Chelsea Fagan
@Chelsea_Fagan
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CEO of The Financial Diet and author of A Perfect Vintage.
Joined March 2011
have just been informed that the two absolute most terrifying popular girls from my high school class are now married to each other with a baby and i fear we need the romcom stat.
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no greater or more precious bond in this life than the one between people who don't want their pickle and people who want an extra pickle.
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how did none of you tell me that there is a romcom on netflix with a male lead that has cameron from ferris bueller energy and a 92% on rotten tomatoes (which for a romcom is the equivalent of winning a pulitzer prize)??
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the other day a bartender told me his high school did a performance of RENT where they couldn't say AIDS so all the characters had diabetes.
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it’s been about four months since we started our four-day workweek experiment and i can honestly say that the idea of a five-day workweek now seems insane looking back, both because three days are necessary for a proper weekend and no job truly needs all five days.
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the entire mental health profession may never recover from the damage that tiktok therapists are doing
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in some ways this latest COVID wave feels the most depressing, as it's genuinely hard to tell what we're even reaching for anymore. everything feels simultaneously accessible and irresponsible, and you don't feel 100% good about any choice.
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as someone who has watched about 100,000 hours of trash reality television, elon musk conceiving twins via IVF with his mistress while his main chick was pregnant with their second child is maybe literally the messiest thing i've ever heard of.
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shakira is so me honestly bc if you cheated on me with a girl half my age after a decade of marriage and two kids i simply will not be taking any kind of high road. i'm producing the biggest hit of my career that's just three straight minutes of humiliating you.
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we’ve had the “men need to put the toilet seat down” conversation, they either get it or they don’t. the real discourse everyone needs to listen up for is putting the lid down when you flush. flushing with the lid up is waging biological warfare on everything in the bathroom.
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once you hit your 30s as a woman, the algorithms start feeding you a genre of content that can only be described as “cutesie-fied scenes of marital contempt” and it is so bleak
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i am so upset that this is 90s romcom level chemistry. doing my absolute best not to stan this
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this man is like the only person who has ever actually gotten the superhuman confidence and success promised by a cult. he's like the top .01% girlie they bring on stage at an MLM conference to show what's possible
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why as women are our clothing options now 'extra on the set of euphoria' or 'extra on the set of little house on the prairie'.
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sometimes you see a person running in such a way that you know they're doing this instead of going to therapy.
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ok i truly couldn't tell you a single thing about kamala harris' tenure as VP but there is no one on this earth i'd rather have a two glass of white wine lunch with, like this woman is just vibing
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ok this is almost beside the point but i can name at least five things your mom has done to alter/improve her appearance with like 95% accuracy lol
Letting yourself age gracefully is far more beautiful than plastic surgery. Here’s proof: . Madonna at 64 My mum at 64
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it's officially october which means getting dark at 4:30 season is about to have its boot on our neck. please give me your tips for not breaking down mentally that don't involve those stupid sun lamps.
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me protecting myself from the ever-creeping sense of doom by refusing to consider anything beyond a week from now
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literally all i want to do is clean my kitchen and then stare lovingly at it from the doorway lol
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cannot stop thinking about how creepy that viral thread about the couple on the plane is. it's unreal how the internet has poisoned our brains & concept of basic privacy so much that u could be 100 tweets deep on something like that & not feel weird about it.
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every year it's clearer to me that not being a parent is one of the greatest & most consistent sources of joy in my life. it allows me everything i most value: time, freedom, spontaneity, indulgence, and the ability to dedicate myself wholly to any project, goal, or cause i like.
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it's important to remind yourself on an extremely regular basis: almost nobody thinks about you, is genuinely interested in you, remembers that thing you did, etc. and this should be both liberating and also deepen your affection for the few people who actually do.
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just saw a tiktok of a cake being cut and it’s actually a watermelon with some kind of topping on it and the fitness queen birthday girl was so excited and let me just say that if anyone ever does that to me i’m walking out of the restaurant and possibly setting it on fire.
