Marriage in your 20s is a startup marriage. You're both young, broke, and malleable enough to grow together.
Marriage in your 30s is a merger marriage. You're both fully formed human beings conjoining your own assets & identity. I can't recommend enough getting a prenup.
My dad sent me this view from my childhood room in Portland. It hit me that we have been wasting our collective intelligence in tech optimizing for profits and ad clicks.
My parent were tasked with the job of survival and I with self-actualization. The immigrant generational gap is real. What a luxury it is to search for purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.
1/ My favorite story about my dad is he got into Peking University (the Harvard of China) but a corrupt communist official swapped his admission ticket w/ his daughter's admission ticket.
The beauty of BLACKPINK is their diversity of backgrounds: culture, language, personality. Their music, style, vibe is so uniquely eclectic bc they all are so different. Makes me wonder what a BLACKPINK startup would look like.
This book is for anyone who thought something was wrong with them for being many things, a deep generalist, a multipotentialite, a person who defied specialization. It puzzled me for so long why people couldn’t put me in boxes and questioned my non-linear liberal arts path.
My parents did not immigrate half across the world for me to be a broke ass bitch. I'm sorry...I have to be a capitalist. 🤑 My mom and dad sacrificed too much for me to not generate outsized ROI.
Prenups get a bad rep but they are the best way to futureproof your marriage together. It forces you to talk about your relationship to money, psychology of money, and childhood traumas. America does nothing to prepare you for the most important singular decision in your life.
1/ In light of the current events this week, I'm breaking my silence about offer negotiations was a WOC in tech. My DMs are open to all POCs and black operators who would like advice on offer negotiations b/c this is an area we are woefully disadvantaged in.
8/ My dad taught me that the world is not fair. You can either let injustices define you or choose to move on and find a way to become a more resilient person. The human spirit can do amazing things in the face of adversity.
In Silicon Valley I use to think being too "human" was a weakness. Too empathetic, too emotional, too vulnerable, too feminine. Now I wear "human" was a badge of honor. The future lies in humanists building a human layer on top of technology.
Let's do this! Yang for New York ✊🏽 Can't think of a better candidate who understands the power of disruptive technology, diversity and inclusion, and the future economic forces that will shape our future. Mayor of Gotham City is a tough job but Andrew Yang has what it takes.
I moved to New York City 25 years ago. I came of age, fell in love, and became a father here. Seeing our City in so much pain breaks my heart.
Let’s fight for a future New York City that we can be proud of – together. Join us at
The US getting its shit together about vaccines is like the guy who went to class once the entire college semester, crammed overnight for the final, and got the best score in class.
9/ Cheers to all the immigrant dads who came here to this country without a silver spoon or a roadmap. You taught us about grit, tenacity, willpower, and hustle. We owe you everything. It's my time to make you proud and make generational quantum leaps in one lifetime.
The older I get the more I realize life is just a series of good karma points and people vouching for you. Hard skills are important in the beginning of your career, the further along you go, the more subjective opinions and cosigns matter. Meritocracy is a myth.
Thanks to everyone's love for my dad's story! His biggest lesson is to create your own luck in the face of adversity. Luck✨ = preparation 💪🏼+ opportunity 🎲. You can increase your own luck surface area through hard work and preparation.
Biggest career epiphany I had recently: picking the right people, team, and culture outweighs the sexiness of a role. Your day to day happiness matters so much more than the optics of power, status, and money. Wish I realized this earlier.
The thing about trauma is when you do heal it makes you 10000Xs stronger and gives you an empathy that connects you to so many people. You see the world differently due to that connective tissue of shared humanity. Our lived experiences, not our pedigree, shapes us to be great.
I will never forget this white male VC saying “you’re so lucky to be a woman and POC right now that’s exactly what these firms are looking for right now.” Reminds me of the
@aliwong
story where a male comedian put his hand on her pregnant belly and said “so this is your schtick.”
Most of my career I’ve been breaking into proprietary knowledge moats. Once you break in you realize the gatekeepers weren’t any smarter or more knowledgeable they were just really good at withholding esoteric knowledge that can be easily understood and simplified.
If you’re a woman of many talents and multitudes it’s hard for people to put you into a box. You defy specialization. Your super power lies in your multipotentialite abilities. For so long I was negged for being too many things and felt insecure about my generalist skill set.
PSA: I'm seeing a lot of young people write small angel checks as a hobby in their 20s. I think people only share the glamourizations of angel investing but not the fact that it's a money-losing asset class. You should be financially secure to invest as an angel (accredited too).
7/ His work has been published in Nature multiple times and he has created a paradigm shift in hearing research. My dad embodies childhood wonder. He spends his weekends tinkering with his laser interferometers and reviewing NIH grants b/c he likes giving back to grad students.
Startups are like airplanes. They need at least two engines to stay aflight ✈️ :
For B2B, it's product and sales
For B2C, it's distribution and product
For DTC, it's product, brand, distribution
h/t
@k3fernan
for the illuminating convo on company engines!
I like to congratulate my women in tech friends who land new jobs w/ the words "they are so lucky to have you!". Why? B/c language matters a lot. Often women, immigrants, and BIPOC folks are told we are so lucky to have something as if it's a surprise for us to win. 1/4
People be like why are you such a good capitalist cog?
