John Henson
@John_Henson
Followers
30,853
Following
2,116
Media
669
Statuses
28,754
Host of Food Network's Halloween Baking Championship, ABC's Wipeout, E!'s Talk Soup & a couple other shows no one watched. Stand up comic. Die hard Knicks fan.
Los Angeles, CA.
Joined April 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Arsenal
• 474018 Tweets
Flamengo
• 150797 Tweets
Spurs
• 124430 Tweets
Tottenham
• 124319 Tweets
Forest
• 106104 Tweets
Botafogo
• 81822 Tweets
Raya
• 66683 Tweets
North London
• 63769 Tweets
melanie
• 46925 Tweets
Lite
• 45520 Tweets
O Tite
• 28873 Tweets
ارسنال
• 25925 Tweets
De La Cruz
• 25399 Tweets
Ange
• 25348 Tweets
D-8 to BLOSSOM
• 24694 Tweets
Maracanã
• 24220 Tweets
Göztepe
• 16949 Tweets
Gabigol
• 15979 Tweets
توتنهام
• 15044 Tweets
Arrascaeta
• 13933 Tweets
Brest
• 12400 Tweets
Gazzede SoykırımıDurdurun
• 11729 Tweets
Duhamel
• 10072 Tweets
This is the whitest shit I have ever seen. And I grew up in Connecticut.
34K
13K
55K
4K
4K
54K
5,460.
That’s how many children this administration took from their families. 5,460. With no plan, and seemingly no intention, of reuniting them.
What a horror. It’s unthinkable.
Only now do we understand the true cruelty of Trump’s family separation
744
12K
22K
Who would have ever thought that a pathologically dishonest, egomaniacal, trust fund baby with 6 bankruptcies, a fake tan, a horrific combover, a long history of racism and a sexual fixation on his daughter would be a bad President?
297
3K
15K
Dear Republicans,
PLEASE understand...
It’s possible to be a patriotic pro-life, pro-2nd amendment, pro-immigration reform, pro-Jesus, pro-military, pro-working class American...
And NOT be pro-Trump.
Try it.
204
2K
10K
I know everyone is wringing their hands over
@realDonaldTrump
ruining the economy... but don’t forget he’s also ruining the planet.
137
4K
10K
.
@GOP
claims to love:
1) freedom...but wants to seize private land for the wall
2) religious liberty...but banned Muslims
3) family values...but put kids in cages
4) fiscal responsibility...but exploded the deficit
5) law & order... but defies supeonas & congress oversight
173
4K
9K
It’s not surprising that people who spent the 4 years being bad winners are even worse losers.
50
607
9K
Somewhere, Sean Spicer is screaming “BIGGEST CROWD EVER” into his pillow.
170
1K
5K
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“Yeah, uh... CNN just killed Kirstie Alley.”
101
652
5K
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“I’d like to report a murder...”
60
489
4K
Tell me more about the threat from the “radical left” we’re supposed to be afraid of...
This video was taken yesterday on I-35 outside of Austin.
“Law and order,” indeed.
2K
4K
8K
167
958
4K
He uploaded it to the cloud.
89
589
4K
Did Trump know about Russian interference on his behalf?
Yes.
Did Trump utilize that interference?
Yes.
Did Trump lie about financial ties to Russia?
Yes.
Was he at risk of blackmail as a result of those lies?
Yes.
@GOP
: SEE?!? What did we tell you? He did nothing wrong.
78
1K
4K
So we’re all clear...
THE PRESIDENT ADMITTED TO MISUSING CHARITABLE DONATIONS!
**$2 MILLION IN DAMAGES**
A NY judge has ordered
@realdonaldtrump
to pay $2 million in damages, for misusing a charity's money.
An extraordinary punishment for a sitting president -- and the end of an extraordinary story, which you all helped reveal....
332
4K
11K
48
867
3K
He also had 5 affairs, including staffers and lobbyists, paid for them with campaign funds and then blamed his wife for his “campaign finance issues.”
Rep. Duncan Hunter now has five attorneys on his legal defense team.
He continues to serve in Congress despite a 60 count indictment of fraud, conspiracy, and campaign finance crimes.
350
4K
5K
67
1K
3K
POTUS reportedly not concerned about contracting COVID again, as he’s been isolating from Don JR for 42 years.
46
266
3K
HEY DUMBASS... armed men without masks taking over the state capital didn’t fix the pandemic, but I didn’t see you bitching about it.
Yeah stealing TVs and everything else from Target and setting AutoZone on fire is sure gonna fix the problem. You got it. Just what the country recovering from economic collapse needs right now.
3K
548
4K
55
297
3K
Remember March 9th... when
@mattgaetz
wore a gas mask on the House floor because he thought it was “funny.”
That was before 115,000 Americans died.
51
685
3K
Donald Trump JR just tested positive for a Democratic hoax.