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the craziest part of this interview is that you know for as terrible as this all is, she’s not even saying a tenth of the full truth, AND she’s giving them the grace of not naming names.
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this is going ~off, so to answer a few FAQs:.-we do a 32-hour workweek.-no, we didn't dock people's pay.-re: "we couldn't do this at my job, we need coverage," your employer could hire more people, but they're currently getting away with paying themselves more and overworking you.
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i have seen several reality storylines where someone had an 'oops' baby behind their spouse's back and it was considered basically the ultimate form of betrayal. but to be making regular trips to the fertility clinic with your mistress??? actual inconceivable sociopath shit.
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literally no tech device will ever feel as inexplicably chic and powerful as the blackberry in its heyday. i truly thought i was running a boutique PR firm on that thing.
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the main thing you notice in a four-day workweek is how many pointless meetings and redundant tasks you used to have. it’s not even that you’re suddenly insanely productive, you’re just not filling an arbitrary amount of time.
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mmm ok but can we not project our YA novel fantasies onto a 15 year old girl who is in at best an extremely toxic home environment and is now the subject of unfathomable media scrutiny
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emily in paris boldly asks the question 'what if a tampon commercial lasted for three seasons'.
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the way i NEED him on the next season of white lotus.
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starbucks baristas when they see the latest "secret menu" going viral on tiktok for pumpkin spice season
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regular reminder that we switched to a 4-day workweek earlier this year and will never go back (32 hours, no pay cut, mon-thurs). revenue increased, everyone's happier, the same work gets done. and also three days is the minimum for a good weekend lol
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This is the relationship a public should have with its elected officials. You either serve us and are accountable to us, or you're gone. Hero worship of politicians, turning them into celebrities, congratulating them for doing the minimum -- it has to stop.
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this comment on our video about celebrities & influencers gaslighting us about beauty should be a required disclaimer on beauty magazines, like the health warnings they put on cigarettes
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it's interesting how so many of americans' beloved travel experiences: vegas, disneyland, european capitals, even cruise ships, are about enjoying the walkability and mixed-use town centers we constantly vote against creating in our own communities
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this movie is so good!! glen powell is so charming!! the romcom is alive and well!!!!
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Weight Watchers probably regretting their promoted hashtag tonight
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another day, another tweet begging you guys to find another woke CEO to retweet whose ex-wife did not credibly accuse him of years of abuse including literally waterboarding her
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today i was in a taxi in barcelona, stopped at a light, and all of a sudden i see a tall, handsome man in a nice coat walking down the sidewalk and i think mm nice, then i realize it's my literal husband, so i flag him down, he hops in the taxi, and we go get lunch. iconic tbh.
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like there is absolutely no way the woman on the right does not have at least *some* of the following: .-veneers.-botox.-lip fillers/flip.-blepharoplasty.-tanner.-laser/peels.-balayage.-spray tan.-a neck/face lift.and listen the girl looks great!! but please be for real lmao.
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prince harry truly in his livejournal era. he is on aol instant messenger checking to see if the royal family is online and then changing his away message to a song lyric that's clearly about them.
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sooo many romance writers here talking about how they’re doing this and let me just say, if it pans out, you know where to throw some royalties
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Need to hear more about the graphic designer on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's campaign because her main poster was stirring as hell -- it manages to feel both vintage without being cheesy and modern without being dry
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thinking about a bathroom with lush, dramatic green tile work
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i think the most maddening thing about this stage of COVID discourse is that it's basically just the people who take it seriously fighting with each other about how seriously to take it, while the unvaccinated are basically just YOLOing with total impunity.
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The only thing that would make this Suez Canal ship story better is if Elon Musk inserted himself into the situation, loudly offered a useless solution, and then accused a crew member of being a pedophile.
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an emotion i miss is being at a restaurant w a friend and wanting to order something totally over the top, like a huge sundae, or a fishbowl cocktail, or something they flambé tableside, and your friend is like "i was thinking the same thing!!" and you giddily order it together.
