Five Stripe Final
@FiveStripeFinal
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Welcome to Five Stripe Final dot com, a new home for Atlanta United coverage and community
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Please support independent soccer coverage.
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We, for one, choose to remember Frank in his finest moment.
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IT'S SATURDAY MORNING IN THE RAIN SOAKED CITY OF ATLANTA, GEORGIA AND SORRY TO KEEP EVERYONE ELSE WAITING BUT THE MLS SEASON *REALLY* STARTS TODAY
TIME TO GIVE THE REVS MORE SWEET TEA THAN THEY COULD EVER POSSIBLY MANAGE TO THROW
WAKE UP, GET HYPE, IT'S MATCHDAYYY IN THE BENZ
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FULL TIME IN MERCEDES-BENZ STADIUM
IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK, Y'ALL
ALMADA SCORES, GG GETS A HAT TRICK carles gil scores one AND IT'S A NIGHT FOR THE AGES. 4-1 FINAL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE:
THEM FIVE STRIPES IS HELL, DON'T THEY?????
3
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If Orlando City played as well as their social media team tweeted, everything would be exactly the same.
2
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206
IT'S THE LORD'S DAY IN THE LORD'S FAVORITE GOAL SCORING CITY AKA ATLANTA, GEORGIA
THE SUNDAY SCARIES ARE APPROACHING, BUT MAMA DIDN'T RAISE NO COWARD AND MRS. GIAKOUMAKIS SURE DIDN'T EITHER
WATCH OUT, ORLANDO
WAKE UP, GET HYPE, IT'S OFYO DAY SO DAMN WELL ACT LIKE IT LET'S GOOO
7
22
195
FULL TIME IN ATLANTA AND I'M LEAVING THE CAPS LOCK ON
JOB WELL DONE FROM THE FIVE STRIPES AND SENDS CHICAGO HOME WITH A BIG OL' EASTER EGG.
GG SCORES, THEN THIARE GETS A BRACE OF HIS OWN. AND WHAT A PERFORMANCE FROM SABA. THREE. NIL. WOW.
THEM FIVE STRIPES IS HELL, DON'T THEY?
5
13
185
THAT'S ALL FROM THE BENZ
ATLANTA UNITED HOLDS ON TO A 2-0 VICTORY AND SENDS US ALL HOME HAPPY
SABA OPENS HIS 2024 ACCOUNT, MORE GG MADNESS, GUZ AND THE DEFENSE GET THEIR FIRST CLEAN SHEET. BLUE ISN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL.
ALL THIS TO SAY...
THEM FIVE STRIPES IS HELL, DON'T THEY??
0
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180
People forget this but Atlanta United won MLS Cup once
3
9
169
IIIIIIT'S SATURDAY MORNING IN AMERICA'S ONE TRUE SOCCER CITY AKA ATLANTA, GEORGIA
THAT EARTHQUAKE Y'ALL FELT UP THERE IN NEW YORK? YEAH THAT WAS ACTUALLY JUST THE CITY TREMBLING IN FEAR OF THIAGO ALMADA'S ARRIVAL
WAKE UP, GET OUT OF BED AND GET HYPE ALREADY IT'S MATCHDAYYYYY
1
15
158
IT'S EASTER SUNDAY IN THE MAGNIFICENT MEGALOPOLIS OF ATLANTA, GEORGIA
A SUSPICIOUSLY APT DAY FOR AN "ALWAYS RISING" ATLANTA UNITED TO PLAY A TEAM CALLED THE "FIRE" BUT HEY I'M NOT THE ONE WRITING THE SCRIPT
THAT COFFEE AIN'T GONNA CHUG ITSELF SO WAKE UP, GET HYPE IT'S MATCHDAY
3
12
150
IT'S SATURDAY MORNING IN THE INTERNATIONAL PLAYER CAPITAL OF THE WORLD APPPARENTLY AKA ATLANTA, GEORGIA
MAY YOUR PESSIMISM GIVE WAY TO RATIONAL OPTIMISM AND MAY YOUR HOT TAKES MAKE ROOM FOR LEVEL HEADEDNESS
TL;DR: F IT WE BALL.
