IZEMBA
@KapitaIzemba
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404
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Statuses
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JIN JIN JIN
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恋人の日
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*our
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Why is a prisoner getting on a minibus??? Zambia is a funny country 😭
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Klopp: Sir Frank Lampard I want Manchester City to give us the guard of honor
Sir Frank Lampard: say less
#CHEMCI
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“How do you know that I watch Hannah Montana”
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I’ve seen this debate so let’s hear it in a Zambian context - please provide reasons for your answer:
Is K250,000 life-changing money? 💰
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If you’re 26+ just go mingle with your friends at Granddaddy’s.
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Ole: bro you know I can't lose this match I really need my job
Lampard: Say no more fam
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If you didn’t buy her the dress for the date I don’t think you should complain 😂
You invite her on a date and she comes dressed like this 😑
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Real ones remember.
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Nobody:
Zambians when they buy a new phone: “resend your last texts”
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Busy shouting “Alebwelelapo” but your father hasn’t been home in ten years, you want the wrong person to come back!
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If a woman got me all three kits the thing under my tongue would be swollen.
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Does it have muffler?
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A real man knows how many eggs are in this one!
If your boyfriend doesn’t know how many eggs 🥚 break up with that princess 👸
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Presidential candidates : at least I got a vote
Fred Membe: you guys are getting votes?
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Let’s remove your muff.
I told myself I would get a HILUX before I turn 30 and I have done just that 🚘 👑😊 say hello to the love of my life!!! My Brand new LEGEND 50🚘🔥 I want to thank God for his never ending grace and thank myself for putting in the work 💯
What God cannot do does not exist 🙏😊
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I remember when my mom once set me on fire.
This the type of beating some of us grew up with that kept us in shape.
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Posting your boyfriend when you know that I’m in love with you is insane.
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Meet sully
40 year old drug dealer
No Moncler jacket
No Rolex
Zero bitches
Bullies kids
Talks to animals
No sauce at all.
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When the corona virus came in contact with Gary Nkombo it had to quarantine for 14 days
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Chanda na Kay>>>>> Drake & Future
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My pie
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My favorite account
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Three words better than I love you this December
" we are outside"
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We are here to collect the Land Cruiser VX V8 that’s parked outside
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You need to do some things when you’re young, you can’t be 28 and telling your barber to give you a mawhawk.
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A father should be added to this list
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Ohns in Lusaka cheat hmmm😂😂😂💀these snaps we see on Twitter are just for show🤣
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When they give you three fries🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
When they don’t eat dunked wings 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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You’re rating the people that get your “handsome” boyfriend doped in the club 😭
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Damson Idris waking up in his hotel room after getting a suit on credit from luapula
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Sneaky link ati “tell my my mother in-law happy Mother’s Day” ulishilu?
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Hmm you can get on canter thinking that you are going for celebrations kanshi they are going to sacrifice you💀
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You are part of the Twitter census committee?
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Me wearing the dress that I got her because I found out that she was cheating
A cheaters space the day before valentines? No? I think that would save a lot of people from wasting their money.
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Nah if you know the Capones Dj personally please tell him to change his playlist
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Squad depth
If you have your eye on someone else leave…! tf you keeping me around for 🥷🏾.
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A$AP Rocky wakes up next to Rihanna every morning??? Fuck that guy
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Don’t, you’ll find your stories on her close friends.
Dear men, please vent to women. They do Care❤️
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This is why fighting is insane, someone from Mandevu will just come ruin your 500 kwacha shirt from Markham
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Pulled up in a Durag and studs, the first thing I heard from these old heads was “kansi ma yo bama voter”
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After jamming soccer from 14 to 18hrs
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“Safuna kudya uyo? Nsima yake mupase ma imbwa “
Heartbreak in an African home? They will just shout at you for not eating 😭
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Never heard anyone say “play some Nipsey”
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Parents: “go back where you came from”
Me: can I get my voters card first?
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This has Marty Byrde written all over it.
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