Ian Aeillo
@IanAeillo
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Omaha’s Least Trusted News Source. Coming Soon: a heart attack
Omaha
Joined July 2012
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A few years ago I was asked by a car dealership in town to drive a car to a customer in Denver. I would then rent a car and drive home. They’d pay for it all. I had a company credit card. I drop the car off at the customers and walk 7 miles to the rental car place. They say I
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terrorist attack by an armed neo-Nazi who wanted to kill all the minorities on the train. A neo-Nazi who barged into a restricted area and stopped the train. A neo-Nazi who was held down by three black train workers. A neo-Nazi who ate hot dogs from a TJ Maxx bag.
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get on a train. I walk a bit to the station. I get a train ticket home. I get in line. A woman next to me holding a bow (like bow and arrow bow) strikes up a conversation. She is a three time national champion archer. A wild looking dude in a big coat approaches and asks if
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need a personal credit card. I don’t…have a credit card. I try to reason with them. Nothing. I leave and go to another rental car place. Same story. It’s all like this. How do I get home? I leave and get a hot chocolate. I’m sitting in front of a bank trying to figure out how to
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Within minutes there’s flashing lights. Police. We sit for hours. No sleep. No information. Just the occasional whisper. It’s 6:00. The sun is coming up. I get to Omaha around 9:30. I get in an Uber and come home. Few weeks later I discovered I was involved in an attempted
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He starts pulling hot dogs out of the TJ Maxx bag and eating them. I post about this TJ Maxx hot dog event on Facebook. It does well. They turn the lights off. I fall asleep.
Around 3:00am and the train heaves and an insanely high pitched grinding sound pierces the cabin.
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@BrickVoid
Yes they absolutely were apologetic and gave me a very acceptable bonus for my troubles without me asking. They were very kind.
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get home. I have my shorts on, an old sweatshirt, my backpack sitting on the ground in downtown Denver. A lady throws some change at me. I realize she thought I was panhandling. I chuckle. More people drop money at my empty cup. My phone is dead. I decide to find out if I can
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he can use her bow. She says no. He asks if it could kill someone. She says yes. Absolutely. He has a large TJ Maxx bag. We get on the train. It leaves Denver at 7:00pm or so. We will get to omaha around 5:00am. The TJ Maxx guy is sitting a few rows over. He asks if I’m Mexican.
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The train stops faster than any train I’ve ever been on. The acrid smell of hot metal is overwhelming. There’s suddenly screaming. Yelling. The cabin is dark except for wild beams of flashlight scattering. A door outside opens. Panicking. I cannot see what is going on.
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@JourneyWeTwo
I swear to you they offered to drive me. I LOVE walking (usually go on two to three mile or so walks at night before I sit down to work) and the idea of walking in sunny Colorado vs Omaha after a long drive sounded absolutely wonderful!
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Guy at my fav gas station asked if I wanted to be on the pizza mailing list and I said hell yeah and gave him my number and it turns out he just texts me pictures of the pizza he makes every day
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Holy fucking shit. I was looking back through the Facebook post and realized I took a picture. Totally forgot.
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I’m gonna go basic here. Not promoting anything of my own but please donate to
@Culxrhouse
, who is doing amazing stuff in Omaha, buy art from my good friend , and read Pickard County Atlas by my internet pal Chris Harding Thornton. She rules.
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@ufmasters
I enjoy walking and being alone. I had just driven ten hours in a Jeep. Having the opportunity to walk for a few hours before I immediately turned around and drove home sounded really nice. I had a fully charged phone and hours of music and a chance to walk in peaceful Colorado.
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@MakeWheelerHurt
Yes. They paid me well for the trip and I used their card to buy the tickets.
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Being removed and banned from a Nextdoor is blessing and a curse; on one hand I can’t see which of my neighbors are overt and unapologetic racists and on the other I can’t see which of my neighbors are overt and unapologetic racists.
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Hi everyone who read my tweet story. I’m a recording engineer from Omaha, Nebraska. I’ve got a boatload of credits and specialize in symphonic / orchestral recordings. Look me up and let’s work together on some fun stuff!
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One of the absolute best conversations I’ve ever read on this website.
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@menehene
I was in the Denver train station for an hour waiting for the train AND the train had outlets. Charging is not hard to come by in metropolitan Denver. I use my fiance's card in my Uber app, but the rental facilities needed a physical card with my name on it to rent a car.
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Nebraska could enforce their fucking laws requiring businesses to shovel their fucking sidewalks instead of tripping over itself to restrict reproductive access for women.
