Stay in bed until Trump wins 2028

I have no idea what the weather is in Florida because Jamie is comatose from pills and Jenni’s libtard ice cream

I love when it gets cold out so i can really start dressin

Somebody tell @gregkellyusa im back

If you are still only pepper spraying people, you need to up your game. Try the taser + pepper spray + LSD combo

Prominent figures on the left are currently shaking, crying and throwing up having just found out that in anticipation of unseasonably cold weather descending upon miami this evening i am wearing my new cream colored cashmere lined loro piana jeans. Libs owned yet again

Every day in south florida at least one private aircraft crashes in a residential area and at least one car or person is struck by the brightline. I suspect it is only a matter of time until inevitable occurs and the train collides with an airplane

First rule of this business: don’t fall in love

Me negotiating my compensation at work: i need a $6 million bonus every year on 9/11

The truest test of male friendship is if you let your bestie off themselves with your firearm

We need to build dams with plutonium rods so if they break all the water gets contaminated with radioactivity

light codes. frequencies. doppler radar. awakening. DNA.

Everyone is doing a great job, keep it up

Every so often one must ask one’s self and answer honestly: are you trying to vibe with the chillers, or ball with the stunners?

Spirit airlines flight crashing into soho beach house 9/11 style

You’ll never guess what this is about

How we're watching to see if this nigga troons out or not

Problem: forgot to refrigerate the wine before going to the beach Solution: tactical champagne coozie + trump branded gold bar shaped ice packs

One of my special talents is being able to have the douchiest outfit of anyone at soho house

!!!!