“Amy you might think you’re not embarrassing yourself, but you are.” -Dylan

After a year and half I finally start a PTA job on Monday and my dream job just posted an opening today 😅

To all those who want to be mommas but aren’t, for whatever reason, I see you

Why does my mother never text me back when I actually need her?

I work two jobs but with an extra $1400 I could finally get LASIK and that would definitely change my life.

Can’t believe there’s really restaurants out there selling big bowls of soup and small bowls of soup. They should all be big bowls of soup. Nobody in the history of mankind has ever been like “damn I wish I had less soup”

“I’m an adult” I say as I take my Disney Princess gummy vitamins

Looking forward, being a mother has always been that “I made it” goal for me. But I’m a lot less excited to do it in the world we live in....

Naming a dog is so freaking hard. How am I ever supposed to name a kid?

Andy just went to the gas station to buy me m&ms to put in my popcorn buy while he was gone I ate all the popcorn. Oops.

I always heard people say they didn’t like the color yellow which is exactly why it is my favorite. And also it’s pretty 💛

A year ago me was closing down the bar, today me will be in bed by 10 pm. We are not the same.

I used to be pro-life all the way until the day I died, but then I learned what that meant.

And then there’s me who won’t even move out of the school district 😅

Unpopular opinion: Halloween edition. Yellow starbursts are the best starbursts.

And this is why I cannot do a road race 😭

CARSEAT SAFETY IS NOT AN OPTION PEOPLE. WHAT IS SO DAMN HARD ABOUT GETTING THAT??

This has got to stop

Me: “I don’t know why I didn’t go into something ag related” Andy: “Yeah that’s really weird” Me: “Maybe I’ll go back to school” Andy: *looks scared*

why are people so weird about umbrellas man like it’s raining and I feel silly for using one even though the One occasion for which you use an umbrella is when it rains

I’d rather work with cows and get covered in cow poop, than touch the food bits in the bottom of the sink.