WAKE UP AND GET HYPE IT'S MATCHDAY IN TORONTO
12
10
148
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY MORNING IN GOD’S CITY AKA ATLANTA, GEORGIA
REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR BOOTS AND SHIN GUARDS TO THE MATCH WITH YOUR WALLET AND KEYS BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHAT THE DEPTH CHART LOOKS LIKE AFTER TODAY
WAKE UP, GET HYPE, AND GET WARMED UP IT’S MATCHDAYYYYY
1
8
143
Well the new kit finally dropped with all the others
looks like it's an ode to zipper merging in Atlanta traffic
23
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141
WHO DOESN'T LOVE
@JosefMartinez17
NSFW: Funny moment last night during
#ATLUTD
interviews. Translator Justin didn't want to translate exactly what
@JosefMartinez17
said, so Josef got someone else to!
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338
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140
not sure why Atlanta's U-15s are bothering with playing smaller clubs that don't offer much of a challenge
4
10
138
IT'S SATURDAY IN GOD'S CITY AKA ATLANTA, GEORGIA AND I NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
SAY YOU HAVE THREE EXES OF VARYING LEVELS OF IMPORTANCE ALL SHOW UP AT YOUR PLACE AT THE SAME TIME DETERMINED TO BEAT YOU WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?? ASKING FOR A FRIEND
ANYWAYS
WAKE UP. IT'S MATCHDAY.
3
8
130
Every Atlanta United fan: Actually, Geiger ain't so bad. He had a good game.
Tata: He's still terrible.
3
5
111
Atlanta United is tied for the 4th most points all time with two games remaining and everyone seems to agree that we're absolutely not winning anything and that's weird but also makes perfect sense because Atlanta
4
11
109
Act II, Scene 7: penalty kick training
de Boer: Ok lads let’s see your pens. Josef, you were the main taker last year. Let’s see some.
[Josef does his hop thing and de Boer’s left eyebrow begins to twitch involuntarily]
[Fades to black]
2
8
109
"It's going to be amazing, we'll call it: 'The SuperDraft'"
"Wow. What's that?"
"We'll have teams acquire players in a predetermined selection order."
"Sounds...like a regular draft"
"No it's a *SuperDraft*"
"Uhh ok then. Hey can I borrow a pen?"
"No. But I have a SuperPen"
2
15
109
"Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy.
It does not boast.
It is not proud.
Love bears all things.
Believes all things.
Hopes all things.
Chris Armas blew it."
I just witnessed the father of the bride, a *very* Georgia man, shit talk the groom in a wedding speech about Atlanta United beating the Red Bulls.
2019 is wild, y’all.
10
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2
10
106
So Barco goes and makes himself one of the players of the U-20 tournament, comes back a couple weeks early AND Josef Martinez doesn't have to play a full 90 tonight? A blessing from the gods.
13
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4
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94
GG says “we have to improve many things” following 4-1 victory.
On Golden Boot: “I don’t have to send a message. They know me.”
2
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96
Look just tag Atlanta next time
Inept soccer team takes fifty-four (54) shots and scores zero (0) goals:
4
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93
good morning! atlanta united won last night.
we're recording in about an hour. if you have questions about last night, the team, mls, or life in general, reply below and we'll answer them on the show.
18
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91
dude just chugged two beers on the halo board and this place is alive
9
1
86
HOW BOUT THEM FIVE STRIPES?
QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? THOUGHTS? SEND THEM OUR WAY NOW
20
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83
Atlanta United is back.
We're just getting started...
3
7
85
Miguel and Tata now with the same number of red cards since 2017
Eight minutes into his first appearance against Tata Martino since both left Atlanta United, Miguel Almiron takes out one of his players, Gallito Vazquez, with an awful challenge. Straight red!
(via
@UnivisionSports
)
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0
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78
GIORGOS GIAKOUMAKIS CHEST AND VOLLEYED FROM LIKE NO ANGLE FOR HIS THIRD OF THE NIGHT
GOLDEN BOOT ALL BUT CONFIRMED
0
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82
The leaks definitely aren't fake. It's not like Adidas just had an easily replicated template design to make fakes already on ha--
6
5
76
This is more entertaining than the match itself
This is literally
@Longshoe
’s plane landing. Can he make it by kickoff? The clock is ticking…
#LongshoreWatch
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2
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75
BAR DOWN *BANGER* FROM GIORGOS GIAKOUMAKIS ARE YOU JOKING
BROOKS LENNON TOOK A MAN'S SOUL AND GAVE IT TO GG TO DO WHAT HE DOES
THAT'S A BAD MAN. ATLANTA GETS THE SECOND.