71
282
3K
Can you post the verse about God loving billionaires who use a pandemic to enrich themselves while refusing the help the poor?
Thanks in advance.
Isiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
9K
287
2K
37
304
3K
If you’re not fit to tweet... you’re not fit to be President.
24
283
3K
Hey
@realDonaldTrump
, you might want to check out
@BuzzFeed
. You’re f*cked.
Have a great night!
83
331
2K
I know a lot happened today... but please don’t lose sight of the fact that Giuliani thought Game of Thrones was a documentary.
51
328
2K
REMINDER: The same people who were OUTRAGED over being asked to wear masks cannot understand the anger behind the protests.
27
433
2K
Alcoholic junior college English professor who left his wife for a student because she liked his poetry.
206
159
2K
REMINDER: for every time we see something like this... there are countless times we don’t.
Peaceful protest in East Meadow, NY (Long Island):
An officer abruptly stops so the protestor walking behind him bumps into the cop.
Then the man is violently arrested.
Bystanders: “they kneeled on his neck & had about 6 officers holding him down.”
8K
49K
81K
91
905
2K
There are ppl who ride scooters around Walmart who think the ppl who walked thousands of miles to get here are “lazy.”
40
584
2K
There are 7 seas. 7 continents.
7 days of the week. 7 colors in the spectrum. 7 musical notes. 7 wonders of the world. 7 sins. 7 virtues.
And as of today, 7 years of sobriety for me.
For anyone who might be struggling… if I can do it, so can you.
112
48
2K
The same people who believe...
A) Barack Obama is a Kenyan born Muslim
B) the DNC hacked itself to frame Trump and Russia
C) the world is run by Satanic, cannibalistic pedophiles
... think the POTUS with the worst approval rating in history losing an election is “suspicious.”
27
311
2K
SARAH SANDERS MUST APOLOGIZE OR RESIGN!
White House shares doctored video to support punishment of journalist Jim Acosta
811
3K
4K
130
532
2K
Is now a good time to remind Republicans that they blocked 3 separate election security bills?
29
479
2K
My memory is a little fuzzy...
Were any cops beaten to death when Bill Clinton got a blowjob in the Oval Office?
82
337
2K
I don’t know if you read the news...but that’s not what you should be worrying about.
The NFL National Anthem Debate is alive and well again - can’t believe it! Isn’t it in contract that players must stand at attention, hand on heart? The $40,000,000 Commissioner must now make a stand. First time kneeling, out for game. Second time kneeling, out for season/no pay!
73K
16K
78K
66
269
2K
.
@RexChapman
, I heard a great quote about Larry Bird.
Pat Riley once said “if I had to pick one player to take a shot to save a game, I’d pick Michael Jordan. If I had to pick one player to take a shot to save my life... I’d pick Larry Bird.”
18
288
2K
😂😂😂
Get used to it, Mitch. Every day… For the rest of your life. Everywhere you go.
#MoscowMitch
Protestors drowning out McConnell’s speech with chants of “Moscow Mitch” is the best cure for a case of the Monday’s.
#MoscowMitch
1K
10K
34K
35
507
2K
Saw “Lee Harvey Oswald” trending and just assumed Trump issued a posthumous pardon.
65
176
2K
You farted in court.
The claims that I asked for, or received, any compensation for a pardon for myself or anyone else is false, defamatory, and malicious.
4K
8K
42K
49
98
2K
.
@mattgaetz
should stick with what he’s good at... keg stands.
What on earth made Matt Gaetz think he could take on The Gentleman From Louisiana lmao?!🔥
7K
32K
141K
61
187
2K
Tami, I hate to break this to you... and you’re going to want to sit down for this...
@chrissyteigen
isn’t the President.
Filthy-mouthed
@chrissyteigen
calls our president the p-word and is celebrated. Typical double standard.
Wasn’t the Left crying and hysterical about the p-word a few years ago?
7K
3K
18K
53
209
2K
105k+ Americans dead.
40+ million Americans unemployed.
Civil unrest all over America.
And he has never stopped insulting people.
He has never stopped patting himself on the back.
He has never stopped focusing on how it affects him.
What do his supporters see in him?
173
414
2K
BREAKING: Sean Hannity accidentally reports the truth.
Hannity:
“I don’t vet the information on this program”.
And there you have it...
2K
4K
25K
27
220
2K
This is his superpower: bankrupting sh*t.
When President Trump has literally been shown data and charts by senior officials showing what year(s) the debt is expected to explode, Trump has referenced the first year & said “yeah, but I won’t be here.” That’s a direct quote
1K
16K
26K
28
405
2K
Be kind.
It costs nothing… but makes you feel rich beyond your wildest dreams.
19
152
2K
This reminds me of two VERY important things:
1) most of our “problems” are small by comparison.
2) the world is a beautiful place.
