Jarrod Alonge
@JarrodAlonge
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I literally make Warped Tour memes for a living. Owner of @BoketoMedia , guitarist of @crazy88official , brains behind @ChodezillaMusic . Find my Twitch/TikTok 👇
Tennessee, USA
Joined October 2011
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Being a transphobe is so fucking weird - My brother in christ it's like 1% or less of all humanity and you've made it your entire identity, there are more people who play Pokemon Go
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This gem will turn 10 YEARS OLD in less than 3 months and I'm tempted to make Part 2 to celebrate.
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10 years ago today I launched my career in posting Warped Tour memes and harassing band dudes on the internet.
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Thankful to be living my best life!
Hopefully nothing in 2022 will infringe on my free time or ruin my finances!
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Meet my new DAUGHTER Eleanor Jordan Alonge, 7 pounds 11 ounces, born at 12:10 PM last Tuesday. I am already a very big fan. Was honestly expecting a rashy mess like how I was in 1993 but somehow she's perfect.
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Rock music was literally invented by black people.
So done with seeing comments like this on the daily. How are racist people even allowed on Tiktok or allowed to comment things like this? It feels like the bigger we get the more racism we face. Something has to change
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I will quite literally have these manufactured and sold for you if you grant me the merchandising license
@ajbends
@Skyduck64
@JoshManuel
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I currently have this hilarious mental image of Vegas casinos packed with intoxicated 35-year-old emo kids sadly tinkering at slot machines while elderly regulars observe in confusion.
But I do feel bad for everyone who flew in and booked hotels to have it cancelled 1 HOUR PRIOR
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Literally what the fuck
🖤When We Were Young Fest🥀
Register now for Presale that starts Friday, January 21st, 10 AM PT. All tickets start at $19.99 down
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It gets even better. I honestly can't tell if this guy is a comedy genius or not
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Well, I just chatted with my music industry contacts and it seems that stacked festival poster is in fact FAKE.
Here's the real one:
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People of color invented punk rock, so it will never not be weird to see the scene dominated by white dudes
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Oh look, it's the sequel to end all sequels.
Every Pop Punk Vocalist 🍕 PART 2
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Conservative Christians are in for a real treat once they learn that overturning Roe v. Wade won't actually decrease abortions rates, but instead make 3 out of 10 less medically safe.
I'm sure Jesus is very proud of how much unnecessary suffering you're bringing into the world.
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This band is sick, I caught their set that one year at Mayhem Fest between Whitechapel and Thy Art Is Murder
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Should my rock band (1) groom minors or (2) literally murder someone? Both are traits among many successful musicians in this scene, and considering fans' tolerance for shit-tier human decency it could be a great business move!
Homicidal rapey band dudes, so hot right now 🔥🔥🔥
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"I don't know what's in the vaccine" you don't even know the ingredients of ketchup
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Step on a crack
break
your mother's
back
Step on a rock
break
your
f a t h e r ' s
c
o
c
k
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In case you were wondering, things like this only happen when event organizers cut corners and don't pay enough for proper crowd management and security. Hopefully they all get some jail time.
Source: Seasoned pit warrior
Texas officials say at least eight people died and many injured after a surge of the crowd during a performance by rapper Travis Scott at the Astroworld music festival. The fire chief says 17 people were taken to hospitals, including 11 in cardiac arrest.
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"Former vocalist Jonny Craig wants Kevin Lyman to force Dance Gavin Dance to reinstate his position"
Former President Donald Trump wants court to force Twitter to reinstate his account
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I will never be able to get over the brilliance of
@SLNTPLNT
's decision to annotate their lyrics.
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The Emperor's New Groove is seriously the fucking funniest movie ever made
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Gonna feature this man on an SSK single
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It is my pleasure to finally announce that I am the new vocalist of Every Time I Die
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You know that one super influential scene album that has a birthday today?
If you're thinking of Friendville by Sunrise Skater Kids, you are thinking of the correct album.
Happy 7th anniversary to this pop punk masterpiece. Maybe I'll put it on vinyl. Or make a 2nd album.
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Anybody who beefs on
@machinegunkelly
for not being "real pop punk" is a gatekeeping poser.
