Al Smizzle
@AlZeidenfeld
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
117,221
ESPN Fantasy Football contributor & podcaster, Twitch Partner. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined May 2009
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MY FAMILY
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水分補給
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日テレとフジ
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ヒップホップ禁止令
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ジャンポケ
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KitaKOMPAK KitaMENANG
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ナムさん
• 12273 Tweets
Jake Brownings girlfriend knew what she was doing when she left the house this morning.
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NFL cornerbacks on on Odell Beckham’s side kind of goes against all the Twitter fingers claiming he’s washed.
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Jonathan Taylor had 95 yards on 12 carries with time left on the clock in the first half of the Colts game.
He finished the game with 12 carries for 95 yards.
I can’t…
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When you’ve lost the locker room to the point that the kicker is trash talking you from 5 feet away after a win WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST it’s a wrap.
Matt Canada had to go.
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I’ll tell you this much, if it was you or me and not Shannon Sharpe picking a fight with an entire team we’d be banned from ever attending an NBA game ever again before the video hit twitter.
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How can CJ Stroud, a man who throws a ballfor a living AND is amazing at it, look like a 10th round pick in a 11u park league when throwing a baseball?
This is really bothering me.
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Next time Michael Thomas punches someone in practice, you suspend whoever he punched.
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@jemelehill
Her: “I’d like to pay you $50 to wreck this perfectly good relationship I’m in”
Also her: “I can’t believe she tried to wreck our relationship”
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Tyler Allgeier has 23 "Short yardage" opportunities in 2023, Bijan Robinson has 17. Short Yardage opps defined by 3 or fewer yard to gain for a 1st down.
- Allgeier has a 57% success rate and averages 2.3 yards per attempt.
- Bijan has a 65% success rate and averages 5.7 yards…
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@netw3rk
I never understood how people can suspend their disbelief for EVERYTHING that exists in a particular story's mythology...all powerful rings, dragons, time travel, resurrection, giants, ogres, goblins...but can't buy that there would ever be anyone other than white people.
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So you’re telling me that Jason Whitlock commits a massive self own on the same day that Aubrey Huff gets ethered and deletes his account?
Ok, 2024. You had my curiosity, but now you’ve got my attention!
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The Steelers front office moments after seeing the Schefter tweet about Antonio Brown...
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This kid (Chet Holmgren) is a seven footer, in 11th grade, and has the handle, agility and court sense to pull this off against an NBA player?
Good lord.
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Jay Cutler worked hard enough to become one of the top 30 humans on the planet at his craft by his early 20’s. Earned $112,000,000 before he retired in his mid 30’s. He is 37 years old.
At some point it’s ok to say, “you know what? I’m gonna take a break for a couple years.”
Kristin Cavallari divorcing ‘lazy’ Jay Cutler because he was ‘unmotivated’
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Dear
@DraftKings
,
The Payout structure for the Slant is absolutely PERFECT. Please make it the default payout structure for all tournaments not named "Milly Maker".
Thank you.
Signed,
Everyone who Fav's, replies or RT's this.
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DeAndre Hopkins is wearing a Jaguar silk top, a skirt and some red sandals with socks. Adjust your fantasy rankings accordingly
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The preview for the live action Ratatouille movie is 🔥🔥🔥
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I don’t know what happened but it’s suddenly gotten very dusty in here.
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How much better would this Lions team be with JSN, Addison, Christian Gonzalez at 12?
What a waste of draft capital.
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DAMMIT TWITTER, JUST GIVE US THE OPTION TO SEE TWEETS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER INSTEAD OF SLAPPING THEM ONTO MY TIMELINE IN WHATEVER HAPHAZARD MANNER IN WHICH YOUR ALGORITHM DECIDES.
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NFL trade deadline deals I think would be cool.
Allen Robinson ➡️ Chiefs
Brandin Cooks ➡️ Chiefs
Jamison Crowder ➡️ Chiefs
Any available WR ➡️ Chiefs
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I’m probably on an island here but I think these Bears throwbacks look awesome.
