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keegan

@FranziaMom

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Following
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Statuses
115,431

a buffalo bill dan till the day i die. @camp_trash . he/him.

portland
Joined March 2009
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
i’m baby
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 years
who the fuck forgot slides
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
i have a sticker on my car expressly warning cops that i have a passenger with autism so that they don’t kill him if i get pulled over
@MiamiPD
Miami PD
4 years
It’s here!! Our Autism Awareness Vehicle will be patrolling the streets of Miami. If you see it say hi, take a picture, and tag us! 🚔👏🏻🙏🏼 #Autismawareness #mpd #community
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
Biden right now:
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
i love Riverdale, the first tv show to be written entirely by predictive text
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 months
every relationship needs one person who says “What else has he been in” while watching something and one person who excitedly reads their IMDB out loud
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 years
"Get in loser we're going-" me, just happy to be included: great let me grab a jacket
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 months
i take it all back, the menswear guy rocks
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
my friend runs an instagram account called “kikos parking service” where he only takes pictures of his own car after finding a parking spot, and then comments on the picture from his personal account
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
Noah Kahan is one of the most famous musicians in america for harnessing one powerful, dark truth: people fucking loved Mumford and Sons and are ready for round 2
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@FranziaMom
keegan
9 months
i think it’s cool that Taylor Swift, who makes very normal music, has a fanbase that requires a Department of Defense special task force
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
Mythbusters was sick bc those guys hated eachothers fuckin guts but they had no other marketable skill and weren’t great on camera and decided that if either of them wanted to retire they were gonna grit their teeth old-married-couple style and ride that bitch into the grave
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
for years, Fred Durst had a line in his contract that stated any video game that used a Limp Bizkit song in its soundtrack also had to feature him—Fred Durst—as a playable character
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
bands are always like “big things brewing 👀” and it’s always just songs or something. that’s not big things, that’s what you did last time.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
Pitchfork: the album is good, not great Halsey: they should have another 9/11
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 months
jesus christ
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
everyone is so pissed about this but it’s the first sensible idea the film industry has had in years: tax superhero movie fans so we can fund the movies that are actually good
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
2 years
AMC CEO Adam Aron says “our prices for #TheBatman are slightly higher than the prices we are charging for other movies playing in the same theaters at the same time”as they experiment with variable pricing. (Source: Deadline)
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
every day January Jones posts an instagram story that any historical philosopher or psychologist would need to spend months writing about
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
what happened to this Dickens-ass kid. what chimney is he sweeping rn
@PigsAndPlans
Pigeons & Planes
1 year
King Krule making his US television debut at 19 years old, playing "Easy Easy" on Letterman in 2013
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
this guy married someone i went to college with and was so abusive that she now has a Ted Talk about it
@DanPriceSeattle
Dan Price
3 years
I'm a millionaire CEO. Tax me and use it to pay for health care for everyone.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
Father John Misty
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
gaslight and coke company? you mean my ex’s apartment?
@JoshLipnik
Midwest Modern
7 months
People’s Gas Light & Coke Company Chicago, IL
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
please never call the police if anyone with autism is involved. police are not well trained, do not understand nonverbal communicators, and will simply shoot them if they can’t figure out what’s going on
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 years
if you wanna talk about unpaid internships, let me tell you a little something about the most unfair unpaid internship of all time. now this guy did all the work for a lootttt of people, for no payment of any kind. and his name? That’s right, it was Jesus Chri
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
i can tell by someone’s pedal board if they’re christian or not
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
there’s a third kind of person: over the age of 26
@Iittlstrawberry
𝓂𝒶𝓂𝒶𝓃
3 years
there are two people in this world ones who were exposed to this album through tumblr and ones who were exposed to this album through 4chan
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 months
Gym Class Heroes have over 15 million monthly listeners. they have not released music since 2011 and they are in the top 500 most streamed artists globally on Spotify
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
thinking about this absolute trainwreck: the worst Mountain Goats interview/interviewer in history
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
that’s just how much they cost
@consequence
CONSEQUENCE
5 months
Kurt Cobain's cigarettes just sold for $5,200 in auction.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 years
not only did Moonlight win, but we got to watch La La Land actually have it taken out of their hands what a time to be alive
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
Passion Pit…. now THAT was a quirked up white boy with swag
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
“i know this sucks but what if i do it. what then”
I know AI is bad and we shouldn’t use it but there’s no other way to see carly rae jepsen performing an industrial noise set at a basement venue
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
oh....oh no.....
