& I bet we're in the group of death)
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I’m in Haugesund 🇳🇴 birthplace of Marilyn Monroe’s dad. If your city has a weaker claim to fame, let me know.
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They say never meet your heroes but I think
@andy_murray
handled it really well:
@JaguarUK
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I’m in Norwich. Working at the Norfolk Family History Society must be the easiest job in the world. Everyone here is related.
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What a great day out - & the right result. AMG OMG.
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I miss my friend today. Looking forward to reading a scathing review of the food in Heaven.
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Glorious day in Wellington, where it’s always sunny and never windy.
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So excited for tomorrow. There's been some quality pumpkin carving action at mine.
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Legend says if a virgin marries in this church, it's spire will straighten out again...that's never going to happen in Chesterfield!
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I'm having a fantastic time on tour in Australia - I'm avoiding winter & the locals here are super friendly.
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My new special, The Best Of, Ultimate, Gold, Greatest Hits, is now streaming on
@NetflixIsAJoke
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I’m in Dublin for three nights, recording my Netflix special at the Olympia Theatre.
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Family reunion
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I’ve been performing in Limerick this weekend. Check out this stone on top of another stone...if you know of a shittier monument please get in touch.
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I’m at the Engine Shed in Lincoln this evening. This is High Bridge, the oldest bridge in the UK with buildings on it and the boat passage below it is called ‘The Glory Hole’. I imagine there’s been some very disappointed visitors here over the years.
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What if the scientists have got it wrong and you can catch Coronavirus from eating pizza, whilst watching Netflix, in your pants?
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I’ve got a new DVD - not one I’m in one I’ve bought - it’s by my mate Rhod Gilbert and it’s bloody funny. (if you’ve got technology from 10 years ago knocking around the house get the DVD - if not download it like a normal person)
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I was late for my audition as a motorcycle stunt rider - so I jumped the queue.
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I’m at the State Theatre in Sydney. I’ve got to say I’m loving these Kiwi audiences.
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I had such fun doing stand up on
@jimmyfallon
- even snuck a photo behind the desk. Check it out tonight.
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It’s often been noted there’s a c**t in Scunthorpe, and tonight it’s me.
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I’m in Crewe, the home of ice cream vans. They’ve got 99 problems.
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New series of 8 Out Of 10 Cats starts on More4 tonight at 10pm. New series, new channel, new team captains. Same old host though, thank god
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Beat the January blues with my new Netflix Special.
Jimmy Carr: His Dark Material
Watch now:
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It’s another brand new episode of 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown tonight, with Sean Lock,
@michelleisawolf
,
@RonJichardson
and
@robbeckettcomic
. 9pm on
@Channel4
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I’m at the Engine Shed in Lincoln this evening. The great thing about Lincoln is you never run out of things to do...because there’s nothing to do.
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New Zealand I love you but I really feel you missed a trick not voting for this new flag
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“Festival” the new film by the team behind The Inbetweeners is puerile, outrageous & offensive - well that’s what I liked about it anyway.
Bloody funny stuff - go & see it
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You meet the nicest people at David Tangs in Hong Kong. I met
@JustinTrudeau
/ a Disney Prince
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I’m at the Winter Gardens in Blackpool. It’s the British Las Vegas, only what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and what happens in Blackpool will require antibiotics.
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I’m in Whanganui for two shows, which I think means the entire town’s population is coming to see me…twice.
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