David Milner
@DaveMilbo
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Following
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I don't know why I'm still here. Writer, journalist, guy that says stuff about stuff. Editor of @shot_au . May or may not be notable.
Melbourne, Victoria
Joined November 2015
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Pinned Tweet
Here's me. "Why buying cocaine and sex workers for Australia’s highest profile rapist wasn’t a brilliant idea"
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"Four words or FEWER"
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It's like this now, I'm sure advertisers will stick around
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"Battlefield has abandoned historical accuracy for political correctness"
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RPGs are weird, man. Was trying to hack a terminal in The Outer World's but my hacking skill was too low. Notice my armour is giving me -5 for all tech skills. I take off my pants and all of a sudden I'm skilled enough to hack the terminal. Video games.
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tfw when you're a games journalist and you meet a political journalist
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Imagine telling some jerk he has a tiny dick and that pisses him off so much he responds with such a microdick move he ends up in fucking jail. The power. Climate change doesn't stand a chance against Greta.
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As the only journo in the state that got the election result right, I'm gonna give away my trade secret: I live here and it was obvious.
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These "the Nazis were socialists, it's in the name!" folks must be really bloody confused by buffalo wings.
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Victorians, if you're feeling like all you endured was for nothing, it wasn't. Last year, there were no vaccines. You put up with hell for more than six months, saving the country from the same fate. You were shat on and mocked and demonised for it, but you still did it. ♥️
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@JoshFrydenberg
Just shut the fuck up for half a fucking second and let us have a nice moment without your fucking miserable partisan contributions.
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me, before tweeting: hmm, might be a good idea to tweet.
me, after tweeting: you imbecile. you utter moron. if a dumber man has walked this earth i have not encountered him.
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Shoutout to everyone getting vaccinated, sucking it up, not kicking dogs, and clinging onto enough sanity to not believe in The Herald Sun's imaginary communist dictatorship. You're my heroes.
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The deadshits on here trying to imply the Bondi Junction murderer was a Muslim is Australia's terrified racism at its worst. It's fucking pathetic. Why's it so hard to believe an Australian male would murder a bunch of women? It's happened 27 times this year already.
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Fuck this newspaper is irresponsible and just massively, massively stupid.
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It's wild that Morrison is the longest serving Prime Minister since John Howard and he hasn't really done anything.
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If we hadn't politicised this virus and demonised effective responses to it, we wouldn't be in this mess. Australian conservative media should never be forgiven for how it handled the pandemic. Irresponsible, sociopathic nonsense.
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Here's the cheat sheet for the Dan Andrews presser:
11am = not terrible
After 12pm = bad
Wearing a suit = real bad news
Sports jacket = moderately bad news
Northface jumper = it's the weekend
Wearing a suit on the weekend after 12pm = shit's fucked
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Did Australia's Prime Minister really, today, just hours ago, say indigenous peoples haven't taken colonisation all that well and they should be bigger about it? I feel like I'm tripping balls. I don't think anyone in the country has the mental bandwidth for months of this shit.
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This is how you say "don't touch me and put a mask on" in French
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We're entering the best week of the year, The Void. Between now and NYE time doesn't matter, it's irrelevant, noone knows what day it is, and no reasonable person wants anything from anyone else. Everyone is off the hook. The empty space at the end of all the normal weeks. Bliss
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I've said this a million times but the reason this Government doesn't want a corruption watchdog is definitely all the corruption
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If the nation doesn't get a chance to vote out Scott Morrison it'd be a fucking travesty. We don't deserve much, but we do deserve this.
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NZ: We're going into lockdown. You'll hear from me a lot.
AUS: Going to the footy. Wait, why are you at the beach?! Go get haircuts. Schools are clopen. We need to help essential workers, which is everyone. Unleash the plague ship! Parliament is closed. Mining CEO in charge now.
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Fair warning. If anyone complains about having to wear a mask in Sydney after 5 million Melburnians spent 23 hours a day inside for months on end, confined to a 5km life, with basically everything shut - on behalf of the entire country - I will absolutely crack it with you.
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Nintendo being one of the most protective and litigious companies about its own IP makes this even funnier
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I just reckon a national holiday that doesn't make soooo many people feel like utter shit would be a small improvement.
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@elonmusk
You're one of the richest men in the world and one of the least self-aware. It's a killer combo.
