Trying to Drive To Long Island (Sopranos Intro Style) https://t.co/ZIvxzaqHYk

The Yankees right now.

I went apple picking today. Bought a handful at the supermarket. Took zero selfies. Love to be festive.

Just saw a Spirit Halloween with a permanent sign on it. The economy is so unbelievablely fucked.

How celebrities and comedians think people react to their political posts.

Pixar movie about all the different vaccine shots going on adventures together lauded by critics, despised by audiences.

I use AI for every internet search. Then I use another AI to explain the results to me. I am personally draining the power grid.

Trump plans to pardon Puff Daddy but not Diddy. First time this has ever happened.

Alternating between telling people I'm a pescatarian and equestrian when they ask about my political affiliation.

You can just call any movie a sequel these days. No one will even bother to check if it's true.

"And although we're technically out of business we will continue to fly." - Spirit Airlines

As well as the number one book, podcast and recipe. She does it all!

Staind was right like it has been a while

This is our baby, Reverend Reverse Uno Card. We call her "Susan" for short.

"Mention the butt fumble one more time I dare..." - Mark Sanchez while wandering around Indiana

Stand-up comedy is the perfect industry for people who repeatedly like to ask "Are you mad at me?"

Farmer's Almanac predicts snow this winter.

Nice of the Yankees to pitch Paul Blackburn in a blowout so it can feel like the Mets are in the postseason.

Need RFK to shut down bumper cars next because obviously there's a direct link between people riding them as kids and then getting in car accidents as adults.

Weird how all of Taylor Swift's new songs are about the intricacies of NFL football.

Hit one of my own posts with a Community Note just to feel something.