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Trubisky looks down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
The clocks run out, times up, over, BLOUGH!
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The greatest trick that owners of professional sports teams ever pulled is convincing the fans that the players are the greedy ones.
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Flight attendant: Is anyone here a doctor?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now
Dad: Not asking for a podcaster or YouTuber to help, are they?
Me: Dad, it's an emergency
Dad: Go remind them to smash that subscribe button, see if that helps
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A Turnover on downs should count as a turnover in fantasy for DST.
I'll forever be willing to die on this hill.
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@KellyScaletta
@AlexYoung
@danpfeiffer
@crampell
1. When he thought he was gonna get away with it
2. When she knew she had him
3. When she had just about enough
4. When he knew it was all over
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The respect for this cat. You can't discount the degree of difficulty involved here, he's working on linoleum.
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Every Single Senator that was in that briefing on Jan 24th, sold MASSIVE amounts of stock in preparation for what was coming while also not informing us OR preparing our country for what they KNEW was coming needs to resign, immediately regardless of party affiliation.
Get out.
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Bottom line, Tyrod Taylor should have played better defense the past few weeks if he wanted to keep his job.
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Trying to be healthier.
-Cutting out processed sugar
-Eating less carbs
-Zero soda (only water/milk/juice)
-Working out or hiking every weekday morning
Just tired of feeling tired all the time.
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The fact that Roomba didn't sponsor the stadium in Las Vegas is CRIMINAL!
This is Roomba Stadium.
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How many videos do we need to see this week of police in just about every city brutalizing people for literally no reason before someone with the power to do so does something...ANYTHING to stop it?
...AND THIS IS WHEN THEY KNOW THEY'RE BEING FILMED AND IT WILL 100% GO VIRAL.
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Julio Jones just had one of the best Conference Championship game performances ever.
Chris Hogan: "Hold my beer, watch this"
#Patriots
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I don't post screenshots too often, but this is a special occasion.
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I've been removing 5-10 followers a day for a while now.
@SheaSerrano
has it 100% right. I don't want them reading my articles, watching my videos or showing up to my live steams. If it means I work for a smaller audience, so be it.
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The only person in the NFL that can keep Todd Gurley under 20 fantasy points a game is Jeff Fisher.
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Instead of paying my taxes this year, I'll be sending thoughts and prayers to the IRS
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Like this tweet if the first half of games today is stupid as hell.
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Daenerys: “Sam Tarley? You’re Randyll Tarley’s son?”
Sam: “Yeah, you know him?!”
Daenerys:
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The Bengals project to have roughly $66,000,000 in cap space this off-season.
Spend all of it on the OL.
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Alternate headline: Not shocking video of a shark being a shark.
Shocking video shows a shark biting the finger of a woman that attempted to feed it in Western Australia, dragging her into the water. She escaped with a fracture and a torn ligament.
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I hate everything. If you hate everything too, use this tweet as a like button.
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Nope! Y'all can have it. I'm gonna be right here on the ground and let all you clinically insane people get on that thing.
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Video games exist all over the world and are played just as much as they are in the USA. If they were to blame other countries would have the same issue with mass shootings that we do. They don't.
Stop deflecting to avoid the uncomfortable conversation that needs to be had.
Kevin McCarthy, the GOP House minority leader, also tells Fox News that video games are the problem following the mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton.
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I can't fathom there are people who have watched LeBron James play basketball for all these years and still say, "I don't enjoy watching this."
Boggles the mind.
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I was raised Jewish as that was my father’s religion. My mother’s side (my great grandmother) were slaves. My wife is Mexican.
I don’t care what your politics are, to me and my family hearing the POTUS telling white supremacists to, “stand back & stand by,” is chilling AF.
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So happy for Big Ben that he got the lead role in the new Jumanji remake!!!
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Average US household income by year:
1980: $44k
1990: $47k
2000: $52k
2010: $54k
2016: $59k
Average US home price by year:
1980: $73.60k
1990: $149.50k
2000: $202.90k
2010: $275.30k
2016: $357.00k
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Oh. My. GOD!!!!!!!! My 5 year old called it and opened the pack.
