I've decided to run a commentary thread here as I go through my treatment. Hopefully someone out there will find it useful if they or someone they know is going through a similar situation. Here goes!

This "provaxxers vs antivaxxers" debate blew me away by how shockingly unprepared the 2 "vaccine skeptics" were. Anecdotes, stories and unfamiliarity with the basics from the get-go. I thought they would try to feign knowledge or have some interesting Qs. Nope

It's great to see a modern performer who seems like a genuinely good bloke. #yungblud https://t.co/CDAzXfdnYo

Out with the family for the Dutch Liberation Day holiday and I have three missed calls from German numbers. Should I ignore them out of principle or would that just tip them off that we're unprepared right now? #Bevrijdingsdag

@threadreaderapp unroll please

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me and followed me through this time. It has really meant a lot & I hope that it has helped someone else too. I'm not sure how much I'll be using this app since someone ruined it, but this King's Day, I'm calling it a happy ending.

My stoma is gone. I can fart on occasion. The remaining parts of my insides are back where evolution intended them to be, though it is taking a while to readjust physically! The joy of farting cannot be understated. This feels like a win.

Every blood test and scan will come with the fear of bad news, but it really feels like the worst is behind us. Radiation, chemo, countless surgeries (minor and major) and a drug consumption list that would shame Hunter S. Thompson are more or less in the past.

I wondered for 3 years how this thread would finish. I hoped it would be by choice, but with every setback and nasty surprise, I prepared myself for other possibilities. I would never wish this process on anybody, & I know that it will never truly be over, with ongoing checkups.

It's almost exactly 3 years since I learned that a 6cm anomaly on my CT scan was definitely stage 3 colorectal cancer. My life has changed in so many ways since then, but being able to share my experience here has really helped me. Today I'm going to be closing this thread.

So I'm not entirely sure how this Easter thing works. Will the Pope come back to life after 3 days?

I didn't want to update too soon in case I found myself hurting back to the hospital again, but I've been home for a few days now and I'm getting more mobile by the day. And I'm farting! Such an underrated pleasure! I will now fart everywhere, with gusto.

Elon Musk is what happens when bad comedians never get heckled.

The doctors are confident they have figured out the infection now and it looks like I could be going home in a couple of days! Finally some positive news! Yay!

A fun few days. Had a flash fever and pretty drastic crash a few days ago so they put in a PIC line to feed me and give antibiotics while they search for a source of infection. That brought things under control and I'm back to eating and sleeping again.

I have tubes splitting me with fluids and nutrients, tubes preventing further inflation and my small intestines need to figure out how to intestine, but we're getting there. Several new additions to my now impressive collection of abdominal scars. So close.

The result here is that I have spent the last few days since then recovering from being disemboweled (again) but they have thoroughly examined my insides and are confident that the only problem is that my guts have forgotten what they were meant to do. Working on that now.

Laparoscope couldn't see any big problems, so they had to open me up again. No major issues except the gas abs liquid buildup but at this point my insides were outside. They stuck a pin in it too let the gas out. I'm a fucking medical genius!

When the doctors asked, I said it felt like I was just inflated. Stick a pin in me and let it out was my suggestion. They would not agree. Ultrasound, CT, bloodwork showed nothing except the inflated small intestine so they prepped me for surgery again.

Through Friday and Saturday night, I became more bloated, couldn't eat, couldn't drink, felt nauseous, lots of pain. Eventually, on Sunday night the swelling in my abdomen was restricting my breathing. Back to the hospital in a hurry.

I was eating again on Wednesday. On Thursday, I started to feel more bloated but was assured that this is normal and my insides were functioning. Friday, I was discharged and went home looking pregnant, but in a good mood.