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"I would like to hear Kanookla Pook's side of the story"
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Okay... I'll actually take the L on this one - It's extremely obvious in hindsight but my dumbass didn't realize this was about the Ronnie + Spiritbox thing and I decided to hate tweet instead of using my eyes first.
Sorry for the unnecessary antagonism, you didn't deserve it.
Bud, this is clearly not the music I actively promote considering most of it is like 4 years old lol. I don’t even like most of this shit anymore, if you’re gonna come for me over shitting on OLN for touring w/ transphobes, at least shit on my band that is my primary outlet lmao
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Heads up, the 10-year anniversary of "Every Pop Punk Vocalist" is in 2 weeks and I've somehow convinced myself to come out of YouTuber retirement to celebrate.
My sketch comedy powers have doubled since the last time we met. View the next tweet for your video choices 👉👉👉
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My mother put a massive amount of parenting energy into making sure I didn't use profanities while growing up but now I swear like a sailor. What the fuck went wrong, Cheryl?
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I am " f a m o u s " ✨
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It only took 15 minutes for someone to write up an entire manifesto proving my point 😂😂😂
@JarrodAlonge
What you want to do, individually, no problem that's not the issue. The issue is the material being pushed in schools on children, we're seeing walkouts from unwilling children, we're tired of it being the majority of mainstream media, the pandering, the fakeness.
It's not it.
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Republicans when over 2,000 young American soldiers die over 20 years of a Republican-led war
vs
Republicans when 13 soldiers die during a Democrat-led withdrawal
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Hilarious that it's even controversial to have to show proof of vaccination, as if you turds didn't do the same for...
- Drivers license to be able to drive
- Proof of DOB to buy alcohol
- Photo ID to be able to vote
- Passport to fly internationally
- Your fucking Costco card
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I'm pretty much pro-abortion at this point, humankind doesn't seem to be doing the world any favors so we should probably terminate as many of you as possible
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I'm happy that The Last of Us on HBO has committed to making Joel fully Latino instead of forcing Pedro Pascal to cosplay as a white person the whole series
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By sheer chance I discovered a new band this morning, they sound super sick and I discovered them totally on my own while calmly browsing the internet, a calm and normal morning free of any sort of altercation/ emotional outburst, just a cool and good spontaneous music discovery.
DIFFERENT STROKES.
stream the new single from the upcoming third LP.
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𖤐 H A I L 𖤐 S A T A N 𖤐
The left is pushing a satanic agenda & their target is your children. Here is Satan worshiping stripper Lil Nas X showing up at a school to loud cheers from 5 & 6 year olds. Let it sink in
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LOL who even is this guy, I've never done so little to make someone initiate beef with me
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Okay, so, I may or may not be working on a video that references alt-music artists who have been rightfully "cancelled" in the last 10 years.
My current list is so unexpectedly massive that I need help narrowing it down to, say, the top 50 (yes, there are that many).
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NEW MERCH! 🙏🙏🙏
This ultra comfy 100% cotton short-sleeve tee from Sunrise Skater Kids is the perfect thing to wear when practicing martial arts with your grandfather. In stores now!
Seriously though 👉
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Which is scarier, an infectious disease that can kill millions or an uneducated horde of unvaccinated Facebook neanderthals willing to sacrifice all humanity over a political ideology so fused with their personal identities that reality itself becomes a subjective experience
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Should I make this into a T-shirt
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The memification of my family has begun
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As a teen of the 2000s I'm not entirely sure if any emo girls I knew listened to trap or bragged about an affinity for large peen but that's just my personal experience
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CrazyEightyEight is better without me and Patty tbh
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Everybody seems to love the new song!
В каждой шутке есть доля правды.
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At first I was worried people were gonna get Fyre Festival'd but now I'm worried people are gonna get Travis Scott'd
🥀Second Show Added🥀
Due to the overwhelming demand, we have decided to add a second day. Same Lineup each day.
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I saw My Chemical Romance for the first time last night. Been waiting since 5th grade. Very cathartic.
MCR is basically the foundation for all my melodic proclivities and guitar playing. I'm almost 30 but I guess that (critical) life experience has finally been crossed off.