“Daddy, you know who’s good? Christianity Ronaldo!!!” Then, BOOM!
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Do you wear seatbelts when you’re in a car? How about texting while driving?
Do you go into a restaurant without shoes or a shirt?
If you’re a smoker, do you light up on an airplane?
There’s plenty things the gvmt has “mandated” that’s what being a part of a society dictates.
@AlZeidenfeld
I have no issue with this. The sign is spot on. However, my problem is with our government MANDATING we wear 1. I actually wore 1 today by choice. I’ve also not given my business to certain stores because they mandate 1. Free choice for all. I refuse to let a politician FORCE me!
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RIP Mojito. Sixteen of the best years that a pet could give a family. Rest easy Big Cat.
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Julio Jones Support Group will be meeting in the great hall. Punch and Pie will be served, as always, but we expect a LARGE crowd, so please help out and bring what you can. Together we heal.
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Feel bad for LeBron. An all time great performance, on the road, in the
#NBAFinals
, against maybe the best team of all time, and it all goes up in flames because of a George Hill missed FT and a JR Smith brain fart. Man...
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I refuse to watch any segment with Levurr Bell on TV. I also refuse to spell his name right to avoid this being a part of keeping his name trending on twitter. I refuse to click on or engage with content or video involving him.
If you want to stop seeing him, stop engaging.
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The 15 worst starting quarterbacks in the NFL
15. There
14. Is
13. No
12. Way
11. To
10. Determine
9. Who
8. Is
7. The
6. Worst
5. They're
4. All
3. Great
2. Athletes.
1. Joe Flacco
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As much as I don't want to see Lavar Ball before, during or after games, his love & support for and of his boys is admirable.
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Defender beat him to the spot. Feet were planted. We’re going the other way.
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Move every future Super Bowl to Saturday or move some already existing holiday to the Monday after it.
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“cHrIstIaN MCCaFfREy iS ToO sMaLL tO Be aN nfL rUnNiNG bAcK”
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A vegan, crossfitter, and a Bitcoin investor walked into a bar...
...and we know because they told us within 5 seconds of walking in.
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Interesting quote from
@mcuban
. Very true about the loudest members of
#StickToSports
twitter.
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Whoever the person, or group of people, at the NFL offices that gave the order to restart the game in five minutes needs to clean out their desks and polish up their resumes.
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“Marquise Brown is out”
OMG…RASHOD BATEMAN 🚀🚀🚀
“Lamar Jackson is sick and may not play either.”
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Ronald Jones getting benched by the team that benched him REPEATEDLY in 2020 was probably the single most predictable fantasy football thing in 2021. 😂
Ronald Jones getting benched for a fumble and putting up -0.6 points in fantasy football should be a reminder about how fluky and unpredictable this game is.
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Random thought: Anyone in public office who can't take a brand new, out the box computer and successfully log into wi-fi and access their email without assistance should be removed from office.
If you can't keep up with the times, you're unable to make laws to suit them.
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"When Andy Dalton is healthy he's our starter. Justin Fields is our
#2
." -Matt Nagy
Just fire this man already.
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@RickSantorum
It's truly inspiring that you've accomplished so much being downright stupid.
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When you’re $100 in salary away from the lineup you REALLY want.
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BREAKING: Rudolph, Prancer, Donner & Blitzen have been placed in Covid protocols and are questionable for tonight.
Vixen, Comet and Cupid were close contacts but have tested negative and are good to go.
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Another solid day at the office. One
@DraftKings
championship seat, two King of the Beach tickets, & a good chunk of change.
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I said Tyler Higbee was a, “very good football player but not a very good human” in a video this week and there is a very distinct type of reply guy that’s very upset with me. It’s truly amazing.
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Why in the world would you barbecue Admiral Ackbar’s head?
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Nobody was ever better at calling the right audible.
#OMAHA
Peyton Manning sold his stake in 31 Denver-area Papa John’s stores on February 26.
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