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@FranziaMom
keegan
12 days
it’s so funny because Taylor could have made literally anyone a bigger artist by namedropping them and she picked Charlie Puth, the 111th most streamed artist in the world
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
every man has a podcast with over 400 episodes that he’s been listening for like 6 years that he needs a specialized dedicated online community to talk about it with bc he sounds crazy trying to explain it to normal people
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
also, as many people have said, Autism Speaks is an organization with massive issues that does not speak for or serve people with autism. branding a cop car with their logo is a sign of how fucked both these institutions are.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
librarians are more important than cops. every librarian or library volunteer deserves more respect than any cop.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
if you watch more than 30 seconds of any episode you are watching two dudes physically ill with contempt going “This is right up our alley, I’ll get the forklift”
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
you can tell a record store is good if the dude working there is playing the shittiest music you’ve ever heard
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
truly tremendous @DragonflyJonez
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
⠀ (\__/)    ⠀  (•ㅅ•) my girlfriend getting  _ノ ヽ ノ\ __ to the front of the / `/ ⌒Y⌒ Y ヽ show (  (三ヽ人  /   | | ノ⌒\  ̄ ̄ヽ  ノ    ヽ___>、___/    |( 王 ノ〈 (\__/)    /ミ`ー―彡\ (•ㅅ•) me following
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
finally….the Youth have unearthed a dark millennial artifact …
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
they really just typed “horny teens” into the notes app and kept smashing the middle autocomplete until they had three seasons
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
the album Tallahassee by the Mountain Goats was about the hosts of the show Mythbusters
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@FranziaMom
keegan
9 months
King Gizzard makes insane music in an insane way and also they are insane. their fans? regular. will pick you up from the airport and tell you not to worry about gas money. enjoys going to baseball games.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 months
trying to think of another band like LCD Soundsystem where they have no more than 4-5 good songs but those songs are just absolute motherfucking hall-of-fame smashes
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
every time i hear a new Lucy Dacus song i think “Oh she’s clearly going to be a generational, hall of fame songwriter.” it’s so obvious.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
8 years
ever since i left the city you continue to invite me to facebook events that you know i could not possibly attend
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
the abbreviation for monkeypox is MxPx
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 months
me at 18: Pavement kicks fuckin ass me at 23: Pavement kicks so much ass that my band is gonna cover their music me at 28: Pavement is a slacker rock archetype that inspires only mediocre imitators, their legacy might be a net negative me at 33: Pavement kicks fuckin ass
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 months
@airbagged even once inflation hit around pandemic you could get the two pack for like $15
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 months
i am about to say something very very loudly
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
a shame Arcade Fire have become such an avatar for “arena indie rock” because there’s no way for kids to experience in retrospect what it felt like to hear Funeral in 2004. earth-shattering.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
this dude is a motherfucking tank
@PDXzane
Zane Sparling
4 years
Federal police strike protester with baton, use pepper spray and tear gas outside courthouse in Portland
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
i want to apologize: i often slip into using outdated language, a holdover from my time in education. many autistic people prefer “austistic person” instead of “person with autism,” and my tweets should have been phrased that way.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 months
an all-timer
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@FranziaMom
keegan
9 months
King Gizzard fans will go to three shows in three nights and drink 74 beers and they’ll still be at work on time on Monday, making the coffee in the break room
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
Raquel just reminded me of something very important that i forgot to mention: Casey is 6’3”
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 months
dream tour lineup
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@FranziaMom
keegan
8 months
worst thing i’ve ever seen
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
Lucy Dacus doing this tour lying on a couch with a herniated disc is the hardest thing i’ve seen in my fucking life
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
9/11 2: Halsey’s Revenge
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 years
one of my sixth graders closed out of his class work and his desktop background is his mom 😩
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 months
nobody is really at their hottest until after they turn 30
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
everybody on this app is always doing bits. they just love their little bits. you know who else loved his bits? Judas Iscariot. his thirty bits of silver. for betraying the Lord Jesus Christ with a kiss.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
you cannot possibly imagine the chokehold Skinny Love by Bon Iver had on college freshman in 2009. chernobyl-tier fallout.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 years
@hamsiggins me: ca- Steak ‘n Shake employee: all of cooks just quit to go hop a train and live life on the rails so Benny, the 14 year old who shouldnt be legally working here is cooking everything. Machine’s broken so I’m making all the milkshakes by just shaking the blender
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
who the fuck is this Cigarettes After Sex band for. this is AI music. this is the soundtrack to the worst Apple-store-lookin-ass coffee shop from hell. smooth brain music that has become actually offensive in how stupid it thinks its audience is.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
i want a band to tweet “big things coming 👀” and then a series of government buildings inexplicably explode
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 years
i'm not so sure about this new Run The Jewels...
