I don’t hate unicorns. I’m not angry at Sasquatch. I don’t reject mermaids because I don’t want to live by Poseidon’s rules. I’m not skeptical about fairies because I had a bad experience with members of a frollick. I simply don’t see evidence for any of their existence.

92%* of the time, if someone prefaces a statement with, “I hate to tell you this,” they’re actually really fucking eager to tell you the next thing they’re about to say. (*citation source pending.).

Optimism is buying white bedding, when you have a black cat.

Participating in the Terry Fox Run is among my boys’ most anticipated events each year. Don’t underestimate the little ones’ desire for positive impact.

Left at sunrise, back at sunset. Used up all the daylight today, snowboarding.

Me: Finally sitting down to relax after all the holiday shenanigans. Valentine’s Day ads:

RT @HenpeckedHal: My 5 year old just referred to the drink menu as a "beer magazine" and that's what I'm calling it from now on.

Does anyone know Klingon for “Your germs have escaped”? I’m looking for a non-religious response to those who sneeze.

Update…. Husband, 5 mins before I drop the meat into a pan: “I stopped at the pizza place.”. Tune in tomorrow for the encore performance.

Xmas movies are basically heart-moving renditions of what atheists have been trying to tell you. If a fantastical being, who’s fabled magical powers rely on people believing in him/her, will show up for doubters in physical, verifiable ways, lost belief can be restored. 🤶.

Me, pulling ground beef out of the freezer: I’m going to make a wonderful, hearty chili, with rice and homemade biscuits. Me, an hour before dinner: Okay, maybe burgers, after I’ve emptied the dishwasher. Me, 15 mins before dinner: Taco beef quesadillas anyone?.

7yo: T is the most common letter for names. Me: Oh really? Where did you learn that?. 7yo: Well you see a LOT of people with T necklaces, but not many other letters.

RT @IFLScience: You've heard of elf on a shelf, now get ready for.

RT @lanzifer:

👑.

Mbappé.

I have become “my kid teaches me how to use my phone” years old. I honestly didn’t see this one coming.

I’m already in winter break mode… two more school lunches to go!.

There are so many foods I thought I didn’t like (thanks to Tupperware deceiving everyone in the 80s and 90s into thinking all food could be microwaved) that I am discovering are delicious. - Apple Crisp.- Scalloped Potatoes.- Tater Tots.- Alfredo. There are probably more….

RT @Drstevenhobbs: