Dave Kluge
@DaveKluge
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@Footballguys | Jay Cutler Apologist
Colorado Springs, CO
Joined September 2017
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This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to write.
The Justin Fields Era is over.
The Chicago Bears need to draft Caleb Williams.
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A flag isn’t enough. Jamaal Williams deserves a fine and suspension.
My wife asked me why me hips can’t move like that. My kids haven’t stopped crying. We have an appointment today with a crisis counselor, but I’m afraid the damage has already been done.
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My 3-8 fantasy squad coming to ruin someone’s playoff hopes this weekend
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Kadarius Toney in the neutral zone with the game on the line
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How to stop an RPO in two easy steps.
1. Be Aaron Donald
2. Tackle the QB and RB
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I haven’t seen a hit like this since Sean Taylor lit up a punter at the 2007 Pro Bowl
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Setting my fantasy lineups in Week 1 vs setting waiver claims in Week 12
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In hindsight, it’s unbelievable how hard the Jets fumbled the bag.
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The same guy who knocked Travis Hunter out of the game with a dirty hit (
#11
CSU) got shaken out of his shoes for this game-tying TD.
Karma.
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If you start Nyheim Hines this week, he’ll get you 4.3 points.
If you bench him, he’s putting up 28.
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My stud wide receiver on Monday Night Football when I need 2.6 fantasy points
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These promo shots for the NFL Toy Story broadcast are actually awesome.
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The Titans when they realize they could have just extended AJ Brown last year
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The worst part about the 49ers whiffing on Trey Lance is that the next 10 picks were Kyle Pitts, Ja'Marr Chase, Jaylen Waddle, Penei Sewell, Jaycee Horn, Patrick Surtain, DeVonta Smith, Justin Fields, Micah Parson, and Rashawn Slater.
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Me at my fantasy draft not worrying about bye weeks vs me trying to set a lineup in Week 13
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QB scoring leaders in fantasy football:
1. Lamar Jackson
2. Josh Allen
3. Jalen Hurts
4. Patrick Mahomes
5. Lamar Jackson without his rushing
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DeAndre Hopkins, trust me, this isn’t how you want to be remembered.
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Swapping out Cooper Kupp and Zach Ertz for Christian Watson and Cole Kmet on my first-place fantasy team.
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The hatred for Josh McDaniels and Jimmy Garoppolo in this locker room is palpable.
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I just want to see one George Pickens highlight that isn’t blatant OPI.
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One of the hardest days of my life was holding it together on Christmas Day at my in-laws’ house as Alvin Kamara scored 6 TDs against me in a championship matchup.
Me attempting to hold it together in front of my family on Christmas as my fantasy team unravels:
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Jets throwing Zach Wilson on the trade block
Rap: Jets expected to attempt to trade Zach Wilson in offseason.
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No ACL on November 8th, 2021.
Torn ACL on February 13th, 2022.
I’m not a doctor or a mathematician but something here isn’t adding up.
#Ravens
WR Odell Beckham revealed that he found out in Week 9 of the 2021 season that he had no ACL.
He decided to play out the rest of the year without it, he ended the season with a Super Bowl ring.
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You may not like it, but this is peak male form.
Jason Kelce was selected as one of People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” finalists for 2023. He is joined by Timothée Chalamet, Lenny Kravitz, Pedro Pascal, Usher, and Jamie Foxx.
#Eagles
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If you drafted Kadarius Toney and aren't putting him in your starting lineup tonight, why did you draft Kadarius Toney?
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Ja'Marr Chase and Randy Moss are often credited as having the best rookie seasons of all time.
Chase:
81 receptions
1455 yards
13 TDs
Moss:
69 receptions
1313 yards
17 TDs
Then there's Odell Beckham Jr:
91 receptions
1305 yards
12 TDs
Odell did that in 12 games.
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I’ve done over 500 fantasy football drafts this offseason. Real drafts against real people for real money.
If there’s one piece of pre-draft content that you need before you draft, this is it.
Here’s what I’ve learned, who I’m targeting, and strategies I’m implementing. 👇
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Odds Russell Wilson tweets “Iron sharpens iron” before the season kicks off -350
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If you take away all of Lamar Jackson's rushing numbers, he'd be the QB5 in standard fantasy scoring.
If you take away all of Lamar Jackson's passing numbers, he'd be the RB11 in standard fantasy scoring.
This man is a QB1 and RB1 built into one player.
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The 2023 Justin Fields discourse is the recycled 2022 Jalen Hurts discourse which was the same as the 2021 Lamar Jackson discourse which was really just the 2020 Josh Allen discourse which sounded a lot like the 2018 Deshaun Watson discourse.
Guys, it’s ok for a QB to run.
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Joe Mixon is the most bizarre "elite" running back out there. You watch a Bengals game, and he slams into the back of his OL seemingly every play. Then the game ends and he somehow has 29-118-2 rushing and 32 fantasy points.
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In Week 3, Tank Dell clocked his fastest speed of the season, 20.82 mph.
