Anthony LaFauci
@AnthonyLaFauci
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I'm a writer of absurd monstery comics, a d&d bard on a show called Critically Stupid, a lover of time-travel and horror movies, and a full-time dad
Cape Coral, Florida
Joined July 2009
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It's New Episode Day! This week, we read a hilarious conversation I had with Keanu, share an awkward story from this weekend, and announce our next Kickstarter launch! Watch our show today!
Conversations with Keanu Reeves | Kickstarter Movie Announcement
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It's the 5 year Anniversary of that time I made a chicken costume for a friend and it led to my girlfriend and I breaking up. 5/5 would recommend.
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Someone make a "How It Would Have Ended" series, where creators drink and explain how their canceled series would have ended, and we get to watch actors play out the roles in someone's backyard or whatever
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@LeaveHeardAlone
That's exactly how I felt about it. I sincerely just thought it was this hilariously odd circumstance, and figured she would think it was interesting and funny
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But, I sincerely didn't/don't feel as if I had done anything wrong. I explained the situation to her as it was unfolding for me in real-time, and it was such a fun, whimsical sort of challenge to have thrust upon my night. Her attitude about the entire thing soured me to us 7/
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And, it felt as if she needed more/something from me that I clearly wasn't capable of giving, and we ended up breaking up.
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I apologized and explained that I didn't know that my close friend was going to ask me for some sudden, time-sensitive, chicken-costume-related assistance, and helping felt like the right thing to do. She was not having it and was angry for me the entire next day. 5/
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Context 🧵:
I had been dating someone for about 2 months. She asked me what I was going to do one night, and I told her that I was just going to stay in, work on my comic, and watch a movie. While working on my comic and watching a movie, a close friend sent me an unusual text.1/
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She told me that she was participating in a 24 hour contest, and she was given a prompt and series of instructions to follow. She had an idea of what she needed, but reached out to me because I was the only person she could think of who could pull it off in such short notice. 2/
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I agreed to help her, and set off to the store to grab the feathers and supplies. I texted my girlfriend to explain the hilariously odd predicament I was suddenly in, and she was not amused. She texted something to the effect of "I thought you were staying in tonight?!" 4/
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She needed to put these things together to make some sort of picture. She told me that her idea was to have a child in a chicken costume running around as the parent stared at their phone in the background. Only... She needed the child, parent, and chicken costume... 3/
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I could sense that something was off, but it all felt so awkward and absurd. After we hung out that day, she texted me about how upset she was that I went out to the store and did things for my friend even though I said I was staying in. I tried to placate as much as I could 6/
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If I give my female characters pockets in their pants, is my book considered "fantasy"?
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Vampires spread rumors about being allergic to garlic so humans would season themselves and make their necks more delicious
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I just got out of the shower and saw that my manager texted me to ask if I could come in to work today. What's a polite, socially acceptable way to say that I'd rather eat my own face than work when I expected to have free time?
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Black Mirror should be banned from trending unless there are new episodes out. Stop breaking my heart and break my heart already
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We need a Bob Ross for writers... Just some soft spoken guru, being calm, supportive, and adding happy little Act Threes or whatever
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For the love of god, please just write whatever the hell you want the way you want
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My son said something this morning that I'm still processing.
I was trying to get him out of bed and into the living room for breakfast. He said, "You know how some cake is hard to frost? I'm that unfrosted cake. I'm not leaving this bed. I'm cake metaphor boy." Friggin WHAT
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You're only a writer if you come from the outline region of France, otherwise, you're just sparkling storytellers
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I'm so sick of people not knowing there grammar. Like your an idiot and its embarrassing
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If you wake up with this energy, you should go back to bed.
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What is the most rewatchable tv series of all time?
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@benarchibald
That is such a fantastic interaction haha Hopefully it was mostly celebration.
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I just realized that I've made more from selling books this year than I have at my retail job.
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I gave some crows a couple of peanuts on my way into work and now there's a whole murder flocking around my car waiting to jump me or make me their new king. Maybe both? I'm going to keep feeding them and make them my familiars
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If someone asks you to leave them alone, do it. Seriously. It's so simple. Boundaries are important, and some people will do anything to Kool-aid Man kick through them while presenting themselves as good people. I'm being legitimately stalked at this point. She's reading this.
