Ceeks Thee Stallion
@CJ_Kitts
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I tell my mum something in confidence, she tells my sister and tells her not to tell me. My sister tells me and tells me not to tell my mum she told me ????????????????
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Asking your sibling to stop somewhere and bring you something on their way home is like changing the course of their life .. the DRAMA!
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Can’t believe the signature I used to practice writing as a child in school is what’s now on all my adult documents 🥴
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Wakadinali absolutely didn’t need to snap that hard on Geri Inengi 😮💨
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My boss just asked me if I'd like a drink and I told him I'm not drinking any alcohol this week. It's 12:01pm. He meant coffee. I want to scream
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Where do you go in Nairobi if you don’t wanna be out with 16 year olds, fraud boys or over-40 cheers baba’s ?? Asking for a few friends
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This is so embarrassing
Kenya is building the world's new most expensive road, 27km
Jomo Kenyatta International Airport-Westlands Highway ($583.821 million).
China Road and Bridge Corporation is estimated to make a $1.020 billion profit. They will run it for 27 years (2023 - 2049).
Source: The Star KE
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When are they gonna make Arimis in a retractable lip balm??
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Before you watch this, familiarise yourself with:- 1. Cambridge Analytica’s involvement in Kenya’s last general elections, 2. The fact that Kenya has NO data protection laws. Then, process the fact that we just had the largest data collection exercise the country has ever seen
Trailer for the Netflix documentary about Cambridge Analytica: ‘The Great Hack’. Out 24th July!
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Politics aside, Martha Karua's nomination is a huge step in the advancement of women's leadership and general participation in civil society in Kenya. Huge step!
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My biggest flaw is that I’m not romantically attracted to women
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Safaree is a prime example of why you should never give the loudest guy in the room ANY time!
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One thing I don’t like about Kenya is how all the festivals at the coast are tailored to one specific music genre & demographic. Very lame
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I just know Real Housewives of Nairobi is about to disappoint me. What is Vera doing there???
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No longer accepting anyone around me too proud to sincerely apologise, accept wrongdoing and remedy situations. Neither can I accept unforgiving people. Everyone makes mistakes.
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Some of you will die if you don't wake up and show us your parents cars
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Safe to say Burna Boy is Africa's biggest music export?
Burna’s “Love, Damini Summer Tour” breaks the record for the biggest African tour in the US🇺🇸 (beating “MIL Tour”).
While his “Spacedrift” tour still holds record for the biggest African tour in the Europe.
(THREAD)
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Once you fall off the Nairobi club rotation you really don't ever get back on & you're better off for it
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The Kenyan Government sending flowers to NHS staff in England is the most tone-deaf gesture I’ve ever seen in my life
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God is opening these doors quicker than expected, I’m excited 🤩 I give all thanks to him and imma pull up, show up and handle business
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The people I feel the most concerned for are those waiting for things to go back to normal. The sooner you realise “normal” left town and isn’t coming back, the sooner you can start to figure out what that means for you personally
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We can scream Tristan is trash to hell and high water (which is TRUE), but it still won’t change the fact that Khloe has had every opportunity to leave that man and just won’t. So who really is to blame here?
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Everything seams so bleak atm. God, please see us safely through 2020 cause we’ve seen how anything could happen. So make sure you’re spending every day choosing love, choosing happiness and choosing yourself.
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And on the 7th day when God rested, he realised he forgot about men’s feet
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The Independent Police Oversight Authority (set up after police officers killed hundreds of Kenyans during ‘07 post election violence) has, to this day, secured only 2 convictions from over 9200 complaints! Sorry, but arming SECURITY GUARDS is a danger to all Kenyans. ALL.
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You may have read my tweets, but you don’t know me. So pls tuheshimiane
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Might as well throw my hat in the race since I’m job-hunting and I know KQ dgaf at this point
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My current boss started his undergrad at 24. He’s now running his own company at 35 that operates (strategically) out of 10 countries. Oh, and he’s stacking his properties as well. I stay inspired.
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The colour of the sky in Nairobi today is the promise of good things to come 💙
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I just want the love of my life to know I’m here & I’m tired of waiting. Pull up on me
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You can agree to disagree, but I’d rather you not right now.
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When will you people stop saying hi to people you talk shit about? Keep that fake shit away from me I beg.
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Honestly, if I block you on everything and you don’t try email me you’re not serious about anything my friend.
my ex blocked me on everything after an argument once and then when she unblocked me she asked why i didn’t try to talk to her - she said i could’ve emailed her
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When will we discuss the fact that knee-high boots are the most violent expression of skinny privilege?
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Picture? How bout a video 🤗
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Paying tax is painful, but paying tax in Kenya is like stubbing your toe on a low, poorly finished tile and cement step you didn't see 💔
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The video of Wizkid trying to carry Tems has absolutely finished me today 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Loyalty is an extremely rare quality to find in people these days.