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 months
1. this is dogshit 2. once this went viral they didn’t link any Palestine charities or anything: they linked their website with their portfolio lmfao
@vinayrkrishnan
Vinay Krishnan
2 months
new poem
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@FranziaMom
keegan
9 months
@airbagged yeah bc you’d get put on a watch list if you did
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
listen if you listen to a podcast, that’s between you and god. that’s none of our business
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
i can’t believe how often a very funny, self aware bit that a teenager is doing on tik tok gets passed around on Twitter as a single screenshot that everyone treats as sincere for some reason
@boywaif
tania 🪆💌🕯️
3 years
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
if you want to bring a lightsaber to the movies, your ticket is $21. this seems more than fair to me.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 years
me at 22: you have to listen to this song it whips ass me at 28: you have to go to therapy it whips ass
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
y’all really have no idea what an album cover looks like huh
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
maybe you should have Meta few bitches
@verge
The Verge
3 years
Breaking: Facebook’s new name will be Meta
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 years
correction: i went to college with her sister Kathryn—she was the RA for my sister dorm. (Raquel has to remind me: the whole family is tall beautiful women with K names, lmao.) we knew the story because we knew Kathryn, but i wasn’t in college at the same time as Kristie
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 years
my goals at 17: make a lasting difference in the world my goals at 27: get rich, get hot, garden
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
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@FranziaMom
keegan
9 months
what's the best band in america? boring, exhausting, no way to find consensus, a circular conversation that results in zero fun discourse. what's the best band in every state? exciting, regional, fun debate, could become a big bracket which everyone loves.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
all pop bands right now (diy, indie rock, pop punk, hardcore dudes making pop music) are in a frantic race to accomplish the exact same goal: write Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms a second time
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
@BrandyLJensen @dee_bee_h inappropriate sex appeal
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@FranziaMom
keegan
4 years
i got my sticker (and a small information sheet i keep in my glovebox for emergency responders) from Safe & Sound Autism Society. the link on their website to order the decal is dead, but i’ve emailed to see if they still provide them.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
if you make me come over to your house and THIS is happening, i’m stealing everything in your medicine cabinet and a coat on my way out
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@FranziaMom
keegan
5 months
@malkatz paul rudd's pr team frantically trying to contact Dream Rudd
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@FranziaMom
keegan
9 months
put your shoes on
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@FranziaMom
keegan
1 year
if your band is printing shirts: print on heavier material, dickhead
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 months
it those boys were really genius they’d let Julien get to work on another solo album
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@FranziaMom
keegan
10 months
i’m not using a similar site. i am throwing this shit up from half court until they shut the lights out and then i’m gonna learn to read again
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@FranziaMom
keegan
3 months
Thirteen by Big Star is a song that is so culturally omnipresent that it should be wallpaper, like Every Breath You Take or some other classic rock radio staple. instead, it’s one of the most moving and beautiful songs about adolescence ever written and it feels new every time.
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 years
i swear you motherfuckers just see a couple thousand RTs on something and go “Oh this must be good”
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 years
there’s a game we play on tour called “Is This Local Coffeeshop Run By A Church”
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@FranziaMom
keegan
2 months
Grizzly Bear were such a weird kind of proggy indie band, so funny they got lumped in with all the sedate folk of the era
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@FranziaMom
keegan
6 years
currently, i’m not very hot, but i’m sure the problem can be remedied with some very expensive clothes
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@FranziaMom
keegan
7 months
they cancelled Detroiters after just two seasons
@creepydotorg
Creepy.org
7 months
What is the worst event in human history?
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