Immigrant kids: it’s the crushing burden of my parents’ sacrifices and yearning to provide for them so they can retire and live comfortably in a country where they never got a head start.
Instead of having billionaires can we just give people a trophy that saids “You Won Capitalism” 🏆 when their net worth reaches $999,999,999. After that any surplus goes to govt funded services in education, healthcare, and climate change?
Just had a 1.5 hr convo with my best friend about what a scam it was to indoctrinate millennials into finding meaning and purpose from our jobs while surviving in a capitalist society with two economic recessions.
The time I enjoyed the most in SF was two months of grabbing coffee with people who I admired and wanted to learn from while unemployed. I learned everyone is one DM and tweet away even people who you thought were inaccessible. The world truly opened up to me and I thank Twitter
Congrats to all my friends who are getting rich off the Lyft IPO! MAZEL TOV 🎉🤘🏽Don’t forget to reinvest back to female founders, social good, medical research, SF homelessness etc. Your new wave money 💰 has power so use it wisely.
I spent the last three months grabbing coffee with over 100 really smart and inspiring people. I don’t want to lose touch with them now that I have found my next thing. How do you manage your contacts? I want a personal CRM that reminds me to check in with people.
SF: “I’m working from home on Wed.” *secretly goes to therapy* “I’m fine. I’m really fine.”
NY: “My cal is blocked for therapy on Tuesdays. IM LEAVING FOR THERAPY. ITS SO GREAT.”
This is the coastal cultural difference.
Millennials facing two economic recessions in one lifetime:
2008: “you’re underqualified, we can’t hire you.”
2020: “you’re overqualified, we can’t afford to hire you.”
🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻🤷🏾♂️🤷🏽♀️
I’ve never shared this story but today is a momentous occasion.
@garrytan
is the first mentor and VC partner who ever made me feel like I belonged in shaping this world through economic inclusion and empowerment.
DAOs are an existential threat to venture capital as we know it. VC is going thru a reckoning and will continue to be in the next 5 years. When paradigm shifts happen you want to make sure you’re on the right side of history. Evolve or die. Specialization is for insects.
17/ We must not operate from the scarcity mindset. What we have is precious. We hold so much power that others want to hoard. Your fair market value is what the next highest bidder is willing to pay. Don't be afraid to ask for more!!
1/ It dawned on me that there is no equivalent of a “product guy” for women in tech. Rarely are women described as visionary. She usually the executor or COO. Interesting how “visionary” often applies to men w/ moonshot ideas.
6/ But he never gave up his love for physics combining it in his hearing science research, studying wave theory. He pursued science in addition to practicing medicine, receiving a WHO fellowship to conduct hearing research at the University of Michigan.
Netflix hired
@badassboz
b/c she has a stellar track record and a personal brand/voice. Progressive corporations see that individual voice and brand amplify the corporate brand. The old school way of thinking is the employee needs to subsume their brand with the corporate brand.
After years of being underestimated as "nontechnical" I've developed a super power when someone tries to make me feel dumb, I just ask really good questions. I am a machine gun of questions a la Socratic method. Yes, I have the biggest fucking chip on my shoulder but it works.
52% of the wealth in the world is now managed by women. Let that sink in. And yet it is stigmatized for women to talk about money. All my investing, personal financing, stock speculation chats are with groups of male friends. Let's change that.
I want to teach my kids to ski early b/c I never want them to go to a work ski trip and find out they belong to the bunny hill group. Literally, this happened on a FB RPM ski trip where we divided into two groups: bunny hill children vs prep school/Dartmouth elite skiers.
Today is the first day in four years where I didn’t hold back on hope and optimism. Psychological safety means you can feel emotions fully. We all deserve psychological safety in this country.
For 2020, one of my goals is to form a women’s angel investing group in NYC. If you are a VC or operator in NY who is interested in angel investing as a syndicate DM me! 💌🤑
To all my SF friends who are contemplating moving out to NYC, there are trade offs. Yes, you may make less money. Yes, you will be forced to break outside the SV bubble. Yes, you may have work for a company that is not driven by tech or product 100%. But you will live a 3-D life.
Reading the Away exposé made me proud to have worked in customer experience at a growth stage start up. It’s really one of the hardest and most under appreciated jobs. You’re paid shit and your insights help transform the company’s product and business. Founders, invest in CX!
I'm at the age where friends are moving to Park Slope and buying homes based on school districts. Meanwhile, I just keep investing in more crypto and working on a podcast. I've always been a late bloomer in life 🌷 Do things in your own time and on your own terms.
13/ I told him I signed with Tumblr because they valued me intrinsically and didn't try to neg me into accepting an offer by calling it "egregious" and then demoting me in title. Unfortunately, I know this experience is all too familiar with other WOCs/POC/LGBTQ founders.
Does anyone else keep a "rejection list"? I've been keeping one since 2011 of all the jobs I got turned down, editorial pitches, all the LPs I reached out to etc. For some reason, looking at this list gives me so much fire and motivation way more than looking at "wins list".
