Boz Tchividjian
@BozT
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Attorney advocate for abuse survivors, Founder of GRACE (@netgrace_org), Adjunct professor, Author & Speaker.
Joined February 2009
Putting aside our “religious” work will often open our eyes & hearts to the beaten & bruised laying in the dirt who have given up hope.
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A Christian leader who engages in sexual misconduct should be terminated, not allowed to resign. It's not complicated.
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The continued fascination so many evangelicals have with a man who was found liable by a jury of sexual assault and then who mocked the victim as an audience cheered him on explains so much about why sexual abuse continues to permeate within the evangelical world.
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Pastors who use their positions to engage in sexual contact with others should be removed and be directed to move on to another profession…and we should not apologize for it. It’s time for the Church to stop applying law to victims and grace to victimizers.
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Ditto. My mom (his sister) is stranded in North Carolina, and his focus is on standing next to Trump. in Georgia. Wow. .
I’m glad he had the time and resources to fly to Georgia just so he could stand next to Trump. While his 79 yr old sister ,my mom, is stranded with no food or water. #wwjd.
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@Franklin_Graham @realDonaldTrump It no longer surprises me the length so called evangelicals will go in order to stay in bed with this anti-Christ. Why not be honest and admit that there is nothing this godless goon could say or do in which you would condemn him and walk away. He has become your Jesus.
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Josh Duggar was given a pass by many within the conservative Christian world after sexually abusing his sisters because celebrating a twisted view of a “biblical family” in the “culture war” was more important than truth, justice, and children. His arrest is no surprise.
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So weary of professing Christians who define others almost exclusively as "liberal" or "conservative". Such a worldview simply objectifies others so that we can feel "right" and "safe". At the end of the day, it's nothing but old fashion self-righteousness. that Jesus hated.
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“Trump’s evangelical supporters have forfeited the right to ever again argue that character counts in America’s political leaders. They might try, but if they do, they will be met with belly laughs.” @Peter_Wehner
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A heavy hearted bravo to CT! Well said on so many levels. I believe my grandfather would have had a similar perspective. Thank you.
From Christianity Today’s editor in chief
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“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” L.R. Knost.
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When @Franklin_Graham and @albertmohler use their voices to defend and embrace Trump, they do so because that is what their money donating constituents are now demanding. It’s all about money and power, not Jesus.
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Disclosing abuse by a pastor doesn’t “hurt” the church, or “harm” the testimony of the Gospel. It actually brings much needed truth and light into the church, and is a sobering reminder that the Gospel is all about Jesus, not “beloved” church leaders.
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Just because a sex offender has “accepted Jesus” does not mean that person is safe. If they’ve truly accepted Jesus, they’ll embrace any and all boundaries imposed upon them by church leadership and won’t object to the congregation being notified about their sex offender status.
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As someone who knew and loved Billy Graham (“Daddy Bill”), I’m sure if he were still alive that he would say 1) stop calling it the “Billy Graham rule” (he didn’t name it) and 2) Christians have once again taken a personal commitment, distorted it, and then turned it into a rule.
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A church leader (young or old) who sexually victimizes anyone (child or adult) should never again be in a position of leadership. ever.
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“When we confuse the nation with the church, it may not do any particular damage to the nation, but it will do irreparable harm to the church.” @BrianZahnd.
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Circumstances suggest that I send this tweet out again: Pastors who learn about the sexual abuse of a congregation member should stop everything to listen, grieve, and take decisive and ongoing actions that demonstrate genuine and personal care for the wounded.
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So churches are now in the business of “restoring” child sexual offenders back into the pulpit? Seriously?? And these same churches will spare no effort to demonize those who expose them, sue them, and hold them accountable. This is some evil shit.
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When Christians apply law to victims and grace to perpetrators, victims suffer while perpetrators celebrate.
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There are currently more than 400,000 children in foster care in the United States.
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“One of the greatest ironies of the history of Christianity is that its leaders constantly gave in to the temptation of power even though they continued to speak in the name of Jesus, who did not cling to His divine power but emptied himself and became as we are.” H. Nouwen.
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When a church leader is informed about the reported abuse of a child, meeting with the alleged perpetrator to “discuss it” should never ever happen. What must happen is to ensure that the child is safe and to report the abuse to the authorities.
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When faced with abuse allegations within the church, the leadership must decide early on whether its primary objective is the protection of the church, or the care of victim/s and the search for truth. That critical decision will determine the heart and soul of the church.