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One year ago today a chemical plant exploded in Omaha. No elected official ever gave us any news about what actually happened and despite initial reports saying the chemicals were bad news, don bacon never commented on it as he was on his yearly tour of district 3.
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City of omaha say saddle creek flooding happens once every ten years and it’s happened two times in the last ten days and four times in the last year.
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Nebraska radio commercials: Is your COCK not ROCK HARD? FUCK your way to freedom at ULTRAMALE CLINIC. ULTRAMALE will have your SHAFT SOLID AS STEEL. HUMAN GROWTH HORMONES for your LIMP DICK.
Nebraska lawmakers: Gender affirming healthcare is immoral and unethical.
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“I’m not book smart, I’m street smart.”
You’ve lived in Millard your whole life. Just say you’re stupid.
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@Eve6
Bathtub Crank and Sons in Omaha is twice as gay as the gayest Budweiser. Three times, possibly.
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When the state tries to lure big businesses they show them your art, your diversity, your inclusion, your work as examples of Nebraskans. They don’t use your vile racist uncle or your angry neighbor. But that is who they legislate for.
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Actually, he’s not wrong. My soul is an old fuddruckers and and a petco that needs painting.
Tom Trenolone, design director at HDR, said the downtown is the heart of a city, but 72nd and Dodge is Omaha’s soul
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Excited to walk in DoMaha along the Stothert Mall presented by Lund Corporation after a nice ride on The Paladino Memorial CentraRail Railcar presented by The Heritage Foundation after enjoying a nice meal in Midtown Crossing by Mutual Of Omaha.
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Happy seven year anniversary to this flowchart I made about Omaha bands that really angered a whole lot of people on Reddit for some reason.
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@TeamPillen
$23,000,000 to my pig farm and $0 for the hungry kids is the reason for the season
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Today will be remembered as The Day That Weird Omaha Twitter Was Blocked By Midwest Mom
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LSU: Fans form line outside of Barrett’s at 10:30am this morning
Florida: Hired Ben Sasse
I’m so glad LSU won
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It says eight right there man. Nobody cares if you pretend to be a fan.
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Bowie, an animal we keep in this house that could overpower me if she desired, saw a microphone cable on the ground and got scared. This is what happens when Bowie, the toothiest member of this family, gets scared.
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All y’all thought I was joking about Jim Pillen being functionally illiterate but
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At the town square of the city eating alone inside of Taco Bell looking at the shared office max and petco building and thinking about how I can’t wait to pay a subscription to visit our private library on the other side of the out of business Fuddruckers. Beating heart of Omaha.
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Today Rick Carson, Mike Mogis, and the Omaha Symphony are up for Grammy awards and that’s pretty awesome for Omaha.
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I feel like Jasmine Harris would have actually tried to be mayor.
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Okay so I got this new hobby and I’m having a lot of fun with them but I keep losing them on my gps after a few days Any help would be much appreciated.
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“We did nothing to stop this. Donate today so we can not stop this even harder!”
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Girl Scout Cookies: The Sale Starts on Friday, February 10th. You know who to turn to.
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A neighbor just stopped us on a walk and told us we might not want to show our children the neighborhood street painting. “What will your children think? It’s a bad thing to paint on a street and you should turn around so they don’t have to see it.”
The painting on our street:
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@BenSasse
At that moment he opened a tiny bag on his desk. 1,000 tiny Ben Sasses ran out applauding.
“Great job!” they shouted.
“This was a good tweet,” he thought to himself.
“Yes, perfect.”
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Look we don’t have to give credit to Bacon for anything. Dude is out here trying to ban all abortions and to gerrymander your vote away and people I usually see shit talking him are all “well we’ve got to give him credit here.”
No we fucking don’t. He wouldn’t help you.
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@Jennylizz
I don't know! I figured that would be the most relatable part of this whole thing!
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Hey Nebraskans, have you ever, EVER heard it referred to as the senate? The senate at the state capitol?
@IanAeillo
@jordanbpeterson
@NebraskaMegan
The names “Senate” and “Unicameral” are synonymous in Nebraska. You’re a Nebraskan and should know this.
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Please make sure all natural disasters align with our mayor’s social calendar if you expect her to show any sort of leadership. And it would be great if you could make it happen during the week. That would be helpful.
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How do you get a republican senator to leave the unicameral?
Give him a work computer.
