JH
@JustineMulliga
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⚖️ Trainee Solicitor. 🎤 Stand up comedian, I guess. Sometimes I do bits on the telly and voice overs 🎥 also a TRYer on @thetrychannel
Dublin City, Ireland
Joined June 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I’ll never forget the time a customer in work asked me what tan I was wearing, and when I replied ‘Bondi Sands’ she looked at me in horror and said ‘why would you name a tan after a hunger striker’ ....
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Yesterday I read a story about a woman whose parachute failed to open on a skydive… she miraculously survived after hitting the ground at 100 m/ph … only to discover it was her husbands SECOND ATTEMPT AT MURDERING HER.
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I truly don’t understand how the government spends our tax money. That referendum cost €23million… HOW? Like on what? Do the people counting the votes even get paid? Like I want a breakdown:- how did it cost that much???
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There’s still one tradition I’m looking forward to. ‘Let’s guess who’s fella is a drug dealer by the gift hauls the girlos post on their insta stories’ ...
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Met a guy from London in the beach club tonight .. told him I went to studio 338 in November and he responded TREE TREE EIGHT, mocking my accent. I immediately turned my back and chatted to the lovely Irish family on the other side of me. F*ck off with that shit.
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I AM SOBBING AT MY DESK! I’VE JUST PASSED MY FINAL FE1 EXAMS!!!!!!! 😭💃🏻🥳
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👋🏻😊 Hello everyone. Please read the below, it’s very important. 💕
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I once targeted the most popular girl in school by giving her foot cream for her face, cutting two holes in her top, giving her weight gain bars when she was trying to lose 3lbs, shifting her fella at a party and telling her friends the stuff she said behind their back.
What's the pettiest thing you have ever done? I'll start.
Friend of a friend would bring a specific snack to every event/gathering/whatever. She would make a MASSIVE deal about how this was her SIGNATURE recipe & she would NEVER share it, regardless of whether anyone asked. 1/
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It’s taken 3 and half years of therapy... but I think I’m on the cusp of beginning to.. dare I say it, like myself? & treat myself with a bit of compassion?.... I’m not 100% there but I catch myself fighting off the negative self talk and that’s something ❤️ Happy Friday x
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Tommy & Curtis are going on like they’re standing in the kitchen of an afters, at 7am on the rollover.
#LoveIsland
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I’m proud of myself because I’ve had a relapse with my OCD the last few months and I still persevered and sat the exam today. It was a bit shite, but I didn’t walk out and let the anxiety win! Me- 1 OCD-0.
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Have been working the last 9 days straight on a case, one that started 6 years ago... finally off to court with it today!
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It’s infuriating watching huge chunks be taken from your pay cheque every month and seeing it pissed up against the wall like this. I’d have no issue if it was being put to good use:- schools, hungry children & families, hospitals, elderly people. But a printer????
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@JoeBarton_
Once in Ibiza we had a microwave where the numbers were written ‘1,2, popcorn, 4’ 😂😂
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Just paid for a Thai woman to beat the shit out of me... she tipped my nose and told me it was beautiful and then gave me a tap on the bum on the way out ...... it was lovely.
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Ya girl got her Professional Diploma in Legal Practice yesterday 🥰💅🏻
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I also want to know where that extortionately priced printer for the dáil went .. the one that cost over a million and didn’t even fit in the building .. did we get a refund for that? Or is it left rotting in a corner not having printed a single page?
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For my birthday, my Mam handed me a USB with loads of family videos from when I was a baby. There’s videos of me & my Dad and I’ve heard his voice for the first time in nearly 8 years .. bawling 😩❤️
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My two friends were busy today so I’ve sat in the house on my own all of today & yesterday and I am depressed out of my mind. I guess that’s what happens when you’re in ur early 30s, there’s a housing crisis and all of your friends have left the country.
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My exam results are out today, so I made an effort for work, because there is nothing worse than being a failure AND feeling ugly.
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Had tapes developed that my Dad filmed in 1997 when he toured America with the Commitments. Watching them & he comments throughout it as the video was to show me when I was old enough! I’m bawling hearing his voice again... would love to have him back for 5 minutes! ❤️
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My New Years Resolution was to wear clothes in my wardrobe that I bought thinking they were cool and then never had the guts to wear. So here we have; this dress.
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My boss just told me that because I’ve ‘put in a mountain of work’ on a particular case for a client, that he rang his brother in law who owns the Galgorm Resort & Spa to give me a spa weekend as a treat and to say thank you 😍.. Chuffed with my little self 🙌🏻
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Hello, I am a 27 year old adult and today I had a sandwich for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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It should be illegal to try and blow dry your hair in this weather 🤢 half a wet head going out ..
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It was so lovely to get dolled up for the first time in yonnnnnks! 🥰
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I PASSED ALL OF MY BLACKHALL EXAMS!! The last professional exams I’ll ever sit …. I’m nearly sobbing at my desk omg 😭❤️
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Not how I planned me Sunday night …. A fall in my sitting room and a lovely fully dislocated shoulder … they have me loads of drugs and popped it back into place … WHAT A FUCKING WEEK!!!!!
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My favourite thing is going on dates with men and seeing the spark disappear from their eyes and the colour drain from their cheeks as they realise I am funnier than them. Xox
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We’re seeing clients this week for the first time since March, so I made a bit more of an effort.
