AP•23 🍎
@AprilsPhynest
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🤫 || Engineer ° Brand Manager ° Master Chef || DM for business (guaranteed visibility) || Barça 💙❤️ || Content Creator || Event Planner and Organiser ||
Centre, Cameroon
Joined July 2017
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Pinned Tweet
Wherever in the world you are right now, Cameroon 🇨🇲 needs your voice.
Just drop
#EndAnglophoneCrisis
under this tweet and retweet the tweet till everyone sees our tears😭
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The anus is NOT a sexual organ
I repeat, the anus is NOT a sexual organ
Excrete✅
Fart✅
Sex❌
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Two highly decorated Black American Movies producers and actors.
Who impressed you more
Retweet 🔄 for Denzel Washington
Like❤️ for Samuel L Jackson
🔄 And ❤️ if you like them both.
Drop👇🏾 your favourite movie involving either of them
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It's high time we clear the air on this.
Both world class. Both played for Barcelona. Both have incredible achievements but who was a better striker?
Retweet 🔄 for Suarez
Like❤️ for Samuel Eto'o
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Mom: Your uncles and aunts in the US sent you a gift
Mom: it's a T-shirt
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Are you 13 years old now?
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Who was a better player?
Retweet 🔁 for Samuel Eto'o 🇨🇲
Like❤️ for Didier Drogba 🇨🇮
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How do you want your partner to address you in a relationship?
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Sorry, I missed your call. I was staring at it wondering why you couldn't just text
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Sometimes I say, “bye” just to hear “don't go”. But I receive “Ok, bye”
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Porn stars
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Mathematics is a language not everyone was meant to understand and to speak.
Retweet if you love(d) math🔥 and drop your favourite topic👇🏾
Mine: Trigonometry
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If you love someone, love the person enough to let the person go when it's time
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The shorter the girl, the shorter the relationship but the better the blowjob
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How do you ask a girl for her number without being so direct?
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Guys with big dicks don't think they have to try in bed, while
Guys with small dicks move around saying how sex is about technique and not size
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Date my ex at your own risk. If she comes to me one day asking for sex (for old time sake) I won't say no.
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Getting hurt by someone you explained your pain to, is a different kind of hurt
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Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. Loyalty is a responsibility, not a choice.
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Contribute for a sick church member
Vs
Contribute for the church toilet
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Let's have a Mega wallpaper thread. Drop your favourite wallpaper(s) and let someone rate it on 10.
Let's go. Feel free to rate mine👇🏾
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If I have raw sex with you, you owe me an explanation everytime you visit someone else
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Woman: Heyyyyyy, do you still want to be my boyfriend?
Man: Yes
Woman: My answer is still No
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And karma said, "you will love someone who doesn't love you, for not loving someone who did"
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Deep down our girlfriends want to catch us with another girl but we are serving a living God 😅😂😂🙌🏾🙏🏾
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Not everyone at your work place is your friend.
Do your work
Get paid
Go home
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I never want my kids to mess up and think “Dad's gonna kill me”.
I want their first thought to be “I need to call my dad”
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When Peter Cech saved Gabriel Jesus' shot, then Peter Drury said, "And once again Peter denies Jesus."
😂😂😂😂😂
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Once you give someone a title (in your life: girlfriend, best friend, enemy) you start expecting certain things from the person and when the person doesn't deliver it hurts. Avoid titles and just live your life to the fullest.
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For some reason, single people feel they give the best relationship advice
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Dear ex,
If I could go back to the day that we both met I would stay at home and boil rice one grain at a time.
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Man: would you wear shoes if you didn't have feet?
Woman: of course not
Man: Then why do you wear a bra?
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And karma said, "you will love someone who doesn't love you, for not loving someone who did"
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Don't care who you lose anymore. As long as you don't lose yourself again, you're good.
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Her: Did you pull out?