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Woke up ready to commit 100% to myself in this thing called life. Wish me luck guys
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Six months ago I started my fitness journey which I'm so proud to say I've stuck with and remained consistent in. I start my clean(er)-eating journey today and I expect this one to be much harder but one thing about me, IMMA GET IT DONE! Wish me luck guys and stay tuned... ❤️😈
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I really wanna book myself into a lush hotel, spend my afternoon swimming and reading a book by the pool. Then spend my evening in bed ordering room service and binge-watching 90 day fiancé 😌
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I just wanna know if the boda rider is okay, cause what kind of ride!!!!?? 😂😂😂😂
This is how
@baoboxcafe
delivered my pizza, imagine opening the box and seeing this 🤦🏽♀️
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Can’t believe I just spent 800 bob on 6 samosas at Artcaffè. I feel sick
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Accepting MPESA congratulatory messages for Chanelle. Rest assured, she will receive 🙏🏾🙏🏾 Thanks in advance
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Develop, expand and nurture your network constantly! A situation has affirmed that to me today and I thought I should share. Almost everyone is valuable
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Always comes thru
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Bridgerton really wasn't giving this season. Storyline was anti-climatic as hell
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Wow.. just watched an IG story of someone crying at her friend’s birthday dinner sharing memories of them together. The whole table went round sharing similar memories with her. My friends are really some big bastards
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Need to recreate this lewk soon! Colour never used to be my thing, now I want to try everything!
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Shooting your shot with career crush's is just 1000000 times more nerve-wrecking than romantic situations
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While some of you are arguing, Baby Future is living his best life. My little G has two dads- one gives him advanced emotional support and care, whilst the other drops BIG bags on him. What has your one done for you today?? I thought so.
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It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat-race that is life in your 20s but I’m thankful for all that has gone, and continues to go well in my life
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I want someone's son to take me to see the gorillas in Rwanda
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It’s exhausting being Kenyan. Having to even explain or address what’s wrong with this stock image is just— exhausting.
We celebrate our medical heroes with an exclusive offer. Healthcare workers can book tickets by 30th Sep 20 & get up to 50% off in Business and Economy class to 20+ destinations. Visit your nearest KQ office or visit for more. Ts&Cs apply.
@KmpdcOfficial
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Forgot to turn off my camera and my whole team including my boss just saw me vaping. Send help.
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Whoever said LinkedIn is full of story-tellers wasn't lying 😂😂😂
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Two friends who visited me in Nairobi from London and Lagos (at different times) had never been to Kenya before and could not stop remarking how beautiful and green Nairobi was. I almost want to close my eyes while driving down Waiyaki Way now. It hurts.
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Can y’all retweet with ur fav selfie video!?? Trying to see some beautiful people
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In all honesty, being an influencer seems like hot trash. All events that occur in your life- bad or good become content you have to create for wide eyes to consume. Please, next
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Hey guys! Trying something new here, so check out my latest article: Negotiation key to restoring business confidence (NOT a long read, I promise!!)
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I don’t believe in following people on social media purely because you know them irl. Follow those you wanna follow
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Why do people get so offended when you don’t want to share your vape????????? Please read the room
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Not at all comfortable with the way money is flying out of my account rn. I hate December
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Not yet where I need my skin to be but we getting there! Best form of self care tbh ✨
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Lady Leshurr was booked by this cretin from Nairobi Diaries and Perfect Match, and now he’s trying to extort her???? I. AM. DEADDDDDDD 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
He said he’s going to book Stormzy & J Hus next 🤦🏾♀️ this is what donny looks like so u can put a face to all this madness 😩
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How your existence can just trigger some people is hilarious
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Blessed beyond measure. What an incredible birthday weekend, spent with the most incredible people 💛
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Likewise, your boyfriend’s friends girlfriends are 👏🏾 not 👏🏾 your 👏🏾 friends 👏🏾
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As expected, Kenyan men have turned the extremely violent and disgusting Forest Road attack on the woman driver into a gender war. Wrong is wrong and should be condemned as such. Happy
#InternationalWomensDay
, but if I’m honest there isn’t anything happy about this one
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This Rihanna news has absolutely discombobulated me!! 😭😭😭
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Just a reminder before your weekend commences that men are the biggest fucking clowns 😊
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“I uSe MeN’s HyGiEnE pRodUcTS!!!! ThEy wOrK sOoOoO mUcHHH bEtTeR fOr MeEEEeeEE”... meanwhile you smell like war
The smell of men’s healthcare stuff is always so shit man they try and make it as masculine as possible. Gun powder scented shampoo and engine oil soap
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🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️
Women with nose rings will be the end of me, show me those nose rings please 🥺🥺🥺
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Can’t believe they’re bringing Buju to Nairobi and it’s at Impala! 😒
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After a year of not working out, I started CrossFit about a month ago and wheeeeeeeeww chile, the gains bout to be sweet cuz I’ve never pushed my body this hard before.
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Typing “Dangote broke” and going home after a long day in the office must have been a wild experience
Dangote broke, doesn’t have $1.1 billion needed to complete refinery: Fitch
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We’re finished.
NO MANDATORY quarantine for passengers arriving in Kenya from other countries if they do not show flu symptoms: Transport CS Macharia
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Explain to me like I am a child, please. What is a flat tummy gel?
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Remember when you guys used to ask guys to Inbox (1). How are the kids?
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If you weren’t in bed before 9pm last night you are demonic
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