Molly
@FSUmollz
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Last Seen Profiles
“I remember the morning the Titanic departed from England, I was supposed to be on that ship. They called it unsinkable but I had a bad feeling”
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Dudes be like “nobody cares about your spotify wrapped” then post their golf swing
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#Dodgers
Shohei Ohtani said his wife is a “normal Japanese woman” and has known her for 3-4 years.
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Outside the bar at 3am looking at the guy holding a pack of Marlboro Lights
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RIP Queen Elizabeth you would have loved to see Jameis Winston and Kirk Cousins play in your kingdom
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Funniest shit during nfl games is when they cut to fans in crowd and it’s fully grown men dressed in the dumbest outfits imaginable
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CBS interrupting with Iran/Israel conflict news then back to Masters coverage
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Going Ohtani mode at the bar tonight (drinking 700 million drinks and not speaking English)
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“Chinese energy executives paid millions to Hunter Biden… who was on CRACK”
Stephen A. Smith just told Paul
@finebaum
that he'd consider running for President of the United States.
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Funniest shit during nfl games is when they cut to fans in crowd and it’s fully grown men dressed in the dumbest outfits imaginable
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Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can make out with two girls and put your head between a cocktail waitress’ breasts or grind with multiple fat women
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I’ve been guilty of laughing at these submarine jokes but tbh it’s unfortunate that most of us are disconnected from the reality of the situation and there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that’ll be a home run. And so that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame
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Jack Gohlke in three months: Hi my name is Jack and today is my first day on the Risk Consulting team at PwC. A fun fact about me is I hit the most three-pointers in an NCAA tournament game against Kentucky. Excited to join the team!
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They should make an Urban Meyer at Florida documentary that actually documents what happened during Urban Meyer’s time at Florida
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If I can give a recommendation to any avid golfer: be rich
If I can give a recommendation to any avid golfer: Join a good country club.
It’s life changing. Having people to play with, fast pace of play, and better conditions increase enjoyment so much.
If you have a family, it can become a central part of life. Golf sure, but also…
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I love being a baseball fan
Bally Sports: not carried on YouTubeTV
MLB Network: no longer carried on YouTubeTV
MLBtv: constant blackouts
MLB: why is baseball dying?
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My friend thinks you’re cute. He’s right over there being very normal
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I don’t care about Trump’s mugshot. I care about the confirmation that he’s the same height and weight as Derrick Henry
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Dudes be like “nobody cares about your spotify wrapped” then post their bet slip that didn’t hit
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Pat McAfee: *yells for no reason*
Guy who peaked in high school: omg this is just what college gameday needed
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Urban Meyer if his PR team didn’t get final approval for what was shared in Swamp Kings
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ESPN letting go of 20+ personalities just to force Pat McAfee down our throats bc he’s loud and says things like cuzzo
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I bet Tony Romo has called his wife Jim in bed. It’s just natural
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So Big Cat live-streamed himself playing NCAA Football 14 during Covid and created a coaching character named Gus Duggerton. Then this guy out of no where tweeted that he looked just like the character in real life. Barstool hired him but they just let him go after three years
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We, as a society, have moved past the need for Alexi Lalas to be on television
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Wow! Congrats to Aaron Judge for the incredible achievement of being 12 homeruns away from tying the record set by Barry Bonds in 2001
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No one is talking about how shorter baseball games are bad for the 9 innings 9 hotdogs 9 beers fans
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Little Caesars can pay millions of dollars on a partnership with the NFL and it’ll never be as impactful as this organic Facebook post by Zepp Charles
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There’s something about seeing a group of 21 y/o boys with one of them carrying a singular pack of white claws. You just know fellas are getting after it tonight
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That guy who peaked in high school, still posts on Facebook, and uses flags as decor thinks this is absolutely epic
Pat McAfee opened up his first show on ESPN with a disclaimer 🤣
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When a pro athlete does it they’re an “unrestricted free agent” but when I do it I’m called “unemployed”
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Society if Miller Lite still had vortex bottles with specially designed grooves
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I thought it was a joke when people said there’s a pic of Urban Meyer and his wife on the wall at his bar/restaurant that he got filmed at 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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As per usual the government is warning Floridians to not shoot our guns at the hurricane but how can we trust them? I’ll do my own research thanks
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Men used to go to war and now they post weekend photo dumps on Instagram
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Every house in Philly will have one of these by the end of the night
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Unfortunately my soulmate is likely in some cheap Phoenix hotel rn setting his alarm for 3am to rush the gates at Waste Management tomorrow
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If Rickie shows up in head to toe orange tomorrow it’ll be over for these hoes
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When I text you “🐎🎢” it means Broncos country, let’s RIDE, Broncos country? lets ride, Broncos country let’s ride, broncos country let’s ride
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If there’s one thing we’ve learned from Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, World Series Champion Astros, and CFB National Champion Michigan Wolverines it’s this: always cheat ✨
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Great to hear Kirk Herbstreit being impressed with Michigan overcoming their own cheating adversity to win and be here today
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Four minutes is actually a perfectly fine amount of time for a man to last
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Today seems like a good day for my annual reminder that Brian Kelly killed a kid
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The only thing I have in common with the Notre Dame fans I’ve met is that we both did not attend The University of Notre Dame
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One more
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My DM requests:
Back in the U.S. and already missing these. They’re everywhere in Europe and they’re unbelievable.
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“She got a big booty so I call her big booty” -2 Chainz (2012)
The best lyrics ever written:
“I wish politicians would look out for miners, and not just minors on an island somewhere”
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So yeah then Rico Bosco left Barstool to take another job at a competitor. Dave and Big Cat did an Pick Em about all they’ve done for him and telling us it’s real. But guess what? This week he’s returned and they reassured us that it wasn’t just a bit. I definitely wasn’t duped
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The unfortunate truth is I just know my soulmate is somewhere in the crowd of men embarrassingly running to hole 16 at the Waste Management Open at 4am
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How are there 22 year olds w jobs as consultants? What advice could they possibly provide
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Two backup quarterbacks playing on TNF with Kirk Herbstreit on the call could not be more unintentionally hilarious
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Babe are you okay? You haven’t spoke since Dave Portnoy announced Rico Bosco was leaving Barstool
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A guy in my DMs has been sending me MLB moneylines every day until I respond. He’s 3-0 so far
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“She got a big booty so I call her big booty”
Not even in The Beatles’ wildest dreams could they write a lyric as good as this
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Making the switch to Football Night in America switches on your Sunday scaries
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If he sees his shadow that’s six more seasons of NFC Championship losses
Aaron Rodgers has concluded his darkness retreat.
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If Auburn (6-6) would have just covered one (1) Alabama player we wouldn’t have to watch this
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There seems to be a pattern with the unvaccinated and Achilles tendon ruptures? Just doing my own research
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