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@How2Drink
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Semi-Pro YouTube drinker🍹
New York, USA
Joined August 2015
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Thought it might be helpful to make a very long list of the symptoms I thought/was told were normal my whole life. If any of this resonates with you, maybe see a neurologist. They’ll ask you a list of questions and maybe do this real boring thing: the 48 hour EEG.
When I was a teenager, a young Gothman, I thought I could read peoples auras, see into other planes of reality, astral project, and commune with spirits. Turns out I *was* seeing auras, seizure auras, I’m epileptic. I wasn’t astral projecting, I had vertigo and brain lightning.
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I’m not usually a “repost from TikTok” guy but hot damn Jesus fuck
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I know it’s getting banned and all, but there’s an account on tiktok that just strips the laugh track out of Seinfeld and sets the show to Laura Palmer’s theme and it’s the singles greatest contribution to comedy in 30 years.
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Hope I don’t get cancelled for this foaming hot spicy take but I don’t think you should be able to own 30,000 houses. I think that’s probably too many.
Toronto landlord who owns 30,000 houses explains why young people don't want homes
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This is like something The Muppet Show would do.
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So we watched D&D Honor Amongst Thieves for midnight local, and I pointed out that Gelatinous Cubes also pick up dungeon objects they glide over, like coins, and shoot them out like bullets. My ol’ DM showed up in the comments to tell me he made that up.
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This video of mine has over 2million views on tiktok in 24 hours. Is it cool here too? I’m betting not, different audiences. Anywhere, here it is.
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I feel very strongly that
@jackblack
needs to be aware of
@beans_steel
so I’m posting the clip again way down in this thread damnit
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I’m having a hard time comprehending how this isn’t a bit. I mean, I know pragerU isn’t satire… but how do I *know* it isn’t satire, ya know?
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Today on HTD I'm heading to Exandria and making two drinks from
@CriticalRole
, specifically the good ones, I'm tackling the Cursed Cocktails of Critical Role in part 2, due out in about a week.
#CriticalRole
@matthewmercer
@Wizards_DnD
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Midichlorians aren’t real- the reason all the other Jedi were uncomfortable whenever QuiGon mentioned them was because he was basically a Jedi-Scientologist talking about essential oils and they were trying to navigate an uncomfortable convo with their culty friend.
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Outlaw the confederate flag the way Germany outlawed the Nazi flag.
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I kept rolling my eyes at the "Bezos' Penis Rocket" takes because i felt like it was a cheap shot and all rockets are naturally phallic so who cares... then I looked... his rocket is exceptionally penisy. It's easily 100 or 200% penisier than any other rocket I've ever seen.
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1- fuck you.
2- there’s nothing political about correctly acknowledging that alt 85 Biff was ACTUALLY based on Trump and making jokes about it. In fact, you voted for trump because you like bullies like biff, right? So what’s the big deal?!
3- fuck you.
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SOME FUCKING ASSHOLE IS SETTING OFF VERY LOUD FIREWORKS ON CHRISTMAS EVE- IF MY KID COMES DOWN AND FINDS ME WRAPPING I WILL DEDICATE MY LIFE TO FINDING THIS PERSON.
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Your responses to this have all been solid gold. There’s gold in the QTs.
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I’m seeing this Bill Murray news and just begging people to stop investing their emotional well being into the made up version of some far removed famous person who only exists in your mind.
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This is the meanest comment I’ve ever gotten. I love it. It’s a thing of absolute beauty.
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There’s something exhilarating about watching a dude who imagines he is “self made” blow all his money on a project where he’ll finally have absolute total control, and just fuck it up at every possible step, he can’t make *a single* good decision, the panic of watching $44b burn
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Are you… inviting Trump to fuck the platform you paid 44 billion dollars for in the ass? If not I’m pretty confused here
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The entire fucking point is to pay people more than they’d make working- the ENTIRE point is to incentivize staying the fuck home so as to not spread THE DEADLY FUCKING PLAGUE you goddamn DEATH CULTIST GHOULS.
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Let me be clear: If you show up in one of my videos saying “well this didn’t age well” you are wrong. Ivermectin still won’t save you from Covid. Trump is still Biff. Musk is still a Nazi space grifter. My content ages perfectly and is exactly correct.
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I do not believe that Andrew Tate has sex. I find the entire notion to be completely impossible. I suspect that he’s a virgin, and his girlfriend is really hot, but she doesn’t go to this school you wouldn’t know her.
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Here’s a comment from a very normal and healthy person…
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Danny Devito got de-verified for taking a pro union stance? Fuck this Pinkerton bird site.
On Wednesday,
@DannyDevito
expressed solidarity with striking Nabisco workers.
“NO CONTRACTS NO SNACKS,” he tweeted.
Today, Twitter stripped him of his verified status, DeVito confirmed to More Perfect Union.
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Ha ha ha, it’s funny because it’s true! And exploitive and deadly and demonstrably evil! Photo before he deletes it.