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Seriously, how fucking stupid do you have to be to know that unvaccinated people account for 99% of current COVID-19 hospitalizations and STILL choose to NOT get vaccinated.
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I did a YouTube video in 2014 about hardcore dudes gatekeeping their own genre and the joke was outdated even back then 😂
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I'm cleaning out old files on my computer and I found all the original Kanookla Pook screencaps 😱😱😱
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Literally nothing cornier than an ageing boomer in 2021 hating on decade-and-a-half-old crabcore bands comprised of teenagers by comparing them to Converge and Poison The Well, even a decade ago it was a low hanging fruit like congrats hows your social security doing
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Flexing Spotify stats is super corny and really doesn't prove anything aside from you being a nerd, but it's amazing how he compared his BAND'S monthly listeners to my PERSONAL monthly listeners but THIS IS HIS ACTUAL PERSONAL MONTHLY LISTENERS
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I would go ahead and mentally prepare yourself for every tour in the coming months to get cancelled or postponed.
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Gonna quote tweet this in 2022 once it happens, but
@spiritboxband
will most definitely get a Grammy nom.
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Needing a comprehensive list of all metalcore vocalists who got cancelled recently and why.
May or may not be for a new parody.
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Please read this entire Twitter thread, funniest shit I've experienced all year
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Next time someone hits you with the "both sides bad" argument, just remember that the highest ranking member of the Republican Party believes that dinosaur bones were buried in the ground by Satan so he could tempt you away from God.
I am honored to have been elected the 56th Speaker of the House. It is time to come together to deliver for the American people!
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"Sorry, I'm not beefin' with some dude I've never heard of before"
*proceeds to beef with some dude he's never heard of but somehow knows I made YouTube videos years ago*
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Honestly a win-win.
If they get vaccinated, hooray.
If they don't get vaccinated and boycott Disney and Walmart, also hooray because, you know, fuck Disney and Walmart.
Disney and Walmart, two of America's largest employers, have announced that they are requiring employees to be vaccinated
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Lukewarm take, I'd argue that 90% of your problems are totally in your control and that you just need to get your shit together
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I saw
@taylorswift13
- Not nearly as big a fan as my wife but stadium shows are pretty dope. Also 98% women so the men's restrooms were immaculate. Due to excessive beer intake I literally do not remember the 2nd hour.
13/10 would give Ticketmaster my life savings again.
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When Roe v. Wade gets overturned I'm gonna binge some abortion tutorials and offer free D&Es out of my garage.
I love my daughter very much but observing both pregnancy and childbirth has made me even MORE pro-choice. Forcing a woman into that against her will is comically evil.
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Joe Rogan fanboys are seriously some of the most fragile dudes I've ever had the displeasure of interacting with
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In an effort to monetize the attention and make the sheer embarrassment worth something in the end, he pulled a fast one and tried to plug their new single in the comments BUT I HID THE COMMENT SO ONLY HE CAN SEE IT, this whole thing is arguably funnier than Kanookla Pook
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EVERY band happened to be free the following weekend???? And locked down in just a couple days??
I can't even reschedule a dinner with my 6-person friend group until at least a month after the 1st attempt
🖤When We Were Young🖤
To everyone that was not able to grab a ticket on the first go. Now is your chance. We have decided to add Day 3! Same lineup. Sign up for the presale. Monday January 31 at 10am PT. If you signed up for the first launch, you don’t have to sign up again.
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In case you were wondering why I disappeared off the face of the earth, the short answer is that I've been busy adventuring with Eleanor (whomst've is now 8 months old). Fatherhood is cool and good.
I do actually have a new SSK song mastered and coming out in the next few weeks.
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"I just don't trust putting something in my body if we don't know what's in it" she declares, all while inhaling an extra large Diet Coke and a Walmart brand microwave burrito that wouldn't decompose if you left it outside for 15 years
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America when Muslims commit war crimes vs. America when "god's chosen people" commit war crimes
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This is the Christmas card we forced upon our friends and family this year
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I attended an emo night / birthday party this weekend, finalized on "band asshole" for my costume subgenre.
My wife is 15-years-old but is actually very mature for her age 🌹💀
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