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i've been reading a lot about longevity and apparently the best thing to do is get moderate, regular activity but not go too crazy. so basically we need to stop idolizing instagram fitness gurus and start idolizing the old guy who walks around your block in jeans every morning.
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do you ever think about how hot you could be if you were rich.
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quinta brunson is so relatable because if i got my own show the first thing i’m doing is writing myself into a slow-burn romance with an extremely hot actor.
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at least professionally, most young people should not have impostor syndrome. like half the executives at most companies can barely use email.
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i think cosmetic procedures are great, i fully plan to get a facelift when the time comes, but we need to be real that "aging gracefully" in pop culture/social media is just a question of people who have the money and discernment to get tasteful procedures rather than bad ones.
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The ultimate thing I can’t relate to in both pop culture and rich people behavior is wanting to survive an apocalypse. Please know that on day two of civilization collapsing I am ready to go.
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i feel like our cultural obsession w skincare has kind of arisen in the vacuum left by the (open) obsession w being thin, in that it's just another way to make something that is primarily about money and genetics be some kind of marker of how conscientious & in-control you are.
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A lot of things that we think take a lot of courage actually just take a lot of money.
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i sometimes lose sleep over a dumb thing i said at a party seven years ago, and meanwhile people are out here making entire IG story highlights of themselves blatantly disrespecting social distancing guidelines. people without anxiety are fucking wild.
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the adult equivalent of finding out santa isn't real is realizing that except at more extreme ends of the spectrum, working out has almost nothing to do with how your body looks, but you just have to keep doing it forever so you don't feel like you're decaying.
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my financial strategy is to make my home a place i enjoy being so much that i never go anywhere and therefore never spend money.
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a cool thing about twitter is how every woman who starts an account is issued one (1) guy who replies extremely sincerely to every single thing she tweets.
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2021 was the year i bought my dream apartment in manhattan 💁♀️
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also i've seen people saying "well the couple was ok with being outed by the media and the thread itself so??" which good for them but i want to live in a society where we operate on the assumption that strangers don't want their private conversations turned into viral content.
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nothing fills me with a visceral disdain more than those IG/tiktok couples where one partner is american and the other is foreign and the whole concept is 'look at my spouse doing wacky foreign things.' like please have some dignity.
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it’s an extremely undervalued privilege to grow up with parents who supported and hyped you up no matter what. like if you had the kind of parents who cheered the loudest as you came in dead last at the track meet… it’s like having a secret superpower.
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no one wants to hear this but making friends as an adult is very similar to the early stages of dating. it will be awkward at first, you have to actively make plans and follow up, and you need to push through until things become more effortless
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listening to, live tweeting, and photographing someone's private conversation for literal hours is the kind of thing you should be able to press charges against.
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nothing is more embarrassing than people who brag about how much they work. like buddy your total inability to manage your time or carve out space for your personal life is the opposite of aspirational.
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walking in LA and this guy getting out of his car was like “you walk a lot!! i saw you walking a couple of hours ago over on melrose and now you’re here!” and he was 100% right. i love that the simple act of walking here makes you a memorable side character.
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i don't say this lightly but for a lot of people on this website there is a point at which you'd be better off doing some volunteering than going to more therapy lol.
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something that has been very helpful to me is remembering that if my part to play in this pandemic is staying as much as possible in the comfort of my own home, i am an indecently lucky person who owes everything to the people on the front lines of this. it's the least i can do.
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some days i'm filled with so much contentment and fulfillment i could cry, and it's wild to think that my whole life i received the message that this is impossible as a woman without children. i'm so glad i didn't listen to that, and live in a time when this life is available!.
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objectively dunkin coffee tastes better than starbucks, but starbucks is a consistent product, whereas the dunkin experience is pure chaos. is your iced coffee going to be barely sweet, or the sweetest thing you've ever tasted? only the dunkin employee knows, and he isn't telling.