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Guess what's being projected at this amazing arcade
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Being invited to a 20 year High School Reunion feels like being invited to unearth a time-capsule that's filled with cursed mummies, that cube from Hellraiser, and a list of other people's opinions. Hard no.
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It's so sad that they stopped making Jaws sequels. We should have had Jaws in the Hood and Jaws in Space by now
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I was dragged to one of those restaurants where the main selling point is that all of the servers are cleavagey women. Why isn't there a dude-driven bakery named "Buns", where the guys wear tiny shorts and serve delicious breads?
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What's a line from a movie that's made its way into your regular vocabulary?
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My son just asked me if Captain Hook used to be called Captain Hand.
No paternity test needed.
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What's a weird little movie that you've seen/enjoyed but have never heard anyone talk about?
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My girlfriend and I broke up, which means I'm about to throw myself into my projects and I'm going to be single until I meet someone cute at the Oscars or whatever
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Does Medusa have to feed her hair though? Does it shed? Does she have snake skin dandruff?
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If your book sounds interesting, I'll buy it. I might take a while to read it because I'm a single dad who has to edit a podcast, color a comic book, write a novel, work ridiculous hours, and live for a living, but I will buy your dang book.
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@FuukTwitar
It was such a bizarre circumstance and led to the weirdest argument I've ever had
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In order for a book to be considered Fantasy, does it need to have magic and elves, or is it enough if a character is paid a livable wage and has some free time where they aren't spiraling endlessly into a deeper and deeper depression?
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Holy crap, people actually read this. If you want more ridiculous relationship stories, check out my show at
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I need a roomba that brings me coffee in the morning. A roombarista, please and thank you
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If we can make "supposably" and "irregardless" words, can we also just combine "effect" and "affect" and get it over with?
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I want a Gremlins shirt that only has Gizmo, but the rest of the gremlins are there in water-activated ink, so you only see them when it rains or I'm sweaty
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A game where you play as a cat and have to try to kill a vampire by running through the curtains to reveal sunlight and knocking over glasses of holy water, etc. Coming This Fall: Catsylvania
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I just watched someone drive onto a curb and hit a bush in an otherwise empty parking lot. I assume the bush had it coming because there is no other excuse for what I just witnessed.
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A customer was BIG MAD that I told her the only way to recover her password was to press "forgot password" and follow the instructions. She said she would never shop here again because I, a person who is not her, also didn't know her password.
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I asked my son to get all of the plushies off of his floor and this is what that looks like.
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A man just questioned why I, a man, am cashiering while women are working to stock the floor. Send me birthday money so I can never talk to strangers in public again.
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@weverlish
Exactly! This is a sincere point that seems to have been missed by a handful of controlling people commenting.
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My dumbest peeve is monks. Peaceful enlightenment is easy on a mountain. Get down here and try to talk a Karen through the new coupon policy, you coward.
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My son is playing a game where Jesus is a character and owns a furniture shop. This is so wrong, yet so hilarious.
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I want to make a movie about a dominatrix who accidentally kills her client but the zombie apocalypse starts so he comes back to life to serve her and they fall in love. It'll be the best domzomromcom of 2024
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We get knocked down but we get up again. You are never gonna keep us down.
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Does it bother you when writers tweet about things aside from writing? I tend to use this to connect, find perspective, or make moderately silly jokes. Occasionally, I mention what I'm working on, but I worry that I'm just going to be muted if I don't mention Nano or coffee
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Watch whatever you enjoy watching. Read whatever you enjoy reading. Write whatever the eff you want. Block anyone who says otherwise.
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I'm going to exercise and I need you all to clap for me.
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A customer was so aggressively rude and entitled that I started to laugh at her. She didn't love that
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They should never remake The Princess Bride under any circumstances, but I do think it would be fun to see an anthology about the various versions of the Dread Pirate Roberts
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I asked my son what he wanted to do on his final day as a 7 year old. He said, "Hang out with you, beat a videogame together, and drink cream soda". So, that's what I have to look forward to after work.