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Why is it that abuse survivors and their family members are so often the ones whose lose their church community after disclosing abuse by a church member? The tragic truth is that loss of community is ultimately a punishment to victims for painfully bringing darkness to light.
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@reachjulieroys @PsRobertMorris He conveniently leaves out the fact that one of those "girls" was a minor. a 12-year-old minor. His abuse was intentional and so is this untruthful public narrative. This is frightening stuff, folks.
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“Hitler’s power stemmed not so much from his ability to win people over with clever arguments, but from his articulating the feelings that already lay within them and taking them on an emotional journey from feeling humiliated to humiliating others.” @peterpomeranzev.
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My brother’s take on it all. 😏.
I’ll never forget that day in 2016 when my grandfather, @billygraham, shrugged off the symptoms of Parkinson’s and hydrocephalus, got up out of bed for the first time in a year, drove down to the polling station, and cast his vote. What a glorious memory!.
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After listening to his statement to the congregation, my educated guess is that there is much more to this story. not in a good way. Time has a way of bringing forth the whole truth. 1/2
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Hillsong’s Brian Houston told a court that his father was a serial child molester but that he didn’t see the need to tell anyone because though he was in good health, his father was 78 and his memory was failing. Thus, he didn’t feel like he was a risk. This is gibberish.
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When professing Christians apply law to victims and grace to perpetrators, victims suffer while perpetrators celebrate.
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“If the church is to be an ambassador of the good news and an agent of healing in the world, the church is going to have to become serious about being something other than the high priest of religious nationalism.” @BrianZahnd.
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Don't buy the political lie being sold by some politicians. Holding individuals accountable for violent acts perpetrated against our government officials & employees is not creating division, it's pursuing truth & justice, which must precede genuine reconciliation & restoration.
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When churches apply law to victims and grace to perpetrators, victims suffer while perpetrators celebrate. This is not love.
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For 12 years, I worked alongside some amazing faculty who are the backbone of Liberty U and for the most part, don't make much money. What is being communicated to this "backbone" when the school hands over 10 million dollars to Jerry Falwell, Jr? Once again, the powerful win.
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It's no longer protesting. It's an attempted revolution that was birthed by idolizing and enabling a sociopathic narcissistic autocrat wannabe. Truly tragic.
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Why is it that abuse survivors and their family members are so often the ones whose lose their church community after disclosing abuse by a church member? The tragic truth is that loss of community is ultimately a punishment to victims for painfully bringing darkness to light.
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Though I'm encouraged by much of what I am hearing tonight from @RZIMhq, I have yet to hear a commitment to investigating who within the organization had knowledge of Ravi's abuse and when did they first learn of it. It's highly doubtful he abused without the help of others.
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Just started reading this book. Never thought this would ever become a concern in my lifetime but…
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A message for Protestants: “If the Catholic Church is a safer place than it was twenty-five years ago, it is not because the Church finally got religion, but because it got sued, over and over again, by thousands of courageous men and women 1/2.
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When you spend 50 years closing your eyes to the widespread sexual abuse of children in your denomination, you forfeit the right to attack another group for their “sexual morality.” .
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A distorted theology of forgiveness can be one of the most damaging spiritual wounds inflicted upon abuse survivors, and is a tactic often used by offenders and church leaders to promote false “reconciliation” and “resolution”.
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I'm still waiting for professing Christian conservative leaders to speak publicly about Ravi/RZIM & all those they have wounded. The leaders who have lots of things to say about lots of people. except for those who are their echo chamber-mates. I think Jesus would have words. .
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When a pastor is removed as a result of a sexual abuse complaint, it’s never a good practice to keep the congregation in the dark about why the offending pastor was removed. Being transparent is the right thing to do and may actually empower other victims to step forward.
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Adult clergy abuse is when a ministry leader uses his position to identify, groom, and engage in “consensual” sexual contact with someone in his congregation or under his influence. There are no exceptions to this kind of dehumanizing objectification, exploitation and betrayal.
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The theater of accusing political opponents as being “pro-pedophile” exploits the real horrors children suffer for a cheap attempt at political gain. Such irresponsible comments diminish the value of children as well as the gravity of child sexual abuse. Please stop.
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In September, 2019 I told a room full of Southern Baptists,. “It is not the abused and wounded within our churches who are in the most need .of healing…it is the Church…including this denomination.”. Almost 5 years later, I’m convinced the SBC is not healing, it’s rotting.
