Whoever has given the child next door a recorder is going to burn in hell for eternity.

RT @ShootaCat:

RT @melllyblanco: Please don't ask me about my day if you don't want to hear it. Lmfao, I no longer lie. I’m doing terrible, and let me tel….

Got ID'd for paracetamol. What a glorious day. I am the epitome of youth ✨.

Thank you Gmail for just randomly sending me this push notification over 2 years late. Can't believe I've missed out on the 1p kitkats, gutted.

I am SO thrilled for this she is perfecttttt.

I've never been so happy to have to change almost everything on my countdown timer widget 😭🥹.

I'm not saying that living in Yorkshire is such a stereotype, but today's bus driver is wearing a flat cap and just called off to a pie shop mid route.

Spent a strong 5 minutes looking for my phone . by using the torch on my phone. And yet society expects me to hold down a job.

Me going "omggg this playlist is fire" everytime I open up the group chats Spotify blend.

RT @sonohoor: the sexual tension between me and the alternate reality i daydream about.

RT @ADHDForReal:

My favourite hobby is taking a bottle of water up to bed with me every night and then returning it back to the fridge in the morning with not even a sip missing.

I also lowkey regret that I promised never to post the dumb photostrip pics because they're precious 🥹✨.

Ahhh 2019 I miss you. Spent the day with penguins, and the evening with my fave (being told koala facts and then accidentally pulling the EXACT same dumb faces for a photo booth strip)

RT @MeekyBlinders: it's national girlfriend day tomorrow if anyone wants to shoot me in the head with a gun 👉👈.

I've only tried the lemon and lime so far but do you have ANY idea how excited I am to be able to have lemonade again??.

I finally found a brand of soda that doesn't use artificial sweeteners and in my excitement to try them all, I have accidentally turned my fridge into a small corner shop

I feel seen.

RT @MrLovenstein: silly mood