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Barnaby Joyce was fucking smashed in Parliament today. Australians can no longer feel upset about that Simpsons episode. They nailed us.
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Frydenberg asking Australians to pump out babies for the economy less than two weeks after ending free childcare is just peak rich male privileged fuckheadery
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Gutted. If white Australia felt uncomfortable about the Voice part of the Uluru Statement, just wait until we get to the Truth Telling bit
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That was not me shouting "fuck Murdoch" at Dan's presser, but I do support the sentiment.
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Hey, your unwavering allegiance to Steam is kinda weird. It's a shop, with a shitty refund policy, owned by a billionaire meme, run by a company that made maybe 4 or 5 pretty good games a while ago. You're being weird.
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E3 prediction:
Microsoft: 150 player battle royale!
Sony: 200 player battle royale!
EA: [doors slam; gas seeps from the ventilation] Real-life battle royale!
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Grace Tame fucking rocks. 🤘
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Brett Sutton being cut off TV for Scott Morrison is like a Bruce Springsteen gig being cut short because Nickleback want to tune their guitars
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Staggering stat from Crikey.
2/3rds of Australia's pandemic deaths happened this year: 4547 of 6786
Illustrates how the volume and intensity of media coverage of an issue can be completely at odds with the lived reality.
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I love that EA's marketing for this game is basically "It's nothing like an EA game!"
No microtransactions. No loot boxes. And no, we won't be adding them. A single-player Star Wars story for those of you who are ready to become a Jedi.
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If they're making decisions for the rest of us, can every Australian vote in the next NSW state election please?
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@australian
You don't get to do this. You were not on our side. Your entire horrendous corporation made our lockdown way harder than it needed to be. You attempted to undermine it, and now you're doing damage control. We see you.
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For reasons obvious and less so, this has been the hardest year of my life. Momentous, difficult, awful and transformative. During the worst of it I've always been able to find connection and comfort and company on this hellsite though, so thank you. It's helped me. x
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"I signed up to a national plan to vaccinate our nation, not a national plan to vaccinate Sydney" - Dandrews.
This is heating up a tad...
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This won't get attention right now but Jacqui Lambie just announced she's voting against the incarcerated refugee phone ban. That's the 2nd time this week she's done something v. good. I have no idea what's going on anymore and this weekend is the most perfectly timed ever.
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Here's me. "When Murdoch’s tabloid failed Liverpool the people kicked it out of town for good. What’s stopping Melbourne?"
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I know a bunch of you have been worried about me recently. I just want to say I appreciate the kindness, it helps, and more than that I am working fucking hard on feeling better. I've hit a deep low, but I know it won't always be like this. Have an awesome weekend. Lots of love🤘
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Vic presser:
Journo: "As a healthcare worker, when you hear people saying 'open up', how does that make you feel?
Healthcare worker: "Terrified".
These people are our best. They deserve better from us.
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Is Scott Morrison the most infuriating, dumbest trauma trigger for anyone else or just me?
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Now we just need Nick Kyrgios to tweet about this, completing the cycle, so we can all move on
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The "how did you get to work today" question on the census form can go fuck itself
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[Early 2020] Maybe we should build dedicated quarantine facilities?
Australian Government: *wanks on a desk*
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The brilliance of this is that racist edgelords are upset all the baddies are white, and are now asking for more diversity in games. Bravo.
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In awe of Novak Djokovic's lack of self-awareness. Imagine running your own rogue superspreader tennis tournament, which helped spread coronavirus across the Balkan states, and then putting your hand up with some suggestions for the Aus Open.
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Here's me. "Scott Morrison, national trauma trigger"
Scott Morrison, national trauma trigger - The Shot
Pando Year Three is off to a flyer
theshot.net.au
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Did a bit more reading about this so called "WWII". Turns out the Allies were massive SJWs. I'm pretty shaken.
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@Peter_Fitz
You know the lockdown that crushed covid last year? The one that went on for 112 days, the one that worked extraordinarily well and got the country back to zero and was a horrific experience for lots and lots of people - he undermined that endlessly and relentlessly.
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I was wondering how long it would take me to stumble upon one of these in the wild! And the answer... not very long. Love your work, Melbourne. 🤘
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a whole bunch of people really, really don't understand either of these things.
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Director: She's in England for one scene. It's gotta be convincing.
