litigation_god Profile
litigation_god

@GodLitigation

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Legal humor since 2018. If you're sending your Florida cases to your cousin instead of me, we need to talk. FL PI + Commercial Lit. Dm us!

Joined September 2019
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
21 hours
You know shit’s about to go down when a lawyer says, “Your Honor, may I share my screen?” That’s the legal version of someone taking off their earrings before a fight. Someone’s about to get embarrassed. Receipts are coming. A PDF is locked and loaded. Unless, of course, the.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
22 hours
I fall in love a little every time someone follows up. Not romantically, professionally. Because in litigation, following up is one of the most underrated power moves you can make. There is nothing I love more than walking into court and showing the judge, “Here’s the five emails.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
1 day
Financially stable enough to have my own place but don't have "get off my family's streaming service sub" money yet
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
2 days
I left BigLaw thinking I’d escape insane client demands. Back then it was a Friday email saying, “Hey, can you draft a TRO and a 20 Count Complaint alleging RICO by Sunday night.”. Now I’m in PI and it’s, “Hi Karen. The policy limits are $30,000. I cannot get you $300,000.”.“But.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
2 days
RT @RileeDHarrison: Law school should have less courses on the theory of law and more courses where a client calls in unreasonably angry fo….
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
2 days
inspired by @chasedownleads
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
2 days
Reuters just put out a survey that states only 2-3% of the population knows what adverse possession is. So 97-98% of folks will never see it coming. Time to get some free real estate.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
7 days
I don’t get why everyone’s scared of AI. If you billed three hours for a motion that AI drafted in 60 seconds and still couldn’t cite-check it to weed out hallucinated cases, maybe you shouldn’t be practicing law. It’s going to quickly weed out these lawyers and give the.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
8 days
Shahid v. Esaam, out of the Georgia Court of Appeals, involved a final judgment and decree of divorce served by publication. When the wife objected to the judgment based on improper service, the husband’s brief included two fake cases. The trial judge accepted the husband’s.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
8 days
Oh no, it finally happened:
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
8 days
Law schools and the profession love pretending BigLaw litigators are elite warriors of justice. In reality? They risk nothing. They’ve been billing $1,000/hour from day one, all costs covered, no skin in the game. Their only incentive is to drag the case out longer than a Fast &.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
8 days
I think you would like this post @PerseusAryamehr.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
8 days
Was randomly thinking about Yik Yak today. We need a version for courthouses. Anonymous posts like:.“Judge Smith has been on the bench too long. Her robe smells like regret.”.or “Whoever parked their BMW in the judge’s spot—your motion’s already denied.”.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
8 days
Law schools have everyone convinced that personal injury lawyers are shady ambulance chasers, and Biglaw is some kind of Rolex-wearing Illuminati. Meanwhile, PI attorneys are suing Uber, clocking out by lunch, and never panic-emailing about the misspelled footnotes on page 30 of.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
10 days
Opposing counsel immediately after I serve discovery responses:
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
15 days
Deposition prep is just roleplaying anxiety while telling your client not to ‘go rogue’ like it’s a hostage negotiation. Spoiler: They go rogue. They also showed up to the deposition on their cellphone pushing a cart at Walmart.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
16 days
Big Law partner tried to dox me after we landed a $15.4 million verdict. Imagine getting smoked in court and thinking, "You know what’ll fix this?”
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
16 days
Practicing law in the ‘60s: You were one of three attorneys in town. You golfed with the judge, drank with the DA, and your ad was your last name on a wooden sign. Practicing law today: 400 lawyers within a 5-mile radius, 7 billboards per intersection, and one guy named “Injury.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
17 days
They tried to play Ronnie Coleman. We turned their lies into a $15.4 million deadlift. Yeah buddy.
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@GodLitigation
litigation_god
21 days
I have had this exact nightmare:
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