20
251
2K
Hey
@mattgaetz
, it’s great you have the free time to respond to my jokes on twitter...
But you *might* want to carve out time to study the COVID curve in Florida. It’s... you know, your job.
This dude has tweeted an astonishing 23x and counting about my looks.
Not my ideas, my looks.
Last guy to talk this much about my appearance was....
@realDonaldTrump
.
Joking about animal cruelty or rape isn’t funny, though. I’ve spent my public service career fighting both.
864
263
2K
32
159
2K
Please fuck yourself until further notice.
Sleepy Joe Biden was in charge of the H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic which killed thousands of people. The response was one of the worst on record. Our response is one of the best, with fast action of border closings & a 78% Approval Rating, the highest on record. His was lowest!
46K
18K
92K
52
204
1K
This must’ve been INCREDIBLY satisfying to shoot. It’s just perfect.
24
110
1K
Trump: You’re fired!
Berman: Nah bish.
Barr: This is a Friday Night Mass-
Berman: Fuck outta here.
Barr: Excuse me?
Berman: You’re excused.
Trump: Now what?
Barr: Well, we can try again Monday.
Berman: Monday you can try deez.
Trump: What’s deez?
Berman: Deez NUTS!
69
216
1K
I find it HIGHLY suspicious that voters facing financial hardship and a deadly plague would vote against a grotesquely offensive, impeached President who claims the economy is recovering and the virus is disappearing.
It just doesn’t add up.
24
138
1K
1.) To recap:
@POTUS
appears increasingly addled, has a tenuous grasp on reality, no grasp of history, lies compulsively, wants to amend the
67
611
1K
The
@GOP
: “There is a war on Christianity!“
Chaplin Conroy: “Jesus helped the poor.”
Paul Ryan: “Religion has no place in politics! You’re fired!”
16
348
1K
My eyes are raining.
31
193
1K
If
@Jim_Jordan
calls the whistleblower to testify during impeachment hearings, maybe democrats should call this Ref.
“I wish Jim & Russ...would stand up & do the right thing & admit they knew what Strauss was doing, because everybody knew what he was doing to the wrestlers. What was a shock to me is that Strauss...was breaking new ground by going after a ref.”
243
3K
7K
19
276
1K
The president is not welcome at the site of a tragedy.
Think about that.
22
367
1K
I’ve watched this 10 times and I still can’t believe it’s real.
Ernie DiGregorio — with arguably the most difficult, under duress, on the money, in stride, behind the back dime in the history of the game. Holy sh*t.🏀🤷♂️💪👁🔥
549
4K
15K
35
233
1K
Just found out
@GSAEmily
is facing questions by
@RepKatiePorter
today and I haven’t been this excited since I believed in Santa.
40
87
1K
Who wants to tell her?
Dana Perino: "It's as if, for comparison's sake, imagine that ExxonMobil was writing specific guidance on climate change issues and giving it to a Republican administration at the Department of Energy and they issued it."
433
472
3K
36
110
1K
Don’t forget to add on 11 BILLION DOLLARS for the cost of the longest government shutdown in history.
The one he said he was “proud of.”
Remind me - how much money did Trump’s stupid border wall cost American taxpayers?
1K
5K
22K
19
198
1K
This nut job needs to be expelled from Congress...
On Facebook in 2018, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene endorsed conspiracy theories that 9/11 was an inside job and that Sandy Hook was staged | Media Matters for America
52
280
1K
Also, Lindsey Graham is a gutless coward who is personally enabling and protecting the worst president in the history of our country.
Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham says he'll support President Trump for his 2020 re-election bid
518
95
109
73
320
1K
It took me 90 seconds to regret letting my 7 and 9 yr olds watch “Coming to America.”
151
15
1K
Lead the way, Glenn. Literally.
Glenn Beck says older Americans should return to work: “Even if we all get sick, I would rather die than kill the country”
7K
1K
3K
144
180
1K
Steve Bannon just suggested beheading Dr Fauci and FBI director Christopher Wray. So... that’s cool.
Hey, what were you guys saying about the “radical left” again?
39
212
1K
It takes a lot of guts to surround yourself with friends and attack a journalist who poses no threat at all.
A real portrait in courage.
When you say things like, “The media is the enemy of the people.” things like this happen.
A photographer was violently attacked yesterday in DC by Trump’s Proud Boys...
5K
10K
24K
59
157
1K
At today’s WH press conference, Trump didn’t take questions. Now they announce there will be no press briefing tomorrow.
Looks like someone’s upset about being called an idiot.
71
123
1K
So...
@Acosta
is “snarky?”
I’ve made my living being snarky for 25 years. That’s not snark. That’s directly and accurately quoting the President.
17
87
1K
Cool. Now say that every night for 18 months.
