Fake Booze
@FakeBooze
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Following
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Drinks trade to debate assisted dying for brands that should have given up the ghost years ago. ‘It’s cruel to keep them suffering’ said a spokesman for the bill. ‘They deserve to be able to die with a dignity that they never showed throughout their entire miserable existence.’
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Use an iphone and the contents of your cellar this Christmas to show your peers that you are MUCH BETTER THAN THEY ARE in every way. https://t.co/2QeGoQZY6B
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UK wine trade thrilled to welcome excitingly baffling new duty system. https://t.co/TRYaudnij8
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R&B star plumbs impressive new depths for celebrity drink with gusset-focust Chardonnay launch. https://t.co/CNzWXQTqJA
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The time has come for the drinks trade to man up and stop dropping crap into the ocean, says eco group Greenpiss. https://t.co/2SvlQkbu7n
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This wonderful bit of pseudy bollocks picked out by @guyawoodward reminds us of our Crap Tasting Note of the Year awards. Read ‘em and weep both from joy (because you didn’t write them) and abject sorrow (because they are bloody awful) https://t.co/gXrwnVVC7d
Working my way through critics’ tasting notes of top Bordeaux. Some trying a bit too hard. I won’t reveal its author, but this is surely a contender for a @FakeBooze award… ‘The 2015 cannot fail to hedonically satiate and intellectually edify all lovers of great Bordeaux’
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Let's get ready to ruuuuummmmble!!! Jancis and Parker in high profile slug-fest to decide who's the world's top critic. https://t.co/H65YMdXUlu
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Fake Booze is in love with whoever wrote this. Absolute genius.
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Magazine caught red handed in ‘not score fixing’ scandal. This sort of flagrant honesty simply cannot continue, says drinks world. https://t.co/gyhrLsrlHU
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Vines launch high profile scheme to save old journalists from being replaced by younger, more vigorous models. https://t.co/UppuN1N1FZ
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Drinks world comes together to celebrate the fact that it is royally screwed. https://t.co/0HaD7FNmSK
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Incredibly, Bordeaux pulls another top class vintage out the bag - this time using amazing 'smart vine' technology. #bordeaux22 #enprimeur
https://t.co/DEBjLpQSqP
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The traditional booze world habitat of swapping 'nice lunch' for 'free article' is under threat from rapacious 'journo-fluencers'. Save our endangered liggers! https://t.co/dl3Kdopsnb
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British winery faces spell in the Tower over treasonous failure to produce pomp-inspired tat. https://t.co/4PChH6eDyL
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Drinks world to usher in 'Total Decanting' philosophy to ensure public remain baffled. https://t.co/t9gsLof1cZ
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EU to address the scourge of wine inequality with bold new levelling-down agenda. https://t.co/SoJgvdNZPM
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Pensioners, not Gen Z are the future, says wine trade, as it tells young 'uns to do one. https://t.co/8eGK1Cwt2C
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Visitors to world's biggest wine fair mysteriously attracted to bang average rosé. https://t.co/eawlEJ2tbK
#prowein #kylierose
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