My tiny form floats inside the office watercooler, curled up in a happy little ball. When someone dispenses water I giggle (the bubbles tickle me!) When the water runs out I get sad, and my tears refill the tank. My boss still has not noticed I am not at my desk.

(Stumbling upon tiny mound of rabbit bones in the forest) oh no… 🫣 (calling my mom) hey is dad there? he’s not?? um, just hypothetically, how big would his pile of bones be 😭

@Daggerlad2 I made a drawing for you, I hope you like it

I don't care who you are, if you're an ant, or a cricket, or a butterfly. Sugar water is delicious

Everything dies warmie, that's a fact But maybe everything that dies someday comes back Put your snowboots on, aim your scope with malice And meet me tonight in Drill City Nightmare Dallas

blog! it's all about the war-torn ice moon, Europa. my thoughts on it trending, some of my fav posts, and details about the TTRPG zine 📜✍️ https://t.co/nSOHcPNrIP

https://t.co/pr8TB8Q7Hd

Thank you oh so much to the wickedly talented @Sharp_Sticks for immortalizing my brother's D&D character of six years and going strong. Check out Finn if you need some sick art!!

BULLY: give me one reason not to beat the brakes off you twerp ME: (pulling trident out of my locker) I got three reasons for you right here. HUPP *I fling the trident into his chest*

Date: Mind if I smoke? Me: nay, *I blow flames from my mouth to light her cig* Date: Something’s different about you… Me: 😌 aye, me farther was a droogan, an’ his farther before hem Date: Your accent 😍 Me: *dragon wings rip out of my back* 😖it’s the bloody transfarmation

My dad’s fishing buddies had to deal with too many bodily hook removals. Classic Todd solution.

https://t.co/WZEhunhv8S

Experienced the new The Cure album on a hike today

tiktok hot girl: honey your greatest insecurity is literally invisible to everyone else. go out and slay me, stitching it, head shaped exactly like a W: (staring silently at the camera) my 1 follower: the sun always sets in the direction of bro’s head

My dad has taken up writing beautiful poetry

More fishing text poetry from Dad

Hired a local Meat Boy to do some work around the farm @god_brane

My interpretation of Don Quixote De La Mancha and Sancho Panza

if i was a character in a horror video game id be constantly battling psychosis, have no fast walk option, and could only use the candle from my baptism to light my way. and every cutscene would involve a flashback of my dad teaching me how to pray

hollow

Guy: *pulling up to parking spot* Me: *catching my breath* spot’s taken🧎‍♂️ Guy: You just sprinted over and kneeled here. you’re not even in a car Me: 🧎‍♂️ Guy: …ok. *driving up to next spot* My wife: 🧎‍♀️*breathing heavily*