I am so tired that I almost walked into the men's restroom because I saw the picture on the door and thought "I'm wearing pants too"

So far today I made my mother curse because I told her I want a black Christmas tree.... #rebelchild #HappyThanksgiving

Shop my Cyber week sale and support small businesses! 10% off when you buy 3 items or more - now thru December 2nd! https://t.co/6vz9vdwaMn #etsy #eclecticwitchus #etsyfinds #etsygifts #etsysale #etsycoupon #shopsmall

Just got my first five-star review — nothing makes me prouder than another happy customer. https://t.co/OVx9JpFXnB #etsy #handmade #spells #magick #eclecticwitchus #etsyfinds #etsygifts

sometimes when I can't sleep, I write poetry 😴

ARE YOUR KIDS TEXTING ABOUT CORONAVIRUS BRB- breathing really bad SMH- sanitize my hands TTYL- think that you'll live? ROFL-running out (of) fluids. lame! NVM- need virus meds

Either delivery drivers are crazy busy and successful right now, or broke because everyone is afraid to get food handed to them by a sick stranger. There is no in between.

Bitcoin: lifechanger #girlsnight

some employers are banning the phrase "ok boomer" considering it discrimination. here r some fun alternatives u can use 2 stay ahead of them: okey dokey about to croakey 10-4 dinosaur very well sir old-as-hell fine with me elderly got it, geriatric eat a ass mr. old as grass

when i bought my giant crystal ball the lady looked me in the eye and said "whatever you do, never EVER leave it uncovered when youre not home" and i said "oh wow because of spirits?" and she said "what? no bc if the sun hits it weird it'll burn down your house" important lesson

Help! Rent my apartment! https://t.co/8tTuALxtCr

HAHAHAHAHA

Nothing like a giant roach crawling under your feet to wake you up in the morning.... #whoneedscoffee

Alright TXState alum - who said it? “I can’t play that - my thumbs are too small!!”

I love when people call me Matilda when they think I’m being too opinionated or political Because Matilda, who incited a riot at her school and got rid of an abusive tyrant at age six, wouldn’t be political at all

POV: you've been waiting for me all summer and you're so glad i'm finally here

I Write Sins Not Anti-Vaxx Rants On Facebook