Wife: “What are the scratch marks on your neck?
Husband: Me and the guys went kayaking when out of the blue a seal appeared and slapped me on my neck with an Octopus!!!
Wife: Do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to believe something as ridiculous as that?"
Punjabi hit superstardom this year. Pasoori is 430M+ YouTube views & goes top 3 on Spotify. Maula Jatt broke records including highest grossing Pakistani film of all time. Punjabi is an incredibly vibrant vivacious emotional deep spiritual yet comic language. It deserved 2022
Our erstwhile leader Ahsan Iqbal just did a press conference where he said everyone should pay taxes & we should identify & retort tax thieves. Sir I believe these are the taxes you paid that I know of:
2014: 11,000
2017: 368,598
2018: 357,100
2019: 55,656
I pay more tax!
News One gets picked up by Al Kabir real estate developers. Over half of housing societies are illegal. Real Estate clearly believes owning channels gives them influence to leverage:
Capital TV: Al Rehman Garden
Express : Bahria Town
Suno: Blue world city
PNN: Khokar (illegal…
Shahid Khaqan Abbasi has been arrested over the LNG deal. In this thread I will put forth all facts I know related to LNG deal so you understand this issue in its full context and understand what this man achieved and what it meant for the country (Warning: Very long thread)
The founder behind Pakistan’s most spectacular startup collapse has resurfaced in Lahore with a 4 kanal house, a Land Cruiser V8 and an Audi A8. All three recent purchases. How the VC’s didn’t move for an audit on fraud is mind boggling. Maybe because they were complicit
The Corona Virus went from 3 cases to 130 in 36 hours in Italy. There's no way it isn't in Pakistan. And I'm so worried because a government which brought back a medieval disease like Polio due to its ineptness is in no way prepared to manage a modern disease like Corona.
@VirkSh786
@TheRealPCB
@kalson
@Rehan_ulhaq
The sheer stupidity to first do this and then to put it on social media where PTI is one of the strongest political parties in the world. Mind boggling idiocy by PCB
When you don't need a visa:
This one eagle had a tracker fitted in Russia. It died 20 years later in the Valley of the Child in Saudi Arabia. Look at the distance it travelled! Also clearly hated flying over the sea. Me too buddy. Me too.
If you type "Imran Khan UNGA" in Europe it tells you some results have been removed to comply with European data protection law. Basically our Indian friends inside Google are helping shape the narrative again because there's no internal accountability
Talked to non-PTI person who had just come from a meeting with PM. After listening to why something was needed, Imran Khan just asked one question. "Iss mein ghareeb ka kya faida hai?" All differences aside he's the first leader with genuine concern for the poor in my lifetime.
What’s the plan here guys? You’re going to keep 30,000 people in jail? How long? You’re going to keep imports at zero? How long? What will you do when rupee goes to 350 in the summer? This isn’t a political tweet. This is a basic strategy tweet. Where’s the plan? Really worried
My friend left his job to start an ad business on TikTok. He was employing people & making Pakistanis on TikTok money. Today the PTI government because they cannot control content reflecting people's anger at poor governance banned TikTok and destroyed his livelihood
#unbantiktok
Her son was thrown out of Airchison. She didn’t discipline him instead went to Governor & court. When principal threatened to resign she was forced to stop. Then he murdered 4 people when jumping a red light & she forced blood money on victim families to save him. But ok Kashmala
When PTI arrested all opposition leaders and threw them in jail for months Zardari said “Humein tau aadat hai. Sawaal yeh hai jab aap ko pakarnay log ayein ge tau aap kya karein ge”. Guess we have our answer now
Can’t get over the PM diverting flight to Paris to eat at the Eiffel Tower restaurant. I don’t care how hybrid a regime is you don’t have to pick shallow pedestrian chuckleheads to lead it
Terrible name. Never use a word that isn’t conversational. But it’s fitting that a corrupt elite who made hundreds of millions of dollars in the sugar scandal comes up with a party whose acronym is IPP, the biggest legal elite scam forced upon this country in its history.
Mulk ko aag lagi hai. Chalees feesad inflation hai. Middle class banda ghareeb ho gya hai. Ghareeb tubah. Aur Anwaar Ul Haq Cockatoo ko masti soojh rahi hai. Utha le mujhay maula
Feel for Pakistani women. Chances of spending 40+ years married to an entitled, emotionally unavailable, immature guy with a God complex instilled in him by his mother are so high. Wish them all great married lives but doing risk analysis recommendation is to earn & stay single
By 2030 Bangladesh will be the world’s 9th largest consumer economy. Their growth rate for this half decade is 12.3%. Before 2040 they’ll be a trillion dollar economy. Not afraid of Molvis. 2 kids a family. High women inclusion rate in labour force. South Asian superstar 🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩
Back in the day Sialkot the export city hustled and got DSL for broadband so it communicate with overseas buyers. Rather than rely on government it financed its own private airport so buyers could come straight to its factories. It launched AirSial to make Sialkot a hub!
Drug problem in Lahore’s youth out of control. Molly, ecstasy ICE drugs of choice. Drug menus with prices & cash on delivery on WhatsApp common. It’s not just elite. It’s middle class & up. Schools in denial. Kid OD’d last week. How to protect kids from predatory drug dealers?
Manchester United are averaging a penalty a game. You can't win vs that super power. They got a penalty today after game had ended. I expect them to start with a penalty in the negative first minute vs Spurs. When the whistle blows to start the game it will be 1 nil already.
While domestically I had so many issues with how Imran Khan ran things there can be no doubt that internationally he was consistently on point. Imran would have come out swinging today instead of the marshmallow half-ass neither here nor there crap I’m seeing from Alvi and Kakar
I can tell you this one anecdote I got from a really senior ISI guy who was managing enterprise grade tech for them. Said of all DG ISI’s he had given briefings to, none were as intelligent, analytical and smartly probing as Asim Munir. He was left deeply impressed
Can
@Dawn_News
explain why the Chief of Staff for the Armed Forces of the Islamic Republic of Iran General Bagheri hosts their Zara Hutt Kay program 😡😡😡
When I was young 50 rupees was a universe of possibilities and promised hours of immersion. Now I get a judgy look from Food Panda rider if I give it as tip
#pachaasrupaykoizzatdo
Look we have a strong army. We have a bankrupt country. The only strategic option we have is to declare war on Russia. WaaS. War as a service. For 8B USD a month. Send 100K troops to Ukraine. It’s the only way
Einstein once went to Lincoln University a Historically Black College & University and gave a lecture on relativity. His peers scrutinised him for it. The press ignored it, which is why this picture is so unknown. For me it's a momentously historical picture
Daughter just came to me with a really concerned face. “Please don’t go out. You’ve put on weight. I don’t want people to think you’re a cow and sacrifice you for Eid “
Da fuq