Master Shebeleza
@Hlanyos
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Pinned Tweet
My friend at the braai: Your crush just walked in. Be calm
Me in the kitchen making chakalaka:
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The only reason I’m experiencing certain things is because I allowed it. No one else to blame
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“Awucavi fokol, your honour”
Congratulations to Khomotso Kekana for being admitted as an attorney of the High Court of South Africa.
#WWCAprogramme
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Ga kae? Once? Twice? Three times?
Enough
Connie Ferguson and Rapulana Seiphemo will be returning to Generations The Legacy again 👀👀👀👀
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MaZulu have airtime for two things:
1. To dial a wrong number
2. To vote for a Maskandi SOTY
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I've dated a dude who was clueless at 30 Seconds but could slaughter a cow. I won
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Siyalungisa-Siyapatcha Pty Ltd registered 19 July 2023
Gauteng tenderprenures preparing documents for CBD explosion
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Mother and daughter ☹
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Don’t do it. You’re gonna inconvenience your colleagues
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Congratulations on your new role at the SIU
Girls, whats the most money that wasnt yours you have allowed to be paid into your account 👀
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This growing trend of men being friendly at groove so they can drink your alcohol is so strange
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This is not a gatekeeping discussion. Why must everything turn into a groove spot? Ngisho ne Rocomamas yase Thohoyandou ine DJ
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Streetwise 3 ne papa
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I’ve been broke the whole year. 2023 is built different
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We don’t talk about how annoying drunk boyfriends are. Yoh
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K.
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Prepare an extra plate for the security guard on duty (if your complex has one)
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The TL is showing you that lento oyizamayo nomjita ospanisa iN3 nge Easter ne Christmas 🚩🚩🚩
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Your man is in the mentions of a frustrated unsupported mother, asking what her contribution is to the three children she lives with, and does everything for
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Eskom: Ndipheke amasi
SA: okay
#POWERALERT1
Stage 4 loadshedding will be implemented at 05:00 - 16:00 on Tuesday, followed by Stage 5
loadshedding at 16:00 – 05:00 on Wednesday
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“Why do we have year end fatigue in March?”
Every weekend:
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How you leave
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No. That's gemere. Gemelli is the 90s show hosted by V Mash, Sherriff and Sammy
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Don't spend your 21 days with someone who hardly buys groceries.
Every 2 minutes avula ifridge "What's this babe?".
It's fucken kale, Sibusiso
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She had to shine yesterday. Has to shine today. And could possibly could pin Jesus down tomorrow so that he doesn't rise and shine
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Roli Dibz stated that he doesn’t want his birthday to be turned into a public holiday. Yoh old people <<<
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Leave it by the door or else you’re getting raw dogged
My ex is coming to fetch what belongs to him rn. I'm so glad I never have to see him again after this.
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COVID 19 has shown us that a lot of companies do not care for one of their most important assets - people
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What that Cell C guy did was wrong. Don't defend umnqundu guys. The reaction is warranted. Aren't you guys the same people who tag Woolies when you find snails in your salads?
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Just a reminder. Your gas heater is going to bhubhubhu tomorrow
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Buying a car for a friend because their credit record sucks & the arrangement is they will pay you the monthly installmemt is a recipe for disaster
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Seeing them whenever you want, going home to tefa midweek and leaving when I’m gatvol just to say “home safe” after 15 minutes >
You guys tease us about not having makhaya’s. But do you know how great it is to have home and our families 30 mins away… 🥹❤️
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Last exam result out. Scored a distinction.
I'm done with Wits Business School 🥳
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Guys, if you can't keep up with your peers' lifestyles, ska fosta. There's no shame in not having zaka for mgroovo. Own lane, pace, race
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Guys, don't forget the "I'm home safe" texts. Kubi ngaphandle
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Umsebenzi Wethu is either laced with drugs or is the actual pandemic
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By people who use the remaining water in an ice bucket to dash the whiskey the grootman allowed him to drink
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Kubo akuna ceiling
Mandela's daughter Makaziwe says Tata never chose President Cyril Ramaphosa as his successor.
"Today, we hear people say Tata chose Cyril Ramaphosa, and I laugh because Tata never chose Cyril," she said.
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I’ve been shouting “EH BABA” for the past 45 minutes. What the fakhi
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Proverbs 2:468 "You are who you are. Don't change. Don't let them try to change you, no. Stay real"
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Having sex with men that ask "are you okay" mid fire strokes 😪 FAKA ISENDE NE SHOULDER CHAP AND STFU
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“Azang ka re ntwana e e innocent, your worship”
Congratulations to Khomotso Kekana for being admitted as an attorney of the High Court of South Africa.
#WWCAprogramme
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Ja wena Robocop
Hearing “Yewena letha lana lama specs” when you’re rocking your Apple Vision Pro in Mzansi ☹️💔
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The priority is arresting people with 4 dumpies of Savannah in the boot
12 800 rapes took place in SA from Oct to Dec 2020 That’s 139 rapes per day! Cry the beloved country...
💔💔💔
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Guys, thungisani tuu. There's no bride yet but I have a good feeling about next year April.
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If it’s not Zinhle been the point of discussion every single day, it’s her husband. Adults posting a grieving minor all over social media. Footage from a private funeral shared with no care in the world. Nibolile and I hope lekaka eniyenzayo comes back ten fold.
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Tops
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5 Tao, 3 kids, new schools, one is starting high school just next week. There’s nothing to defend there. Let that nigga cook
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If we sacrifice the East Rand, temperatures will go down
🔴 ALERT: INTENSIFYING HEAT WAVE in Gauteng on Friday
Johannesburg 35°C
Vereeniging 35°C
Pretoria 37°C
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The "you don't have kids" brigade always cracks me up because the same people you spew lekaka to are the same people directly/indirectly helping you raise your kid.
It takes a village, even in Fourways, Nontobeko
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Game is selling baby clothes during lockdown. Finally, someone listened
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That’s why you gotta eat a Streetwise 2 with chips and a mini loaf before you go to any wedding
the pasta portion size at kourtney kardashian’s wedding is the one of the saddest things i’ve ever seen
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3 more sleeps then it’s the first day of the Netball World Cup
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I want you to be Mai(n)
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I can't believe at Tata's memorial eSoccer City, people yelled this when they introduced Ban Ki-Moon.
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"Our babies should have one Pedi name, one Xhosa name". By the time Scandal ended that Friday evening, bengi single
Once kwiRelationship yakho naqala nakhuluma ngoMshado or ngo"I want my babies to have your eyes"ubokwazi ukuthi sekusele u4 days iphele.
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Akhonto enenqondo ezaphuma kwi ndoda ene microphone ye podcast
It looks like she was/is struggling financially. Instead of humbling herself and asking dude to carry more of the load till she back on her feet, she takes the high ground. She hasn't spoken on what she contributed. Only what he should have been. Rea di qava game tsena.
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San’bonani. The SPAR Proteas play Sri Lanka at 16:00 today
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Please remind me to tweet how the residents of Diepkloof Zone 5 had to force Eskom to come to the party to replace a transformer that burnt down. They had electricity yesterday for the first time in 6 months
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2020 really is a Verimark / Glomail ad with that "But wait. There's more!!!"
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