Aaron M. Matthews
@AaronMMatthews
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
4K
I am a lover of performing and entertaining. I really love your mother's cooking. I am secretly a broom disguised as a horse, disguised as a walrus.
Ashland, Ky
Joined July 2012
Bob Ross just made a shift one day to be gentle. He said when he retired as master sergeant in the Air Force he never wanted to yell again.
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Saw a purple mustang, with purple lights underneath it, and the plates said "OMGBCKY"...I wonder how much junk was in the trunk?
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If it takes you 6 consecutive tweets to complain about your job, maybe you should stop being a whiney-ass crybag and go somewhere else.
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Greetings. If you'd like a daily giggle, follow @IanNolte . This is not an insult. #factchecked
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P cool how we go thru a process of choosing who we'd like to see in our TL and then twitter jacks off in our face while filling it w idiots
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We need to save this straight white male
Sudan is the world's last male white northern rhino and desperately needs to mate. https://t.co/R95evRcBhh
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Sometimes, after I've smoked, I'll have looked at my phone for SO long, when I finally look up from it , I forgot what room I was in.
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"Damn it, Jack! This is Mellissa Etheredge, not Charlie Daniels! Can't you clap on 2 and 4 like a normal human-fucking-being?"
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My letter to the Men's room at Cheddar's in Ashland: I'm sorry. -Aaron
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I'm going to open up a fried chicken restaurant for people who want to cheat on their diet called "Side Pieces."
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