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unpopular opinion perhaps but i do not want any media to integrate, analyze, or even passively include covid. i don't want to see sitcom actors in masks or watch movies about falling in love over zoom. i would like to get my vaccine and wipe this era from my memory forever.
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a very important subgenre of man is the guy in horror/action movies whose job is to push up his glasses and remark that something is very wrong here
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taking a train and feeling a familiar flush of rage at how much the automobile industry has undermined american society. we could have fast, cheap public transit. we could live more connected lives. we could live in walkable communities. we deserve so much better than car culture.
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every day i am so grateful that my husband has almost zero internet presence and no interest in social media. literally top five attractive quality in a man.
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okay so obviously having children just so you won’t be lonely is not a good reason to have them, but i also think most people don’t realize that nearly half of seniors in care facilities have *no* visitors in an average year, and most of those people have kids.
Millennials who are very cavalier about not having children are in for a shock when they enter their 40s & realize life is only half over. What do you do at that point? Keep trying to be sexy & have fun? I expect to see a lot of sadness & confusion about what to do at that point.
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zara clothing exists in this liminal space where you can ask a woman where she got a cute item and she'll invariably say it was from zara, but then when you actually go in there yourself, it is nothing but unwearable chaos.
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Quitting your job with no backup? Money! Calling off a wedding? Money! Starting over in a new city? Money! It’s very easy to have the courage of your convictions when you have a safety net, and very difficult to do anything on principle when you don’t.
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seth rogen once said that he and his wife get as much joy out of not having kids as people get out of having kids and WOW has that been a mood the past few days lol.
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someone explain why this season of the crown has a full-on infomercial for prince charles’ charity and not even ten seconds of the revenge dress
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someone valuing "niceness" highly is a red flag for me. "niceness" is very different from kindness, people who value "niceness" generally mean a passive/superficial neutrality that prioritizes civility over any real kind of meaning or conviction. imo.
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forgive me twitter but i'm about to Sincere Tweet (TM) for a few minutes on the whole "self-care/emotional labor/form messages for your close friends" phenomenon that for some reason seems to be reaching a fever pitch right now, and i find deeply upsetting.
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is there any feeling in the world more chic than happening to be in the same foreign city as a friend at the same time and getting to meet up with them?? like damn did nancy meyers write this.
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the best thing i've started doing in life is reaching out to women i admire or just think seem v cool & telling them so. not only does it sometimes lead to real friendships or collaboration, but it's also the most effective way to subvert potential envy into mutual affirmation.
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Decoupling “working out” from “losing weight” in your mind is one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health.
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the most accurate dragging i've ever received is when my friend referred to me as acting 'like the mayor of the airport' whenever i fly because i'm always dressed up in fancy clothes and saying hello to everyone.
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just finished encanto and whatever magical substance they sprinkled on “we don’t talk about bruno”… i’m trying to buy it by the pound.
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can you all PLEASE stop with this tedious 'adam driver isn't hot' or 'adam driver is hot in this special way only certain people understand' discourse and just look at his gq shoots like normal people
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Couples who flirt publicly on social media frankly need to grow up and just leak a sex tape.
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one thing about me is that i have the opposite of impostor syndrome lol. i trust my instincts, i highly value my own work and time, and i don't really care if other people don't always get it. most professional spheres are full of deeply untalented or unserious people anyway.
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here’s the thing about caesar salads: nine out of every ten you order will be a wilted clump of mediocrity and impossibly bad parmesan, but that tenth one will so fundamentally change you as a person that you will keep ordering them in spite of the overwhelmingly bad statistics.
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if you guys don't stop putting these dumb celebrity men on blast for clout i stg. ben affleck has just the right divorced guy energy to hit on any of us given the right circumstances, and this is ruining it
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truly nothing stops you in your tracks IRL more than a much-older couple who have clearly been together forever and still look incredible for each other. in a culture where beauty is conflated with youth and aspiration with newness, lived-in elegance and romance are unmatched.
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