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It’s a one line throw away joke moment that made two humans laugh and then a third which is why we kept it in the edit. This dudes reply took 4 times as long to write and post as our of the moment ice thing.
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I'm new to this, but has a "new kind of guy" just dropped?
I’ll NEVER give up my gas stove. If the maniacs in the White House come for my stove, they can pry it from my cold dead hands. COME AND TAKE IT!!
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Today on HTD
@BrennanLM
drops by to make a drink from
@dimension20show
recent Starstruck Odyssey: The Double Death Commando. They're dropping a trailer for their new season today too, check 'em out!
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Sometimes people say daughters are harder to raise than sons. I don’t think that’s true, there’s no Tate’s or CoD lobby’s out there trying to turn my daughters into rapey little Nazi psycho fucks. I imagine it’s extremely stressful trying to raise a decent son.
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An episode where I take a shot for every time Elon Musk committed a felony act of stock manipulation.
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@Casey
@anothercohen
If nothing good happens after 9:30 that sounds like maybe a conversation to have with your wife instead of the Internet
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Elon *has* given us a terrific gift here though: he’s proven definitively that billionaires are morons, they need boards to constrain their idiotic impulses, that having absolute control over anything will create a gravity well that will pull you in, and destroy you both.
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Look, you can berate me and QT me into oblivion all you want: you’ll never convince me that being surrounded by armed people, regardless of political affiliation, is good. My kid has a few more years before they tell her what the drills are for, and I hate you to death over it.
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Wait... what?! 😳
Big fan of
@How2Drink
, his version of the Johnny Silverhand cocktail inspired us to change the in-game appearance of the drink.
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I have invented a drink I call the Moregarita. It’s a Margarita with the power of 5 margaritas.
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I get my MEAT out of the back of an UNREFRIGERATED truck parked on the SIDE of I80 like a MAN! I cook it on the block of my COAL ROLLING lifted F350 TURBO DIESEL MAN SLAMMER and I DONT even KNOW what a “WHOLE FOOD” is like some SOY BOY
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I almost pulled it off, I had almost become a millennial home owner with an art degree and a pretend job who eats avocado toast… but the boomer seller lied about a buried oil tank and the deal died.
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Is there by any chance a huge silent majority that wants to see a White Wolf V:tM drink episode?
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The core guiding principle of Libertarianism can be summed up as: "All the freedom you can afford... and you can't afford any." It is an absurd policy taken seriously only by high-school boys who grew up in middle class and up neighborhoods.
Begin follower purge now, thank you.
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look, I don’t really know what that breweries deal is, maybe they just have weird branding, if so they should think about that. But I *do* know what the Threepers deal is, and if you come into my comments telling me they’re not domestic terrorists I’m gonna tell you to fuck off.
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This picture was taken by my 6 year old daughter yesterday when I let her carry around my EOS-R with a 35mm lens on it, and I don’t think I’ve ever looked better. Took some other real solid shots too!
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Chris Christie is drunk off his ass on ABC right now. I speak from experience in being drunk on camera here. Absolutely shit faced.
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Established Titles has been deleted from the American Mythology episode that I released last week. Thanks for calling me out here, I *do* vet every sponsor for HTD, and turn down quite a lot of them, this one slipped through. Sorry about that, and I'll have more on it later.
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We’re reaching new depths here folks, we’ve got to push farther, deeper, through…
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Remember when your parents told you you’d grow up and become a conservative like them? lol.
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If Bruce Wayne actually wanted to be a hero he’d go down to the homeless shelter and simply buy houses or apartments for everyone, but what he really wants to be is Batman. Similar, Elon and Bezos are choosing to be comic book fucks instead of heroes every damn day.
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“VACCINES ARE FOR THE WEAK” is probably my favorite reply, thank you.
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as I guy who was literally issued an m16a4, the differences between an AR15 and the various M16/M4 models are completely meaningless. Don’t let some goober gunnit tell you otherwise: semiautomatic rifles with high velocity rounds and interchangeable magazines are murder machines
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Today’s the day I’ll hit a million subs, thanks you all! I wish I had SOME idea of what to do on the channel to celebrate. I got nothing!
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I'm shopping for health insurance today and I'd just like to say: Fuck You, America.
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I am forced to conclude that whoever you are, Mitch McConnell wishes you were dead.
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The attempt going on by Matt Gaetz and Hannity (and I assume others) right now to blame today’s Republican Putsch on leftists/antifa is extreme 3rd Reich energy and I want to pull my eyes directly out of my fucking face.
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Just shot an episode about drinks of the “FoUnDiNg FaThErS” and I’m drunk as a skunk as a result (them boys could drink…) so AMA
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This is some wild shit you’re all tagging me in, and I appreciate it. But I can’t do an episode on these. I’m too tired.
i've preemptively named every mountain dew-based cocktail. please note I've only made like 3 of these combinations
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I keep seeing people on the “no-masks!” Side of things bring up “not that many kids get real sick, very few die, what’s the big deal?!” And I’d just like to know what the appropriate number of dead children to step over is on your way to Buffalo Wild Wings?