If he is truly 10x faster and hits that speed in a game, 208.2 mph would be an NFL record. For comparison, a Lamborghini Diablo tops out at 202 mph.
Modern medicine is astonishing.
#Texans
’ Tank Dell back running, looks sharp: ‘Hasn’t lost a beat, looks 10 times faster, way ahead of schedule’
@AaronWilson_NFL
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Atlanta Falcons official depth chart released a few days ago.
Now I understand what Cordarrelle Patterson’s “J” stands for.
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Kenny Golladay got a $72M contract this offseason and has scored zero touchdowns.
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NFL rushing leaders through Week 5
1. Nick Chubb (593)
2. Saquon Barkley (533)
3. Nick Chubb after contact (415)
4. Miles Sanders (414)
5. Dameon Pierce (412)
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Imagine it’s 2018.
Someone tells you “In 3 years, Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown, and Todd Gurley won’t be able to find work in the NFL.”
You laugh. They laugh. You walk into bar without a mask. Life is good.
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I wonder what normal people who aren’t watching 14 straight hours of football are doing today
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Did Justin Fields just put together the best single-season highlight reel in NFL history?
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2020 league winners:
- Justin Jefferson
- Brandon Aiyuk
2021 league winners:
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
2022 (potential) league winners:
- Garrett Wilson
- Christian Watson
Note to 2023 me: DRAFT ROOKIE WIDE RECEIVERS
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Kyle Allen and Cam Newton supported Christian McCaffrey and DJ Moore as fantasy weapons.
Baker Mayfield is not.
Meanwhile, Nick Chubb, Kareem Hunt, and David Njoku are looking great in Cleveland. Odell Beckham bounced back last year with the Rams.
Maybe Baker is the problem.
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If Travis Kelce is active tonight, you simply have to play him.
If he’s on your bench, he’s going for 11/186/3.
Of course, if you play him, he’s probably going to be limited and finish the game with 1/9/0.
But that’s just how fantasy football works.
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In a division currently starting Dorian Thompson-Robinson and Jake Browning, Kenny Pickett may be the worst QB.
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NFL rushing leaders
1. Saquon Barkley (931)
2. Derrick Henry (923)
3. Nick Chubb (904)
4. Josh Jacobs (821)
5. Dameon Pierce (772)
6. Justin Fields (749)
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I just saw Najee Harris traded for Rhamondre Stevenson straight up in a redraft league.
Najee managers down so bad right now.
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If Jonathan Taylor is injured, it’s going to impact a lot of fantasy football consolation brackets.
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I’m not sure we’ll ever see a RB as good as Adrian Peterson again.
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Breece Hall’s six-game season was much more impressive than Brock Purdy’s five.
NFL Honors: Brock Purdy, Kenneth Walker III, Garrett Wilson named AP Offensive Rookie of the Year finalists
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Imagine trading three firsts and guaranteeing Deshaun Watson a quarter of a billion dollars when you could have just signed Joe Flacco off the street.
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Why extend a young and ascending stud like AJ Brown when you can simply give DeAndre Hopkins and Calvin Ridley a combined $118M?
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Mike Williams has had either less than 20 or more than 110 yards in every game this season. No in between.
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His name’s Tommy DeVito, Tone. They put him in thinking he’d improve their draft stock but he just keeps winning. Some are saying he’s better than Danny Dimes.
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Check your fantasy league's waiver wire for some of these sneaky pickups before playoffs:
- Rachaad White
- Isiah Pacheco
- Christian Watson
- Justin Jefferson
- Kadarius Toney
- Josh Allen
- Travis Kelce
- David Njoku
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I knew that Mike McDaniel was going to find interesting ways to utilize Tyreek Hill, but I never expected a 50-yard curl route.
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Saquon Barkley: 3 years, $37.7M, $26M guaranteed
Darnell Mooney: 3 years, $39M, $26M guaranteed
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For anyone confused about the trash cans, remember that he has to play the Eagles twice every year
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If my home league doesn't move off of ESPN's fantasy platform next year, I'm leaving.
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Hey, you. Yeah you, reading this right now.
Over the last three weeks, you have as many receiving yards as Kenny Golladay.
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Idea: A fantasy football league where defensive pass interference calls award the receiver half the points the reception would have
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If Le’Veon Bell helped you win a fantasy football league between 2014-2017, here’s a great way to spend those winnings and show some support.
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Tom Brady haters confuse me.
How can you call yourself a fan of the game while hating the best to ever play it? Seems petty.
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I’ve played fantasy football long enough to know how this weekend will play out.
- Trevor Lawrence in my lineup on Thursday night
- Lawrence puts up 6.1 points
- Jalen Hurts is unexpectedly declared active on Saturday
- Hurts puts up 32.7 points on my bench
- I lose by 2 points
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My face when DeeJay Dallas is listed ahead of Zach Charbonnet on the final depth chart
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I can’t wait for the Twitter fallout in Week 10 when David Montgomery is active and Jahmyr Gibbs gets 7 carries and 3 targets
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Deon Jackson put up more fantasy points in his first start than Jonathan Taylor has since Week 11 of last year.