Producer: You got the red phone booth?
D: Of course:
P: Black cab driving past?
D: Yep.
P: Frilly tablecloth? Tea stuff? Brits dig tea.
D: I'm not an amateur!
P: Framed photo of the Queen?
D: ...My god. Genius!
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A super easy thing you can do to make life less stressful for retail staff is just show them your vax certificate on the way in before they even need to ask. It's clear a bunch of them are stressing about it, because of all the unhinged weirdos, and it's not they're fault.
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Here's me. "We deserve this moment. But don’t forget who helped and who hindered"
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I know this sounds weird, but the media doesn't need to play defence for corrupt politicians. It's totally not a necessary thing to do. It's really, really, really easy to just not do this.
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Hey
@ScottMorrisonMP
, my family and I got out of Mallacoota just before the road closed and spent four days stranded in NSW by the
#climatefires
. I can assure you the cricket being on provided zero solace. I hope you're good at other things because you're a useless Prime Minister
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Here's me. "What does Scott Morrison do?"
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The Herald Sun: CASES DOUBLE AS DICTATOR'S GRIP FALTERS
Yesterday there were 2 new cases & no lost lives reported. Cases with unknown source and the rolling 14 day average in Metro Melb are down, average in Regional is stable. More info available later today.
#COVID19VicData
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Here's me. "Australian politics is unequivocally fucked"
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Pleased to say this tweet has lost me some followers. It's working properly.
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Much of the media coverage of Victoria and corona is not only irresponsible, it's basically *psychopathic*. The disdain for ordinary people, and those who value the health of the community over individual liberties - during a pandemic - is unhinged. The lack of empathy is creepy.
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Here's me. "Why has Victoria had to endure so much psychopathic commentary during the pandemic?"
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While Daniel Andrews was recovering from a broken back, Peta Credlin took to Sky News and said, "Trust me, there’s more than enough baseball bats in Victoria for both Albo and Andrews to cop a whack". She was later appointed an Officer of the Order of Australia. Totally normal.
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Toughest revelation to swallow of 2020 for me was just how broken Australian journalism is. I feel let down by almost all of it. There's like a dozen people that are properly good at it in the entire country; 'questioning the entire point of the profession' levels of unhelpful.
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It's simple. This is Victoria treating the Liberal Party with the same regard and respect that the Liberal Party treated Victoria with through the early pandemic. There's a widespread 'fuck em' sentiment MSM routinely fails to pick up on (partly because it's also directed at MSM)
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We should stop asking AAA devs if their game "is political" because, frankly, they're all too scared of their audiences to answer properly.
Instead ask (the more loaded), "Does your game have anything interesting to say about the state of the world?" and see what happens.
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What do you mean "Scott Morrisson was about to go on holiday"? He's been on holiday all fucking year.
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Elon Musk owning twitter means there's an above zero chance one day he shuts the whole thing down because someone dunked on him too hard, and we can all aspire to be the person that ends the misery
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I can't remember numbers either but I'd still be a better PM than Morrison
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Hey
@AusElectoralCom
, love your work on the whole elections thing. Question! Will voting for a "teal" independent, or even The Greens, undermine democracy? I've seen that claimed a bunch and would hate to be responsible for the end of free elections in Australia. Cheers.
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Here's me. "263 days later"
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Josh Frydenberg up here talking about how big business is going to write to employees urging them all to get vaccinated, as though the problem is a lack of letters from big business and not a lack of vaccine.
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Kevin Rudd being Prime Minister again is such a pandemic thing to have happened
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I get they're starting to parcel off blame to each other, but it's totally possible to be furious at both Scott Morrison and Gladys Berejiklian at the same time. I'm finding it really, really easy.
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Kinda hurting today. Heartbroken. Whatever you're doing today, I hope well. xx
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low key i genuinely think a bunch of the male journalists in this country are a bit peeved that a bunch of the women are clearly much better at this job than they are.
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When Daniel Andrews hits his 3000th day as Premier, which he will this term, he will be immortalised with a statue outside Parliament. I don't have an opinion about this but I am **extremely** looking forward to Peta Credlin and Andrew Bolt's columns that day.
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My sympathies to all the responsible, community minded tradies being made to look like assholes by other people in the profession. I know the feeling!
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Ummmmm.... If Delta is different, why are you doing *less* about it?
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