Just learned the official
@Lego
tiger includes an anus and I couldn't be more delighted. Maybe everything is going to be okay after all. Also, excellent re-purposing of what I think was a Lego flower piece.
BEWARE OF APRIL FOOLS COVID VACCINATIONS! I’m pretty sure I got taken in by this when a guy in a Chevy Cobalt injected me with what I now think was 45cc of Mountain Dew Code Red. My body feels like wicker and I can’t see anything with corners. BE CAREFUL
@MarciRobin
hi! I'm a Jalopnik writer--we write about cars. Could I ask you some questions about this? If you're actually a robot, that's fine, too. DM me?
@MollyJongFast
I like how she gives God her name at the end there. "It's me, Michelle Bachman, we met briefly that night I accidentally thought those Ambien were my vitamins."
Guess what:
@davidntracy
and
@BeauBoeckmann
and I are teaming up to start A WHOLE NEW CAR WEBSITE. I'm excited. And nervous. But excited. Here's what it's all about:
My ancestry is Ukrainian, from the town of Torchyn. I'm told they make ketchup there. I'm proud to have that ancestry. I hope this mess ends soon, with Ukraine victorious. (The car here is one of my favorite Urkrainian-built cars, a ZAZ-965.)
I tend to get a lot of feedback from hardcore Tesla fans, an automotive subgroup that I find fascinating. They're usually pretty belligerent to me, but even for them this comment was a standout. Now, I'm a Jew, with a grandfather that survived real progroms. This is, uh, oh boy:
Not too many places you can just see the world’s finest, most refined SUV just driving on the road. Too bad that Rolls-Royce Cullinan heap is in its way.
On the way home from the zoo, the Yugo decided that trouble-free operation felt too weird so the shift linkage vanished. I bodged up a fix with 2 hose clamps and a rock and we made it home.
@WholeMarsBlog
@elonmusk
Unrelated, I'm helping my kid with math homework and was wondering if you could check his work: 2>0? Is that correct? I'll just tell him, he's sitting still right next to me at 2mph. Or, he was? Huh.
The Minneapolis-St.Paul airport has some of the best urinals I’ve ever had the pleasure of soaking with urine. Real stalls, full-height walls with storage cubbies and hangars, a marble back wall to stare at and see shapes in whilst micturating— these are a urinator’s dream!
I think driving a really beat to shit Rolls-Royce would be a lot of fun. It sends such a wonderfully confusing message, or maybe hints at a bigger story.
Pao is almost done! The yellow fog lamps are hard to find, abd I’m really sick of hitting deer, so I got a bright LED light to replace the smashed fog. I kinda like the asymmetric look? Is it too weird?
I know I left before all this happened, but I'd like to remind everyone to support my talented former co-workers at Jalopnik during the strike. Don't go to any G-O media sites during the strike! Writers make those sites, so let's support them, and be sure they get treated right.
Some dude just walked into our house, thinking it was someone else’s. I came into our living room and he was just standing there, confused. I was pretty confused, too, and also pantless. I almost grabbed the Secret Hammer but thankfully explanations and apologies ended it. Weird
The idea that this for-profit company run by a billionaire is somehow a brutally oppressed group is just bonkers. Also, I’d like to mention that it was a pig that saved my grandfather from a Progrom as a little kid.
I’m on a press trip in Santa Fe and spotted this sweet unrestored Kik-Step in regular use. Out here, rust hasn’t claimed all of these. At auction on Bring-a-Handtruck these babies go for big bucks. Fixed up, this’d be a real librarian magnet.
I was driving with my kid yesterday when he saw a sign off the highway. That made him ask “What’s the purpose of Hooters,” allowing me the rare fatherly joy of explaining that some people like to be horny when they eat chicken wings.
I'm a toy designer for reals now! Take that, seventh-grade gym coach who said I'd never design a widely-available multi-faceted iconic mid-century bus toy!
Who’s in the mood for some wagering? I set up my Atari 2600 and Apple II to play each other in chess. Apple is white on the Atari screen, orange on the Apple screen. I’ll post updates as the game progresses. Place your bets! I tried to even the odds, too (see replies)
I wrote about buying a cheap-ass canoe and hauling it on my Pao and I got this email from a man very, very angry that someone on the internet bought a sub-par canoe. He's worried about my relationship with my son because of my crappy canoe. I'm baffled by this. It's fascinating.
Must be nice to be so rich you can hire the same joke writers who normally work for Myrtle Beach's finest T-Shirt stands and the best novelty coffee mug outlets
Finally installed the REAL YUGO wheel
@davidntracy
got for me during his travels in Eastern Europe. It’s so much better than the garbage wheel this had, and that Yugo logo right there never lets me forget how good I have it.
Going to the grocery store on a car:
• boring
• can be quick at least
Going to the grocery store in a Changli:
• thrilling
• kinda slow
• maybe a touch illegal? (i.e. cool)
• makes using actual tiny luggage spaces strangely satisfying