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Beware of a church or organization that suggests “Christian mediation” in order to try and resolve a legal claim brought by an abuse victim. Though it may sound like a “Godly approach”, it’s often a recipe for spiritual manipulation, resulting in further trauma to the survivor.
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“With profound love and respect, we ask our brothers and sisters in Christ to consider whether they have given to Caesar what belongs only to God: their unconditional loyalty.”
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The real tragedy is when the secret life of a “beloved” and “Godly” public persona was actually horribly destructive and devoid of what was so publicly beloved. and anything but Godly.
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Informing a reported victim that her abuse disclosures against a church leader won’t be considered unless she directly confronts him before a committee is not only ignorant and asinine, but it’s abusive and wrong.
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Informing a reported victim that his/her abuse disclosures against a church leader won’t be considered unless he/she directly confronts him before a committee is not only ignorant, but it’s abusive and wrong.
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Too many Christians mistake narcissism for humility and godliness in their leaders. Understanding this difference is critical on so many levels.
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Today, I lost my life hero and we all lost the last great lion of the 20th century. He was a beautiful gift to me. and to this world. I love you Daddy Bill.
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This was no coincidental statement. Nope.
"America is for Americans and Americans only.".— Stephen Miller, 2024. "Germany is for Germans and Germans only.".— Adolf Hitler, 1934.
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Why is it that church leaders who perpetrate abuse are often treated as a “victim”, while the real victim is treated as a perpetrator? The distortion of truth never reflects Jesus.
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@daneortlund “It’s your fault not ours.” . Wow…just what hurting folks in churches need to hear. Arrogant and self-serving words from a pastor. Gross. 🤢.
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The notoriety and influence of a Christian leader often means less accountability and a greater likelihood of unconditional support. It also means those wounded by the leader will likely suffer in silence or face being ignored, marginalized, or even vilified. This must change.
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“When people use, “whoever is free of sin cast the first stone” as a reason for not calling out the transgressions of a system, they forget that Jesus was saving a woman who was about to be killed by that system. And that statement saved her life.” @CarlosHappyNPO.
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Headed to Portland with the honor of representing 3 heroes as they seek justice from an international Christian organization that employed a child molester who decimated the lives of missionary boys. Those boys are now adults and they’re ready to demand accountability. Bravo!.
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Instructing clergy abuse victims to focus on their own sins and to let God deal with their abuser is one way church leaders silence and shame victims, while empowering those who hurt them.
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A common tactic of church leaders who have used their power and authority to sexually victimize is to place themselves back into positions of leadership while piously gaslighting and guilting those who object by accusing them of being unforgiving, unmerciful, & un-Christian. 1/2.
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Trauma Informed Care asks, What happened to you?” not “What’s wrong with you?” Understanding the answer to that question is often the key to how we can better serve the wounded.
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In what world are the consequences for covering up a serious crime and punishing the victim of that crime the granting of a “prestigious” title, continued compensation, and a free place to live??.
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@lancejorton Absolutely. I was actually thinking just that when I watched it. Why is he up there announcing it…and intentionally being allowed to put forth his own narrative? I have yet to see a victim allowed to do that in a church.
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Christians. are sexual abuse survivors in our churches more or less likely to disclose their abuse today than two weeks ago before the Kavanaugh hearing? What messages have our words and social media posts communicated to those suffering in silence in our midst?.
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Reported rape victim is interviewed and shamed by male seminary administrators, placed on probation, and instructed not to report the crime to the authorities. And we wonder why so many Christian communities are traumatizing to victims. Beyond horrifying.
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If social injustice perpetrated in the name of religion drove Jesus to turn over tables and take out the whips in the temple, what is His response to the sexual abuse of children perpetrated by church leaders?.
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Trauma Informed Care asks, What happened to you?” not “What’s wrong with you?” Understanding the answer to that question is often the key to how we can better serve the wounded.
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“There have been many sexual transgressions at Hillsong NYC. We tried to address them in 2017 and we were told that we were spreading gossip.” This is a common & effective method leaders use to shame victims into silence in order to protect offenders & institutional reputations.
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Encouring news today out of @LibertyU. I hope the leadership will seriously consider engaging an independent third-party inquiry of all matters that have surfaced in recent years prior to making any decisions with regard to whether or not Jerry Falwell returns. Time will tell.