5
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71
IT. ACTUALLY. HAPPENED.
Give us your comments and reaction for our postgame show.👇
17
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM GIAKOUMAKISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THERE'S YOUR GOAL
1
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|￣￣￣￣￣￣ |
| CHRIS |
| ARMAS |
| BLEW |
| IT |
| ＿＿＿＿＿__|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
1
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64
"Oi mate, its either 20 million quid or we're gunna have barney."
4
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63
I regret to inform y’all that Toad is unavailable today due to international selection.
1
2
63
Congrats to LAFC for winning the Chris Armas Memorial "Best in Show" Award
You tried! And for a while, it looked great!
2
4
62
So zeke goes out and scores three goals and gets "A" scouting ratings and comes back with three weeks to rest. Seems pretty good.
2
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57
“Your banners are corporate and lame,” tweeted the Minnesota United fan watching the MLS playoffs on his couch.
3
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58
MLS is your favorite team's game followed by dune buggy racing
0
5
57
Y’ALL. WE JUST COMFIRMED SPECIAL GUEST DARREN EAGLES FOR OUR NEXT SHOW.
5
1
54
Joe's favorite Chris McCann moment was when he shamed me so aggressively for my old, ugly shoes, I decided to invest in a new pair and I really like them. Thanks.
1
2
54
GUZAN SECONDARY ASSIST
EDWIN MOSQUERA RUNS ON AND CROSSES TO THE HEAD OF JAMAL THIARE FOR HIS THIRD IN TWO GAMES
TIE GAME
2
2
54
🚨🚨🚨 INTRODUCING: “Five Stripe Final”
@DirtySouthSoc
’s postgame Highly Distributed Audio Discussion featuring
@japatrick200
and
@J_SamJones
of DSS, coming to you live from the Mercedes-Benz press box following home matches and from wherever following away matches.
More below
12
12
53
.
@J_SamJones
got so mad about your takes on Gonzalo Pineda's tactics that he wrote a 2100 word post and made it free
3
13
54
SABA TO LENNON WHO FLOATS IT BACK POST AND THIARE HEADS IT HOME
STRIKER DEPTH IS A HELL OF A DRUG
ATLANTA UNITED DOUBLES THE LEAD 2-0
2
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54
Phone lights are out. Life’s good again.
Six minutes of stoppage added.
0
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52
JEFF LARENTOWICZ IS A GENIUS
Jeff Larentowicz said Frank de Boer gave him two words of instruction before his start on Saturday:
“Coach them.”
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0
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46
67,727 in the house. Good to see every single last one of y'all.
1
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48
watch out for these guys 👀
1
1
48
OH MY WORD
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM GIAKOUMAKIS AGAIN
1
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47
that was quite possibly the worst corner to ever be taken in the history of corners. Cincinnati walk it down the field and score. 1-1.
7
3
47
Slisz just laid down his life for his new city and I respect the hell out of it
2
1
46
Bello on the overlap
0
3
47
Jose Martinez just chucked the ball downfield after committing a foul, doesn't get a second caution?
2
1
46
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ HOLY COW
0
1
45
SABA FLOATS TO THE LEFT AND TAKES OFF WITH A PASS FROM XANDE
PERFECT BALL FROM THE END LINE TO THE FOOT OF GG WHO MAKES NO MISTAKE AND SCORES RIGHT AT THE END OF THE HALF
1-0 ATLANTA
2
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44
Retire a number if you want. Don't do it if you don't. Death retires us all anyway.
5
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42
GOOOOOOOOOOLAZOOOOOOOOOOOO CALEB WILEY HOW DID YOU DO JUST DO THAT
0
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43
Interesting to note about the locker room that the players are not in numerical or alphabetical order. Looks like players are grouped by relationship and vibe which is pretty cool imo
1
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“Oh dear lord there go them Five Stripes off to cause trouble again.”
“They just do not stop do they?”
*Takes swig of New Coke*
“I reckon not.”
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