SEAN HANNITY: "Please take Covid seriously. I can't say it enough. Enough people have died. We don't need any more death. Research like crazy. Talk to your doctor... I believe in science. I believe in the science of vaccination."
5K
5K
17K
30
107
1K
Harder than making it through a DUI checkpoint?
You have no idea how hard the “kiln-fired” look is to nail.
469
305
4K
37
77
1K
Can anyone provide a single, rational explanation for
@FoxNews
anchors discouraging vaccinations… yet not sharing their own vaccine status?
100
81
1K
Ted... he called your wife ugly and said your dad killed JFK.
Take your tongue out of his ass.
Wow. Ongoing spying from an outgoing POTUS on the incoming POTUS—directed by Obama himself—is unprecedented in the 243 years of our nation’s history.
17K
16K
47K
32
122
1K
FACT: The same people cheering for this guy thought Colin Kaepernick taking a knee was “disrespectful.”
49
226
1K
Please watch and share.
This man jogged 2 miles through his neighborhood carrying a TV in his hands to prove that “looking like a suspect” who committed a robbery isn’t a good enough excuse for the murder of Ahmaud Arbery.
Neighbors waived hello to him as he jogged...
1K
34K
124K
24
333
1K
For the record, Nixon was at 65% approval when the impeachment inquiry began. It was the testimony that changed public opinion. So when the administration tells witnesses to ignore subpoenas and refuses to send documents, ask yourself why.
12
306
1K
I wonder whether a 25k daily fine would make a difference.
The White House has directed former Hope Hicks and Annie Donaldson not to turn over any documents to the House Judiciary Committee relating to their time at the WH, BUT Hicks still could turn over docs related to the campaign, w/
@PamelaBrownCNN
@mkraju
117
234
318
57
245
957
It was graceful. Majestic even. You move like a cat...
The ramp that I descended after my West Point Commencement speech was very long & steep, had no handrail and, most importantly, was very slippery. The last thing I was going to do is “fall” for the Fake News to have fun with. Final ten feet I ran down to level ground. Momentum!
106K
25K
193K
83
50
1K
“My party is ruined! RUINED!” (Runs up staircase in tears)
At the White House Christmas Party, guests were informed about 10 minutes ago that the president won't be joining them to make remarks.
12K
7K
76K
29
46
1K
I don’t know about YOU...but I want a self-aggrandizing President with a fragile ego who praises dictators, embraces racists, rejects science and shows a callous disregard for my own health.
And if he loses, you better DAMN well be sensitive to my feelings, you hateful radicals!
21
145
1K
Right now, as you read this,
@realDonaldTrump
is filled with dread, knowing that brick by brick, his world is crumbling. As a result of his greed, everything he values...his power, his money, his family and his freedom are all in jeopardy. And there’s NOTHING he can do about it.
220
145
958
You’re right. Now THIS 👇... this is funny!
This joke killed. About 115,000 Americans so far.
But go on... lecture me about humor.
This dude has tweeted an astonishing 23x and counting about my looks.
Not my ideas, my looks.
Last guy to talk this much about my appearance was....
@realDonaldTrump
.
Joking about animal cruelty or rape isn’t funny, though. I’ve spent my public service career fighting both.
864
263
2K
51
166
956
For years we’ve been saying he’s unqualified. That his divisiveness, cruelty and rage were bad for the country. That he isn’t equipped to handle a true crisis.
Now we have 3 crises: a pandemic, an economic crisis and civil unrest.
He’s failing us... just like we said he would.
18
185
977
THREAD
A partial list of Trump Supporter conflicting beliefs:
- I believe Trump didn’t collude and that Russian meddling in 2016 had no impact on an election decided by about 80k votes in 3 key states.
- I also believe Hillary and the Dems DID collude and should be prosecuted.
75
434
940
BREAKING: Congressman would rather argue with actors and comedians than address the spike in COVID cases in Florida.
Breaking: Liberal Hollywood Activist Trivializes Rape to Attack Author of Sexual Violence Legislation.
291
118
638
24
170
944
Congrats
@Delta
! Not only was my flight delayed for more than 4 hours, but I found out you rebooked me without informing me and the new flight has not only left… all my bags are on it!
BRAVO!
52
87
965
Fun fact: Jill Benjamin, the actress who plays Mimi Moon, is my wife in real life. Just ask our "son,"
@rossR5
.
@John_Henson
Austin & Ally ends tonight 👱🎸👧✏️🎶 I wanna say THANK YOU for being one of the reasons this show was a DELIGHT to watch 😄
4
98
251
21
388
943
Dear
@GSAEmily
,
No one gives a rat’s ass about your feelings. We just wanted you to do YOUR GODDAMN JOB!
It’s my sincere hope you will feel a lifetime of guilt for any suffering or death caused by your actions. Until then, I encourage you to jam your self-pity up your ass.
Thx
34
98
912