Guy
@GuyIsReborn
Followers
5K
Following
229K
Media
27K
Statuses
112K
"On a completely unrelated note, I dropped a bomb every 20 minutes of my Nobel Peace Prize presidency.".
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I cook fish in the microwave and just throw it away so people who are more inclined to work from home, including the office gossip who destroys everyone's productivity with her inane chatter, will start doing so. Follow me for more life hacks.
STOP👏🏻COOKING👏🏻FISH👏🏻IN👏🏻THE👏🏻FUCKING👏🏻BREAKROOM👏🏻.
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Have you lost your GD mind, Jim?.
A show you don’t want to miss at 4p ET / 1p PT. I’ll be having a one of a kind interview with Joaquin Oliver. He died in the Parkland school shooting in 2018. But his parents have created an AI version of their son to deliver a powerful message on gun violence. Plus Texas State
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Nothing would please me more than forcing college administrators and professors to become slaves, tovarich.
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Look at me & look at you. I’m actually 6’4 . Making most people’s yearly salary in weeks . In world class shape with a 6 pack . Traveling to the most exclusive places in the world with beautiful women . When you attain 1/20 of my wealth or accomplishments, come back to me.
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WNBA players will complain about not making as much money as their male counterparts in the NBA and then decry every possible improvement that would put eyes on screens and butts in seats for the games. Make up your minds, ladies.
stop throwing dildos on the court… you’re going to hurt one of us.
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Media marveling at the attention being given to another boogeyman they manufactured out of whole denim.
Have you ever thought about American Eagle this much in your life?
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RT @CholeraFan: American Eagle should do an ad where @rickyberwick wears their competitors jeans and talks about his genes.
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Imagine being a hiring manager and having HR tell you "Make sure to mention the masturbatory breaks" before interviewing a candidate.
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Man I haven't seen a Native American take a fall like that since-. *Record scratch*
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It is weird to think that not too long ago there was a huge row on the TL due to a few people claiming Sydney Sweeney is mid and fast forward to now and there is a huge row due to a very different set of people claiming she's a spokesmodel of neo-eugenics.
Hot take apparently on this website but I think Sydney Sweeney looks fine. She’s beautiful!.
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Imagine burning over a billion dollars on a failed POTUS campaign and then getting an advance to brag about it in a book. Don't tell me America isn't the land of second chances.
What the world saw on the campaign trail was only part of the story. My new book is a behind-the-scenes look at my experience leading the shortest presidential campaign in modern history. 107 Days is out on September 23. I can't wait for you to read it:
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Sir, if people know me for anything on here it is for being a Mensa member with a skyrocketing IQ and one of the smartest people you will ever "tweet" with. Consider your hypothesis fully discredited.
nobody with an IQ over 130 has algo pull. their posts are too niche. nobody understands them. they never go viral. they just don't have it and never will. the cutoff is like 3K followers. if you have more than that, you're a midwit.
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Sydney Sweeney on jeans and this girl singlehandedly going to convert every hipster gastropub, normie bar, and alcoholic dank pit into a proper and dignified bierhaus. Surrender now, lefties. It is all over.
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Reese's and Oreo joining in an unholy alliance to get everyone off of Ozempic. What a time to be alive.
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