Him: The only thing I pulled out was the condom
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Dudes can spot a booty from far away but hardly spot their girl unhappy right in front of their face
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Church Scene
1st Pic: During worship
2nd Pic: During deliverance. Everytime the pastor says "there is a man here"
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How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
Mine: 25 years old
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Did you know:
Those born in September are a result of the 1st of January joy, plus cold, and alcohol.
80% of them weren't planned
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People in relationships talk less about Valentines day than single people
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Date a girl who can run with you if you both get attacked. Not those ones who will make you feel guilty when you leave them behind 💀
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How 2019 punched me at the beginning of the year
Vs
How I punched back at 2019 by the end of the year
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I will never ask for nudes.
If my side chicks send it to me, it's cool
But never ever should my main chick send me nudes.
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Dudes can spot a booty from miles away but hardly spot their girl unhappy right in front of their face
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My grandma just died, now I understand this, many people are here right now who weren't there when she was sick.
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This shit hurts😔
And everytime it seems to hurt differently.
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Yesterday was a terrible day😔
First my ex was hit by a bus🥺, then I lost my job as a bus driver 😭
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*Me going to play once I'm back from school*
VS
*Me when I hear "what are you doing here?" (in my parent's voices)*
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When you go to the toilet to excrete but only a fart comes out
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If your crush is under attack in here (on twitter), would you intervene?
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I'd rather adjust to your absence than be frustrated by your presence
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Don't think you're sexy because you have boobs, my dog has 8😌
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Both wore Number "10", both represented arguably footballs best clubs ever.
Who was a better player for you?
Retweet 🔄 for Gaoucho Ronaldinho
Like❤️for Zinedine Zidane
Drop👇🏾 their match you loved the most
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So it turns out the the person who invented the phrase "All men are the same" is a Chinese woman👩 who lost😳 her husband in a crowd😂
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How long have your parents been together?
Mine: 30 years😍
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Can you post your girlfriend's/boyfriend's picture on social media and quote "this is my boy/girlfriend"?
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The purpose of sending a text is to get an answer within minutes, if I wanted to wait I would have sent you a letter through a f*cking pigeon instead
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When she says, "I need a caring boyfriend", what she actually means is, "I need a man who would spend on me"
When a guy doesn't spend they say he is not caring... 🙌🏾🙌🏾
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When something breaks, if the pieces are big enough one can fix it. Unfortunately sometimes, things don't break, they shatter.
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How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
Mine: 25 years old
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Can you introduce the person you're dating now to your parents?
🤔😏
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Stop shaving only when you think you're about having sex
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Employer: "You are eligible for the job..."
Employer:"... But..."
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Moan in bed😇 and give the best head🤩
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Nobody cheats like a guy who always says,
“The problem is that you don't trust me”
🥺😂
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A: When you see her huge ass, pronounced curves; figure 8 and sweet legs
B: When she turns and you see her "relatively unattractive" face
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It doesn't mean we are getting married
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Most people say horrible things about their exes but deep inside they know the truth. Sometimes we were even responsible for the break up but we don't want people knowing so we make up a "My Ex cheated on me" story or something similar.
The fact it didn't work does make them bad
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Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. Loyalty is a responsibility, not a choice.
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It's funny how many "friends" you lose when you stop reaching out to them first
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Don't rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends.
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As it stands the number of guys who want to get married to virgins have dropped considerably
Guys prefer girls with experience in bed and some even like girls who have given birth before at least then they know the girl is able to give birth.
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Me: You are beautiful 😍
Her: I know
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She asked me what's my take on "sex on the first date"
I told her I don't think it is appropriate, she said "well, too bad, next time"
I'm in severe pain 😭😭😭 all I had to say was the truth
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When you invite a girl you met on social media for a date and she doesn't look the same as in picture
Me: (comparing)
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So it turns out the the person who invented the phrase "All men are the same" is a Chinese woman👩 who lost😳 her husband in a crowd😂
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I pray you get in a relationship that will turn out to be a blessing rather than a lesson 🙏🏾
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