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Omaha Weird Twitter is down a founding member. Word is that Alex,
@tourdefranz
, has lost his battle with cancer. I am stunned and sad. It’s an odd little corner we have here; with people from all over the world sharing in The Salad Hype to Julie Slama ruining Morbius and
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Big news: The glasses they give you to look at the eclipse are filtering out the angels from rapturing you. The scientists are paid to keep you here on earth. Don’t listen to the liberal media. Ditch the glasses. Stare at the eclipse for the duration of the event.
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If you're shocked by the Maha cancelation, so are the production crew of the event. Doing something small for them can help out in big ways Buy them lunch, get their next drink, pay their car payment, anonymously pay off their credit card bills, commit wire fraud, murder a wealt
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Being Omaha Famous means being recognized in a Taco Bell while still being the kind of person who eats at a Taco Bell.
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@stephdenk
I’ve referenced this on twitter before but never laid it all out! Didn’t think it would be like *waves hands* this.
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@Adam_Morfeld
“Republicans have been in charge for every year of your life, but taxes are too high. Better vote republican to change that.”
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First, thanks to
@touch_people
for accepting my award tonight. I’d like to thank everyone for whom I was lucky enough to run sound. It’s an honor to get to run sound for all of your projects, experiments, and art and I appreciate the
@oeaawards
for this award.
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People are saying the library needs to be torn down because Omaha needs a skyline and let me tell you, the lack of a skyline isn’t why this place is stupid.
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Hey, uh, can someone check if Halloran has a laptop? Willing to bet this could all sort itself out pretty quickly.
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Why would they delete this tweet? It’s just one Nebraskan who illegally obtained a product that she knew would kill nebraskans receiving an award for doing her job well by the governor.
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@NebraskaMegan
Next time you get up to speak you should jingle your keys for a few seconds to make sure she’s paying attention.
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@GovRicketts
“Just ask your billionaire dad for a job. I mean, mine gave me a great paying job. I’m sure yours will help you too.”
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The recording project that I started at a small bar in Omaha and one of the subsequent albums I did from it is...in The New Yorker? Good start to 2021.
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@podzillaa
@ufmasters
I’ve got kids and I’m self employed. My fiancé didn’t need me home at any specific time. I normally don’t have relaxing time to myself and loved the idea of a nice train ride home and no responsibilities for a few more hours.
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I will never be as good at anything as Mr. Randby is at calmly explaining why the sirens went off at 2:09am.
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Found myself telling someone that Cass Street was named after Mama Cass last night and while I’m not sure why, I will continue doing this.
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@EricShimamoto
@P90sPickups
@NotoriousMOW
The old lady who hosts at my neighborhood Mexican restaurant always scolds me for not knowing Spanish. I tell her I am not Mexican and know German and bits of Japanese but she doesn’t believe me. I really like her.
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@GovRicketts
I’m going to have four, maybe five elective abortions this Saturday. Not going for my personal record but I’m gonna try to have all of these clumps of cells violently expelled from my body on the statewide day of prayer. Little heads up next time so I can prep.
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A hot day and the thick sultry scent of the Saddle Creek Long John Silvers drifting into the ether reminds us that there is no god.
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You ever met a motherfucker who mic’d a sculpture? And a grand piano in that sculpture? Well
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Dr. Cornell West at The Sydney. (Picture from
@RileyInOmaha
)
lol, just got the wildest show production request at the Sydney on December 5th and you will never in a million years guess who it is.
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Fuck warren buffet for destroying the paper. Fuck him for endorsing stothert. Fuck him for his “I wish I could pay more taxes” folksy bullshit. He fucking sucks despite eating at Gorat’s which is objectively a great place to eat.
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Pete Ricketts is a fucking shitbag who lied about his son getting mugged, lost by 20 points last time he ran for senate, installed a puppet senator solely as a firewall, and used his money to influence public policy in ways we never could. Fuck him and his “democrat” wife.
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The constant whining by republicans is the thing I hate. We have to listen to them CONSTANTLY complain about shit that they can fix, but choose not to. It’s this pathetic macho whining where they blame and cry and blame. Pathetic.
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Before twitter blows up tonight I just found out my favorite gas station old lady died and it’s really hard to find a good gas station old lady these days and she will be missed by all who stopped by the gas station at Saddle Creek and Center. She gave me free Pepsi Max. 💔
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@PeteRicketts
Remember when you bought a bunch of illegal fentanyl from an illegal pharmacy in India and had it illegally shipped to Nebraska? Was that because of Mexico or?
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A recent ex-Creighton basketball star moved into a house down the street and I went from the best basketball player on my block to a very, very distant second.
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