Don P
@DonDoes30
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Author of ʺFrom the Bottom of the Bottleʺ —— Writer for http://t.co/jrN9E7PYQl —— World champion of everything else in between.
USA
Joined May 2009
I had lunch outside today. Saw a pudgy crow take a hamburger bun from a garbage can, fly it over to a bench, drop it on the seat, and scream and caw directly at it like he hates all its delicious carbs. I thought, "Same, pudgy crow. Same."
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I roll up to security, put my suitcase on the conveyor belt. It goes through x-ray. "Sir, can you please open your bag?" -- "No, I can't." -- "I'm going to need you to open your bag." I pull out a knife. Guns are drawn on me. I cut into the suitcase. IT'S CAKE!!!
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Haven't been on Twitter in a while. Glad to see everyone is getting along...
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Jake Paul and Nate Robinson hugged each other more times than I've gotten to hug my entire family this year. #JakevsNate #COVID19
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This coronavirus shit is really putting a damper on my goal of smoking weed with @Sethrogen
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Taking down the entire NBA was something I thought only a Kardashian could do #coronavirus #nba
https://t.co/DvmjIN4QkX
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