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So a real thing that happened is that a verified Eli Lilly imposter account caused a 2.4% drop in share value by announcing that insulin would be free. Question: can they sue the platform that enabled this?
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When I was a teenager, a young Gothman, I thought I could read peoples auras, see into other planes of reality, astral project, and commune with spirits. Turns out I *was* seeing auras, seizure auras, I’m epileptic. I wasn’t astral projecting, I had vertigo and brain lightning.
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Doctor is pretty sure I have a broken coccyx. I have literally busted my ass.
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In all seriousness, this is on a video about a cocktail in a bag, like wtf?
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Please stop being surprised that Eric Clapton is a massive piece of shit, he hasn’t suddenly become one, he didn’t acquire boomer brain worms, he has been an outspoken white nationalist conspiracy theorist asshole his entire career.
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I’m on an extended working vacation right now on a particular Caribbean island and I’m not gonna lie, strongly considering making this permanent. You guys think HTD would work from the palms?
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When my daughter lost her 1st tooth, she wanted to leave a question for the tooth fairy: “what’s your name?”, so I made a very tiny scroll that responded “Tina Beetlebaum”,
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Some people called me fat online so now I’m down 13 pounds since Nov 29, 200lbs here I come motherfuckers.
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There is no place on earth that Supreme Court justices should be free from being hounded by protestors. I can’t even comprehend the argument otherwise, it’s absolutely baffling.
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Look I don’t have anything useful to add but I gotta vent: to people who carry water for Putin, tried to downplay the Russian influence over the 2016 election, trump, the NRA, and the GOP, THIS is the final outcome of that influence and was always Putin’s goal. fuck you.
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“Nobody wants to work” signs are hilarious. Imagine *just now* discovering that literally no one wants to work and that they only do so to avoid starving or dying from like strep throat. Like posting a “nobody wants to be tortured” sign. “Torture dungeon closed!”
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Common Sense Gun Control *is* a retroactive ban on every semi automatic weapon with a removable magazine. That’s the compromise, it leaves plenty of weapons for target shooting, hunting, and home defense.
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It really couldn’t be more clear who the “bad guys” are.
Feds pepper sprayed this Vietnam Veteran/photographer right in the face. His name is Mike Hastie. He was an Army medic.
#PortlandProtests
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I am continually shocked when people casually suggest I move to Texas like it’s a viable place to live rather than run in terror from.
Greg Abbot has officially directed Family and Protective Services to begin investigating all trans children in Texas and prosecuting their parents as child abusers.
He has also instructed all teachers, doctors, and caregivers to begin reporting any trans students they see.
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Let’s get something straight right now before it gets away from us: he does not get a library.
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In case it wasn’t clear, I’m pro abortion. Not pro choice. I’m for safe, clean, free, casual, thoughtless even, access to abortion. It should be a non issue, should barely break your stride. We never should have fallen down the trap of ascribing all this weight to it.
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I fail to understand how picking up a gun and carrying on your person outside isn’t perfectly clear intent to use said gun. You’re very clearly deciding that situations may arise today in which you’ll use deadly force, that’s not intent? Shit’s crazy.
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Not gonna lie, I genuinely failed to anticipate the weird backlash in the comments of yesterdays video over me saying a thing I already said 2 years ago.
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As a kid who counted down the days till I turned 14 to get a job and worked all the way through high school let me tell ya: it was child abuse and your brain is diseased, and the notion of “all the freedom you can *buy*” at the core of libertarianism is fascism by another name.
Child labor laws don't prevent 4-year-olds from working in the coal mines, they prevent 14-year-olds from working in flower shops.
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Once I failed to turn in an assignment. Writer guy wanted to fail me, Vojtěch instead closed his eyes and held his forehead a moment, then declared “I have looked into a future in which the work is complete, and it is brilliant, he gets an A”
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@PKernaghan
My brain is broken and I read this inside out- thought you wanted to take Seinfeld, keep laugh track and bass music, but replace the dialogue with stuff from Twin Peaks lip matched to Seinfeld and I thought “well, that just sounds too damn hard”
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So I made some serious miscalculations when I shot the Manhattan matrix this last week and it landed me a stay in the hospital. I’m fine now. When that episode comes out it will include a lengthy disclaimer and a plan for how ill be altering my show practices in the future.
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It’s that time of year when I want to remind you that the cosmos doesn’t need you to prove your worth by doing a damn thing- you don’t need to succeed at or accomplish anything to be an amazing and worthwhile human being. Enjoy the ride and try to feel good while you’re here.
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I’ve been researching what I thought was gonna be a silly shit post episode of HTD dumping on Elon, but the more research on it I do… I think it might be a very long drunk video essay on the sci-fi nightmare cult called Longtermism that he’s involved in
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I am apoplectic about the push to legislatively force a contract onto rail workers. If the entire economy is held up by these people, maybe they should have one of the highest paid jobs in the country? Maybe these companies should simply be seized by the government?
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