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Just hopped on the wrong bus, the bus man says to me ‘stay on this I’ll chase that bus up the quays and you might be able to catch him’ ... so cute and I caught the bus I was supposed to get 🥰
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As I’m ironing my clothes for the office tomorrow, I had a thought that 18 year old Justine would be so proud of 28 year old me, toddling into my legal job, 4 FE1s in the bag.. I’m not where I want to be yet, but small victories and all that 🤗 v.grateful.
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So…. Today I got accepted into Bow Street acting academy. Starting screen acting next week!! 🥰
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Ya girl just got confirmation that she now has THREE FE1s IN THE BAG! ... 5 more to go and I’m well on the way to being a solicitor 💃🏻
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I have arrived safe and sound in Bali! I had a cry on the flight to Dubai thinking ‘what the fuck am I doing just legging it to Indonesia on my own to deal with my problems’… but now that I’ve arrived I am so f*cking proud of myself.
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Annnnnd I’m out of here ✈️ the last few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions and I can’t wait to start this healing journey in Bali. Lots of yoga, meditation & cleansing 🧘🏻♀️
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GUESS WHO PASSED MORE FE1s TODAY!!!!!!! 🥳🥰 THE RELIEF!!! Where is the wine??!!
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@valerieloftus
Last year on the Sunday I was HANGING so walked through the campsite wearing Thailand ‘I found myself’ pants and an Abercrombie hoodie. Some 18 yr old nodded ‘alri Garda’ at me.. and honestly I didn’t blame him.
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Out for dinner with C tonight, for our one year anniversary and I have never been more grateful for boob tape 🤗
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Took this selfie in the car yesterday on the normal camera and not insta/snap and it flipped it the opposite way and now my heads wrecked because I know this is what I actually look like to other people and not the reverse image?....
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Due to copyright reasons the music won’t load on this ....lolllllllll
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Starting my new job today, really looking forward to it and there’s pancakes in the office and a great opportunity to meet the whole team... have a tiny bit of a scratchy throat so take an antigen just in case ...
2 years I’ve dodged this thing and the day I’m due to start 🙃
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Sorry...... I won a competition in Brown Thomas and I’m just casually on my way in to pick out a pair of Jimmy Choo’s worth a grand .... I CANNOT COPE RIGHT NOW
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Really struggling this week emotionally, I have no parental figure/ support and feel as if I have to figure this whole life thing out alone.
I’m genuinely so grateful that I have found a therapist who I am comfortable to talk to and can also afford to attend every few weeks. ❤️
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I CAN GO TO MY MAMS!!! 😭❤️
So, my bf has covid. I’m a close contact, meaning I can’t go to my mam’s and I’m not confirmed positive so can’t see him. So will be isolating in the flat on my own for Xmas 😭...
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I’m gonna be single for the rest of my days. I’ll be that rich lawyer aunt at dinner parties who swears too much and rocks home in designer heels. And honestly ... I’m beginning to be at peace with it.
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Oh my god I just realised ....
My dad was in a wedding band ...
My mam designs and sells wedding dresses ...
I do divorces.
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I deleted my Instagram last week and it’s causing me to be so introspective. Who am I posting for? Why am I posting? No one cares that I grabbed a coffee in a new place?... it’s all mad. It feels very liberating without the pressure of it.
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Also... sorry. I treated myself to new Alexander McQueen glasses a few weeks ago and they were finally ready on Thursday, and I’m OBSESSED.
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I started grief therapy last week, (almost 10 years after losing my dad) .. walked into the room & there were 2 seats and she says that seats for you.. And that ones for your Dad 🥺
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Some buzz seeing results from eating well & the gym! Also drastically cutting down alcohol (I drink about once a month) compared to 3x a week before!
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I’m going to a pool party so naturally I’m wearing a bikini and high heels... I’m self conscious as fuck, but also feel almost confident?.... nudity & heels are a powerful combination!
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Just had my last therapy session of 2019. I was reluctant to go because it started at 7:30am and I felt I didn’t ‘need it’ .... ohhhh did I need it and feel SO MUCH better for it, like a weight has been lifted ... happy Christmas folks ❤️
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Instead of dry January, I’m gonna be doing cry January. Where I just cry, until severely dehydrated, everyday. Who’s in?
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If we all have to self isolate, I don’t have a telly in my gaff.... so there’ll probably be a load of ‘self isolating together’ sex... anyway, if you see me in 9 months with a baby called Ronie say nothing.
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@sobrickaey
Respectfully, I didn’t say I cracked something, nor was I trying to. €23mill is a huge amount of money and I was genuinely wondering how it’s spent. Also ‘venue rental’ most of the polling stations are local schools, they’re not booking out the Aviva? 🤦🏻♀️
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If this this Prince William stuff is true, Rose Hanbury wanna start double checking all her seat belts.
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Didn’t get the glasses but did get some fab gym gear and now I’m dying to get back into it!
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I really struggled through this weekend. I’m finding being single so tough particularly this time of year, and all of my girlfriends are out of the country. I don’t think I’ve stopped crying since yesterday. I’m all over the shop.
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I drank two and half bottles of Prosecco and rolled in the door at 7:30am.... still took my makeup up off.
Sorry that is QUEEN BEHAVIOUR.
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Off out...Gonna pretend I’m Not sweating my hoop off in these leather trousers 😅
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