Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.

Secrets out…I don’t actually edit my own videos. I just handle the photoshops. @ShadowLion

I’ve been dealing with the pandemic as well as the next guy, but today, I drove to three local chipotles before I found one that was open and that is where I draw the line. This is officially bullshit

The fact that the reason a large number of people wanted KC to lose was because his fiancé and his little brother is wild. I don’t hate him, could possible even root for him, pretty likable dude, but the people in your camp are garbage.

You can “win” an argument and still not learn a thing. Work for the solution rather than the meaningless “win”.

If all else fails, screw the Supreme Court, whoever can do the biggest train track of nose candy without going into cardiac arrest gets the Oval Office. I said what I said.

Wut.....

people who keep read receipts on fear nothing

I like the term burning the candle at both ends. But if doesn’t exactly cut it. My candle, is in a crock pot, or maybe in an air fryer in satans asshole would be more accurate.

A memoir of my life

If you have a problem with me or am bothered by something I did, your absolute worst plan of action if you want a positive outcome is to make snarky tweets and comments on social media indirectly about me

We do not deserve golden retrievers

Me: “hey andrew gonna fire up some steaks tonight maybe you coukd come and we could play some cornhole for fun!” @_ARideout - “40 bucks a game or I ain’t fuckin comin”

Skin care routine-college girlfriend bought me two tubes of bath & body aftershave + lotion. They’re still 83% full 6 years later. I use them exclusively when I have a sunburn and no aloe on hand. I’ve had a total of 7 pimples and zero wrinkles. Real comprehensive routine.

“She’s got 3 kids with him of course she’s licked his asshole”

I CAN NOT stop looking at murder hornet memes

I got 1 marriage in me. And that’s it. That’s the move.

Adjust those batting gloves a few extra times today. Happy Nomar Day!

Pops extended release adderall at 10pm.... 245am- charge nurse “we are sending you home early” 0500 in bed-

Hahahah @hal_bick hahahaha