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The Lions just walked into Lambeau and trounced the Packers.
I promise you, not one person on the coaching staff is thinking about Jahmyr Gibbs’ usage.
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No Mike Williams or Joshua Palmer. Keenan Allen banged up. Gerald Everett out.
All signs are pointing to a Quentin Johnston breakout game…
3-31-0 incoming 😤
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Jameis Winston comes in and resuscitates Chris Olave in approximately 30 seconds.
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If the Bears drafted Patrick Mahomes instead of Mitch Trubisky back in 2017, Mahomes would probably be the backup in Buffalo right now.
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Maybe I’m just a sucker, but I think Travis Kelce channeling his inner Ric Flair is fun.
Calling the mayor of Cincinnati a “jabroni” is fun.
Yelling “Burrowhead, my ass!” into the camera is fun.
Sports are about entertainment. Kelce keeps it entertaining and fun.
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I’m glad I invested all of my middle first-round picks on Cooper Kupp and Travis Kelce this year.
The injury risk for RBs was just too high for me to feel comfortable drafting Christian McCaffrey, Austin Ekeler, or Bijan Robinson.
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Starting your fantasy football draft with Najee Harris, CeeDee Lamb, Travis Etienne, Allen Robinson, and George Kittle
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Let’s add Jameis Winston to an offense with Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison next year and see what happens.
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I got sick of drafting RBs in fantasy football who just get injured. So this year, in my home league, I fully committed to Zero RB.
So thankful to have Travis Kelce, Cooper Kupp, Tee Higgins, Christian Watson, and Diontae Johnson on my squad instead of those oft-injured RBs. 🙏
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The face when you know the Jets are giving you a huge contract next offseason
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@HibbingG88
So is smoking cigars after a midseason win over Tommy Devito but let them have their moment
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I was hoping DJ Moore could be “AJ Brown in Philadelphia” or “Stefon Diggs in Buffalo” or “DeAndre Hopkins in Arizona” but never in my wildest dreams did I expect “Randy Moss in New England.”
D.J. Moore is just the 5th player in NFL history with 500+ receiving yards and 5+ TD in his first 5 games with a team.
Seems good
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“Dad, tell me about when Peyton Manning and Tom Brady used to play against each other in these Colts vs Patriots matchups.”
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So many 2-8 fantasy teams are getting Justin Fields, Justin Jefferson, and De’Von Achane back this week just to wreak havoc on the rest of the league.
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Kadarius Toney somehow making and ruining one of the greatest plays in NFL history is a very fitting microcosm of his career.
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What’s more painful for Browns fans?
Watching Joe Flacco outplay Deshaun Watson or watching Baker Mayfield look like a franchise QB in Tampa Bay?
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The Colts really saw what Justin Fields looked like starting his career with no supporting cast and were like “Yeah let’s do that with Anthony Richardson.”
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Hot take: Russell Wilson finishes his current contract as a Houston Texan.
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DJ Moore’s 17-game pace with Justin Fields at QB
136 targets
109 receptions
1,800 yards
15 touchdowns
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I pored over the last 30 years of first-round QB data and found out that drafting at No. 1 overall gives teams overwhelmingly better odds at finding success for their franchise.
My gut told me all top-10 picks QBs the same.
But the data painted a very different picture.
🧵👇
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I’ve never owned a stock that split, but imagine it feels something like this.
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What if Aaron Rodgers isn't really that good and was just bailed out by Davante Adams, Jordy Nelson, Randall Cobb, Greg Jennings, James Jones, Donald Driver, Ryan Grant, Aaron Jones, Eddie Lacy, AJ Dillon, James Starks, Jermichael Finley, Jimmy Graham, and Martellus Benett?
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The fantasy football trade market has become nauseatingly boring in recent years.
Everyone is trying to "buy low" and "sell high" with the same players values, which makes for a stale market.
Really, depending on your record, you should be targeting different players. 👇
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This year I told myself “I’m sick of playing the sleeper TE game and losing. I’m going to play it safe and draft Travis Kelce, Mark Andrews, and Darren Waller.”
Sometimes I hate this silly game we play.
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Michael Penix is older than Kyle Pitts, Drake London, and Bijan Robinson.
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Btw Odell’s catch was so much better than Pickens’ and it isn’t even close
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2023 free agent running backs:
Saquon Barkley
Damien Harris
Josh Jacobs
Tony Pollard
Miles Sanders
David Montgomery
Devin Singletary
Rashaad Penny
Alexander Mattison
Kareem Hunt
Darrell Henderson
Jamaal Williams
This offseason is going to be madness.
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Roquan Smith is Roquan Smith. But a first-round pick could be anything… It could even be a Roquan Smith!
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No JuJu Smith-Schuster. No Mecole Hardman.
Kadarius Toney is a top-20 fantasy WR this week.
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