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Hopeful and determined that 2020 will be a year that fewer children and adults are abused, more survivors are believed and loved, more perpetrators are caught and brought to justice, and the institutions who enable and protect those perpetrators are exposed and held accountable.
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“Whenever the Christian community gains worldly power, it nearly always loses its capacity to be the critic of the power and influence it so readily brokers.”.
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Jesus said “Take of my sheep”. He didn’t say, “Wound my sheep.” He didn’t say, “Turn the other way when those in power abuse my sheep.” He didn’t say, “Marginalize the vulnerable sheep.” And he certainly didn’t say, “My sheep are there for you to exploit for your own interests.”.
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@bobsmietana This comment by my uncle is ludicrous and is likely intended to stoke a fictional narrative in order to excuse his sociopathic autocrat wannabe hero. So irresponsible and beyond tragic.
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Hopeful and determined that 2021 will be a year that fewer children and adults are abused, more survivors are believed and loved, more perpetrators are caught and brought to justice, and the institutions who enable and protect those perpetrators are exposed and held accountable.
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Informing your congregation about past sexual abuse by a church leader is not the time for standing ovations for the abuser or patronizing statements about the abused.
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When the ugly reality doesn’t fit the narrative, they will often choose to believe the narrative. at the expense of the vulnerable and wounded. This is the culture that is permeating within too many churches, denominations, and Christian organizations.
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Jesus walked the dark road of abandonment, isolation, and suffering. He understands. He grieves. He cares.
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In my experience prosecuting and supervising thousands of sexual crimes, I never encountered a victim who misidentified a perpetrator she knew. The misidentification argument is a red herring attempt to discredit Ms. Ford.
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Too many Christians mistake narcissism for humility in their “godly” leaders. We must learn to understand the difference.
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Teared up tonight after hearing yet another account of a woman who finally felt cared for by a pastor - a predator who exploited her vulnerability & trust for sexual gratification. He is forgiven and she is forgotten. These wretched stories just keep coming…and I keep grieving.
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Another pastor exploiting his position and power to perpetrate sexual misconduct and when caught claims that he’s the real victim due to “depression, anxiety, and pastoral burnout”. Most troubling is that many will embrace this ridiculous false narrative.
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As I represent survivors across the country I’ve noticed a sad dynamic…church leaders are often quick to listen to attorneys at the risk of upsetting survivors and slow to listen to survivors at the risk of upsetting their attorneys. I hope for the day it’s the other way around?.
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Why is it that survivors and their family members are so often the ones whose lose their church community after reporting abuse by a church staff and/or member? Tragically, the loss of such “family” community is the punishment imposed upon victims for bringing darkness to light.
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“Victims are not against forgiveness. Victims are against forgiveness being the solution to the problem.” D. Couts #courageconference2018.
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It’s my hope and prayer that the Christian community will spend less time celebrating the fact that Rachael mentioned “Jesus” in her statement and more time sobered and grieved by the failure of the Church to be her biggest advocate before the courtrooms and news cameras.
Rachael's attorney John Manly has been involved in some of the highest profile church sex abuse cases. Why is an evangelical church responding like the RC church 40 yrs ago? @BozT has been saying for years that this isn't just a Catholic Church problem. Evangelicals, take note.
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A misinformed community of Christians can be teachable and become informed, knowledgeable. and safe. A misinformed arrogant community of Christians cannot be teachable and will remain misinformed, arrogant…and unsafe. Grateful for the Christians who are listening and learning.
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A moral duty to the wounded is more important than an alleged fiduciary duty to those in power.
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Abusive leaders caught in the spotlight will often claim that the public exposure of their behavior "hurts the name of Jesus". Do you see the deception and danger of this tactic? Those who are bringing truth to the light are the ones accused of somehow hurting Jesus.
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Beware of those who tell you that God requires you to "reconcile" with your abuser. You're probably being manipulated and shamed.
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A summit that promises to challenge the Church to address sexual violence and end abuse should begin by pointing a giant spotlight on the systemic and life destroying abuses perpetrated by church leaders that are usually denied, excused, or simply ignored by others in the Church.
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Baptist leader instructs woman with abusive husband to stay with him, submit to him, and pray for him. And we wonder why so many abuse victims are suffering in silence inside our churches. Please listen to the audio of this interview. God have mercy.
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What does it say about the condition of the Church when a senior pastor deliberately chooses not to participate in a mediation involving the sexual abuse of a child at a church event by a church employee? Even more tragic. what does that decision say to the child??.
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