Chris Beaumont
@Belmit
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Forgot to bring extra plutonium and now I'm stuck here. One pellet, one trip...
Winchester, UK
Joined July 2009
Submitting to the 'can be sung to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song' collection. Bagel Power!
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Submitting to the 'can be sung to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song' collection. Bagel Power!
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As we all look back at #LiveAid40, I would like to tell the story of my experience as a 20yo attending the Wembley show on 13 July 1985. These are never-before seen photos, taken on my Canon A1 with a 50mm lens from my position centre front in the crowd 🧵
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"Dad, I'm thirsty" "Go buy a drink from the vending machine in the kitchen" Guess who owns the vending machine Passive income is too easy
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The biggest issue about this heat at night is waking up sweaty. That's what I call her anyway.
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Is there a known glitch in the Channel 4 app where it only plays adverts? Resumed watching something & it started instantly, rewound a few minutes to catch up again & ads kicked in. Finished tea & toast and they were still running. Restarted entire console and it's still just ads
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FYI, if you grab a pot of M&S or Waitrose hummus they still have the plastic lids, and they fit the Tesco and Sainsburys equivalents that now have film instead. Sincerely, a hummus fiend who gets it wherever he can.
Whoever made the executive decision that all coleslaws, dips and the like should no longer have proper lids, only a peel back plastic film, deserves a firm kick in the bollocks.
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I swear after playing computer games on controllers with triggers and shoulder buttons for more than two decades, I could still not hand on heart say which was R1 and which was R2. Nor will I ever learn. Just bumbling through games quickdrawing pistols instead of grabbing ropes.
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Retweet for a chance to win this @hikerdelic
@shedseven collab tee. This t-shirt could be yours. Or maybe you'll end up chasing rainbows. 😄 On pre-sale now at https://t.co/OHrZLHgWtn, but only until Sunday night. We'll choose a winner 48 hours from now.
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Retweet for a chance to win this @hikerdelic @shedseven collaborative jacket. On pre-sale now at https://t.co/OHrZLHgWtn, but only until Sunday night. We'll choose a winner 48 hours from now.
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Pedantic as I am, I was not about to entertain the semantics of the whole bell/clock tower situation to a stranger at night.
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Props to the guy who, at 11pm in Westminster as I was walking past Big Ben, came up to me, pointed, and said 'is that Big Ben?'.
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Partridge on This Time colliding with Father Ted's Golden Cleric acceptance speech.
Jeremy Vine decided to read out some of the comments he gets in response to his cycling videos Unintentionally hilarious 🤣
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This is just a far less enjoyable version of those TikTok videos where friends line up and keep adding water to a container until the surface tension breaks.
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Every single one of these sounds like a short boozy cocktail made with clear liquor and cocktail onions.
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Confident I've already laughed the hardest I'll laugh all year - Mr. Swallow's ouija board calibration on Last One Laughing. Thought of it the day after and laughed again.
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*casually checking the internet from my secret lair 648m below the Pyramids of Giza* Oh NO
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finally completed a very important task i’ve been avoiding for several months. it took 8 minutes and zero effort on my part and i felt immediate and immense relief. i probably won’t learn from this
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