฿₳₮₮ⱠɆ ฿ɎⱤĐ
@BattleByrd
Followers
1,076
Following
896
Media
3,065
Statuses
6,199
“𝙉𝙊𝙏” 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙚.
The Sky
Joined April 2023
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Pinned Tweet
GM!
I extended my contract yesterday unlike anyone before!
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GM.
Remember that some people just want to watch the world burn.
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Some Mom at gymnastics was gossiping about a guy in her neighborhood that wears a “bulletproof vest” while he walks his dog. She claims it makes her uncomfortable…
ITS ME! I’m the neighbor she’s talking about 😂
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If I pay for gas and snacks who will take this road trip with me?
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What the hell is pain equity? We just making shit up now?
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Let the shenanigans begin. Y’all did a terrible job trying to talk me off the ledge!
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I’ll be wearing it every time I’m outside. Mowing, grilling, sun tanning.
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GM!
This is quite possibly the dumbest thing you’ll see all day!
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I knew he was in good hands the moment I heard “ hold on bubba”
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I’m still trying to figure out this duck jeep thing. Am I doing it right?
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This guy is currently 100% of my thread and I ain’t mad about it!
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The same people doing campus protests are the same people that get upset when you don’t use proper Pokémon pronouns…
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Her: Will you grab some dinner on the way home?
Me: Already on it!
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Turkey season is right around the corner. Better get those weapons dialed…
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For those of us that grew up poor. What food do you still like even though you are doing ok financially as an adult?
Mine:
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Royal Caribbean and Carnival ain’t ready for this kinda cruise line!
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I have added an undercard fight to Earl vs Billy. Show up early to watch
@HardPass4
take on
@BudLightSadness
at 5:00pm CST
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I miss the days of voluntarily giving my parent’s computer viruses for a chance at some free music…
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Still waiting for that lower you ordered online? Don’t worry it just got a little stuck in transit….
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Can someone explain to me the meaning behind the Jeep/Duck thing? Am I the only one that thinks it’s stupid?
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@clintaestwood
Some HOAs can put a lien on your home. Hence abolishing them is the way to go.
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GM!
The US isn’t doing great right now. Let’s get back to our roots.
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Dear Hotels,
It’s ok to hang your shower heads at 7.5 feet instead of 5.5 feet!
Sincerely,
All tall men!
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Good news is X scrubbed all the bot hoors. Bad news is I didn’t have as many followers as I thought 😂
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GM! If you want something done right sometimes you just gotta do it yourself!
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Seal chose death over living in California any longer. Can’t say I blame him.
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GM Fam!
Y’all listened to the new Gunslingers album yet? Rock and roll is back!
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My wife has a friend getting married soon and I’ve been getting my outfit picked out. What do y’all think?
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Semi Trucks on the Interstate:
Well he’s going 70mph and I’m going 70.01mph. Let’s go ahead and take the next 17 miles to pass him and block all the traffic in the passing lane 🤦🏻♂️
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