The reality is I'm ok with hiring a wife and being an 80% mom so I can have the career of a man: Unpopular opinion but harsh reality to being a career woman in a modern world.
15/ Until we can push for salary transparency and systemic equity for ALL talent let's help each other with negotiations because the difference in negative 20% compounds over time. The difference in one title is what differentiates an middle manager from a VP, a COO from a CEO.
If someone can't understand why your path is non-linear and grill you on all your career shifts then they aren't the right people for you. Women, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ people have a hard time staying in toxic work environments. We pivot and change out of survival.
Normalize talking about prenups and doing pre-marital counseling! Getting married is the single biggest legal and financial decision of your life and society does nothing to prepare you for it. I want to talk to women who have accrued wealth on their own and asked for a prenup.
I am fucking horrified by how many women and BIPOCs DM'd me about eerily similar stories of being stonewalled, told their offer was non-negotiable, bullied to accept subpar offers, and prevented from promotions. Tech is not a meritocracy so let's stop pretending it is.
@moizali
Me and my friends resonate with this so hard. I called it the "silver medalists of tech" mindset where you didn't win out on Fuck You money during a IPO but you've been a steady earner through the years. Definitely a gap in the market for folks like this.
5/ He always dreamed of going to Peking University to study aerospace engineering but his dreams were dashed b/c of the corrupt communist official. Instead he became an ear, neck, nose, and throat doctor.
4/ He arrived to med school almost a semester late and borrowed his roommate's textbooks to study over winter break. When it came in finals he scored in 1st and 2nd across his whole class.
Some notes from Anna Wintour's Masterclass on leadership:
- Stand for things you believe in
- Own your decisions and who you are w/o apology
- Make it fast & direct
- Be driven by your heart, talent, and instinct
- Do not lose clarity of thought by comparing yourself
16/ I want us to create generational wealth and fight for fair compensation because economic inequalities persist beyond just one job. I hope that by sharing my story I can empower others to research and negotiate their offers aggressively. It's ok to walk away from offers too.
2/ My dad was sent to the state medical university instead, cashing his dreams of studying physics at Peking. The corrupt bureaucrat didn't even try to cover up the scandal and sent him to the women's dorm room originally assigned to his daughter.
Something I’ve noticed growing up as the poorest kid in rich schools:
People who come from money hate talking about money. It’s uncouth to even mention it.
People who had no money growing up/ are self made obsess and talk about money.
The former shames the latter.
You’d be surprised how far goodwill can take you in life. Being a good person builds so much karmic legacy. Reputation, integrity, goodwill is everything. You are as good as your name.
Reading WeWork’s S-1 tonight is riveting content. What a time to be alive. If you ever doubt yourself and need a confidence booster in how to fail up...read this.
Competent women who shape the world are usually found annoying early on in their careers and get their heads chopped off easily--metaphorically. If you are a fully competent, fully voiced young woman there is nothing wrong with you.
14/ We're told to be grateful for what we get but then we're offered something less than everyone else so what are we suppose to do in a broken system? My only solution is to anchor high on offers and ask for the title above you b/c you're probably getting less from the get go.
My lifetime goal is to prove out to other women that you can stay nice and still effective + powerful. That keeping the human parts of yourself and showing vulnerability is a personal moat. That when they go low you go high. I want to debunk the myth of the nice girl! 👧🏻💪🏽💕
4/ Our self-collected data from my RPM class showed that all the women PMs and one LatinX PM were paid 20% less collectively in total comp (salary, equity, and signing bonus)! We were all told by our recruiter that our offer was non-negotiatable when we signed.
Big adulting milestone: I've stopped proving myself to people who don't believe in me. The minute I sense skepticism and bias I move on instead of doubling down on proving myself to ppl who don't SEE or value me. Find your true believers b/c they will help you ~thrive~!
7/ We were told to be quiet and told that if we worked hard we could make up for any salary difference in comp through future promotions. We needed to believe in the system. This was when I realized how bullshit tech offers are.
I’ve worked for companies that made people think they had to work every waking hour. When I worked at a fintech startup everyone was online Xmas eve. Was that necessary? No. These toxic work cultures are symptoms of struggling businesses throwing bodies at problems a la Away.
Today I'm reminded by what
@hunterwalk
said "smart people always have options." Good reminder for when you feel stuck, uncertain, or doubting yourself. We are our own harshest critics. Be kind to yourself and don't give other people so much power to determine your fate.
#MyNameIs
Bo. The Chinese character铂 means white gold ✨My dad named me after a semiprecious semiconductor on his circuit board. In Kindergarten I refused to pick an Anglo name after we immigrated to Michigan bc I was proud of my heritage and I loved Bo Jackson.
#BoKnows
8/ To silence us HR called me in for a one time meeting where the HRBR read off a contract saying FB does not admit fault and for me to sign for a one time payment of $20K. The $20K was a cute gesture but what about the compounding deficit of being paid 20% less over a career?
Teach your kids how to socialize an idea, influence people, and speak with authority early. Rhetoric and social EQ are everything. I've been making up for all the years of over-indexing on hard skills. You can't make quantum leaps with just technical skills.