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If a mermaid is bitten by a werewolf, does it become a dogfish or a furmaid? A weremaid? Merwolf?
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What's your "I've written it a million times but still can't spell it" word?
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Vampires are terrible in therapy because of the lack of self-reflection
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What male animated character did you have a crush on as a kid?
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Do werewolves ever motivate other werewolves by saying, "Are you a LyCANTThrope or a LyCANthrope"?
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It's so crazy that someone can be alive before you play dnd and then you check Facebook after and they're suddenly gone. Tell your friends that you love them. Holy shit.
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I'm a single dad with full custody of a 6 year old. I write books, produce podcasts, host movie nights, make videos... I'm trying my best. I'm sorry that I'm not always engaging or entertaining or present. I am trying.
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So, not to brag but I've been saved by the One. THE Keanu Reeves is my best friend.
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The earth has crust, so it's technically a sandwich.
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My son woke me up at 7am on my birthday to wish me Happy Birthday and ask me to cut out "secret coupons" for him to fill out for me. Starting Level 37 off with a smile
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Why is it so hard to get 10k followers? I AM DELIGHTFUL
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I just saw an elderly man in a ditch on the way home from getting my son. I stopped to help him and a nice woman also stopped to help me help him. I'm not sure I could have done that alone, so I'm thankful that she showed up too. People can be pretty great sometimes
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"I was born in the late 1900s" makes me feel like a vampire though
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I got my son the Treehouse of Horror Omnibus for Christmas. We we were flipping through it and happened to land on a brilliant They Live parody written by friggin
@pattonoswalt
! My son and I were cracking up and I got to share the incredible 6 minute fight scene with him.
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Today, the sun rises and my body transforms into a 36 year old.
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I didn't expect to be crying while sipping my coffee, but social media likes to remind us of our friend's Birthdays after they have passed away, and I was not prepared for that this morning.
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What movie makes you cry every time? Happy or sad tears allowed
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When you remove the drummer's drum and find out...
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When I die, I want the dumb little card at my funeral to be a trading card with character stats on the back, and I want it to come in a pack with a piece of rock hard bubble gum.
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The Wizard of Oz is the most bullshit man nonsense in the world. There were women with actual magical powers, but some old white dude who loved to lie was in charge of everything
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I pretended to sleep when my son came into my room. He aggressively bellyflopped onto me and shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", then whispered sweetly, "I let you sleep in. Because it's your Birthday." It was 8am. Best Birthday ever
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I just ordered a $10 smoothie. That's a smoothie. That's milk and fruit. That's $10. They don't put bourbon in it or nothin
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I said, "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time and she's still my girlfriend! Huzzah!
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Our first convention! We've made friends, sold books, launched a kickstarter, and got fully funded for our next book. This is a good day
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One of my old twitter friends made a post to call me a fake person and a narcissist. It's a weird, depressing shame, but I don't really know what there is to do in a situation like this. I'm just here, doing my best and trying to live a life.
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Why wasn't the Love Boat called the Relation Ship?
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Me: I need to figure out how-
Brain: If OnlyFans existed in ancient Greece--
Me: Don't.
Brain: Would his profile be Socratease?
Me: Please.
Brain: Platoes?
Me: So, no writing today?
Brain: ArisTHOTle?
Me: Noted.
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I kind of want to make a short that's just a werewolf's walk of shame the morning after the full moon.
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I know it sounds stupid, but changing from "I don't care about" to "I'm not concerned about" when talking to my son makes a huge difference.
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I received an email from my son's school about a school shooting threat circulating on social media. They assured us it originated outside of our area, and has been labeled a "non-credible threat". But now, I'm at work, worried, and hating the state of the world.
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I've gotten a bunch of new followers but only a few mention writing or horror stuff in their bio. I need more writing and horror friends, dang it
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What would you buy if every one of your followers gave you $1?
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I'm making a list of friends so I don't have to rely on the timeline. If you can see this and we interact, let me know so I can add you!
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Instead of sending candy and flowers to someone I love, I'm going to send sinister shade to someone I hate. I'm celebrating Villaintine's Day this year.
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