Hal Cruttenden
@Halcruttenden
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Stand up comedian, actor and writer, whose new tour starts in September 2025. I’m hcruttenden on Instagram and Hal Cruttenden on Facebook
London
Joined November 2009
I'm tweeting less as, like most comics and other narcissists, I'm spending more time creating online content. If you want to see more, please look me up on instagram where I'm @hcruttenden
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Next he’ll be saying, ‘Hitler looked out for the interests of the German people and had a cute little Charlie Chaplin moustache…’.
JD Vance sounds less like an American leader and more like a Kremlin propagandist:. Putin is more soft spoken than you'd necessarily expect. The American media has a particular image of him…He's very deliberate, he's very careful.
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Reminds me of certain areas in Northern Ireland. When people feel insecure about their identity, they need to do this. It’s a sign of weakness not strength.
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Bitcoin’s on fire at $112K! Time to flip the charts on BTCC!.Exploring Cryptocurrency with Jaren Jackson Jr.🏀.
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A mate from London popped in to see my Edinburgh show last night… #namedrop #MayorOfLondon #SadiqKhan
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Reviews don’t count but I’ve just found out I’ve got my fifth 5 star review of #edfringe - This is now my best reviewed show ever with another four 4 star reviews. Maybe reviews are hugely important… apart from the two nonsense publications who gave me 3 stars!.
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RT @HillaryClinton: As you listen to an unhinged Trump try to justify deploying the National Guard in DC, here's reality:. Violent crime in….
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RT @GovPressOffice: When you know every word Trump says is false but the camera’s rolling and your mortgage is due.
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😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣.
Dinghies coming into Great Yarmouth, RIGHT NOW. Authorities alerted, and I am urgently chasing. If these are illegal migrants, I will be using every tool at my disposal to ensure these individuals are deported. Enough is enough. Britain needs mass deportations. NOW.
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I know people say reviews mean nothing at @edfringe , but so far I’ve got three 5 star reviews and two 4 star reviews, and I think they’re hugely important… Tickets at !! #hardsell.
halcruttenden.com
New Tour 2025/6 - Can Dish It Out But Can’t Take It
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RT @rgclondoncomms: @Halcruttenden simply gets better and better with (middle) age. His brilliant theatrical timing, combined with his shar….
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Having a really good start to the festival! I shouldn’t retweet praise but this is business. Grab a ticket if you’re in Edinburgh! #hardsell #edfringe.
Edinburgh Fringe Day 2 begins. @Halcruttenden snd Mark Watson were incredible yesterday. Highly recommend. @edfringe
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RT @gazbishbosh: Day 2 festival highlights @InPourTasteShow must see at the Bijou, party atmosphere, 5 wines to taste and top notch banter….
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RT @MrSTeaches22: Go and see @Halcruttenden at @edfringe One of the funniest shows I’ve seen in years, getting a 5-star review as soon as I….
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RT @AdrianCollman: Edinburgh Fringe Day 2 begins. @Halcruttenden snd Mark Watson were incredible yesterday. Highly recommend. @edfringe h….
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RT @MichaelRosenYes: Guardian:.‘More than 400 rabbis from around the world, including Jonathan Wittenberg, the leader of Masorti Jews in th….
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Only a few hours until Starmer can lean back in his chair, undo his tie, and go ‘Well, thank f**k he’s gone. What a c**t.’ #Trump.
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RT @SalfordMe2023: Donald Trump doesn't like Sadiq Khan - fantastic, no better endorsement than that. Here are a few of his actual friends….
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Not saying he did this but Tommy Robinson is a man who seems to spend his life either hitting people or crying. Classic bully.
Throbbinson walking away from someone out cold on the floor. There's a lot of questions about the incident. The most important being, how long until he sets up a crowdfund for legal defence?
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Depends what sort of crime. If a sex predator isn’t white you are rightly keen for them to face the full force of the law; if they are white, you campaign for them to be US President….
Reform UK will be the toughest party on crime this country has ever seen. 💪
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